Seeking Advise on Divorce

Updated on March 26, 2009
N.Y. asks from Deer Park, TX
12 answers

I have been separated from my daughters dad for over 12 yrs. I have had two sets of papers drawn up and he runs every time. I can't find him when he knows I want a divorce. Some how he always finds out. I can't find him again and am so tired of paying for the lawyers. Can I file some how on my own and if I do how do I locate him. I heard I can put an add in the local paper where his last known address was at. Is this true? If so do I do that after I have him served and where do I bring the papers after I fill them out?

1 mom found this helpful

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D.M.

answers from Killeen on

My husband had the same problem with his ex wife. Every time he'd have the papers ready, the server couldn't find her. After enough time his lawyer went before the judge and pled for an uncontested divorce, and got it, seeing as how no one could seem to locate her.

Honestly, I'd suggest calling around and seeing if you can find free legal aid. They can point you in the right direction for notification, and drawing up the papers yourself is a whole lot cheaper than hiring a lawyer. I would also suggest calling around for divorce specialists in your area. Many lawyers provide a free consultation, and that can also be an enormous help. Be sure to outline in everything how long you've been married, how long you've been trying to divorce, how many attempts to serve him papers there have been to date, etc.

I cannot stress enough, document everything. It will be a life saver in the end. Even if you end up drowning in paperwork.

Best of luck!

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

In Harris County, you should contact the Harris County Bar association. They can offer advice about finding a Lawyer to assist you on a sliding scale and sometimes at no charge if you qualify. They can also give you advice.
www.hba.org

Here is another group, check out their website and see if they can help you too.
http://lawyers.justia.com/lawyers/texas/harris-county

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L.M.

answers from San Antonio on

You can get a Divorce with out him. You will have to put an add in the paper of the town he was last known to live in, and it will be his problem if he does not show up. If you can't find him just let your lawyer know that and he may be able to help you out. Hope it helps.

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C.W.

answers from Waco on

Hi N.,
Thank you for taking the time and energy to find a way to stay home with your children and being able to support them. You did not say if you want any kind of support from the man in question or not- but if you want support you will most likely have to have him invol ed in the divorce-
\but- if not- there are agencies out there that will give you free legal advice about this situation. You can also get the divorce papers on line in Texas now- very plain and generic- but legal- as I understand what the law used to be and not sure if it has changed much- if you post in the newspaper at his last known address and say- two other places- like possible on the court house steps (there are so many things there he would never see it) or in the bathroom at Walmart- hahaha-- or where ever you are allowed to post- ten take your papers to the court house and file them yourself- (small filing fee) geta court date set and if he does not appear the judge will most likely grant your divorce- But since I am not an attorney, and I do not want to get caught practicing law- I would suggest you contact the free services of Legal Aid (phone book for #) and see how you can be directed.
The reason I know some of these thing is that I had a niece who went thru a horrible divorce and child custody case and she did all the legal work herself- getting info from free legal aids and the library and the internet- it worked for her without an attorney-.
also, I would like to know what you are doing to support your girls from home. I am always looking for an additional stream of income for my house as well. Retirement and living on SS income is kinda tough these days. Just PM me and let me know what you do-
Good luck and Blessings
C.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

N.,

I thought that you could file and it would become final in 60 days if the other "party" does not contest it or show up? Getting child support is another thing and I would contact the attorney generals office - child support division. I'm sorry - men can be such dogs about this stuff and it's criminal!
Do you live in Houston? I'm in the NW area off of 1960. What kind of business do you run from your home? I am looking for something so that I can stay home with my daughter. Her dad and I are seperated and I really don't know how it will turn out, but I can tell my daughter needs me here.
Please feel free to write back. It's always nice to have new friends.
D.

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C.F.

answers from El Paso on

N.,

Yes you can put an add in the paper but ONLY if you DO NOT KNOW WHERE HE IS. Once the ad runs then that is his service you do not have to try and have him served again. Usually an attorney will do this and it is costly because you have to pay for the add as well as attorney fees. The add ususally runs anywhere from $100-150. I am a paralegal here in Texas and have done this several times. You can call your local paper and ask for the legal department and they will tell you the cost, but getting that paperwork I don;t know if you can find that online. If you need any help please contact me I am in El Paso but since we are in Texas then all the laws are the same city to city. Please email me ____@____.com, I would NOT involve the attorney general yet. I would get the divorce then involve them Because they will take FOREVER to do anything for you. Also since he will be in default for the divorce you can state in the decree how much he is to pay you for child support then you take that to the attorney general and they will go after him for that amount and since he will more than likely be in arrears he will owe you as well as having to pay monthly. Good luck and again please contact me if you would like my help.

C.

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C.B.

answers from Houston on

yes, post the ad immediately. wait not sure for how long (ask a lawyer.) NO response = abandonment and cause for divorce. he is probably worried about support, just make sure to find out if in the decree u need to put that u will garnish wages for support and very quietly find his place of employment, call the attorney general of Texas and file on him. don't u just love Texas? U can do that her, u know?

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D.S.

answers from Killeen on

N., I would hire a private investigator. The PI can track his daily habits. He can not hide forever. You can have him served at his work. Good luck with the divorce process.

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

Yes, yes, and yes! This is exactly how I got mine. Your lawyer should have told you that this was an option.

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D.C.

answers from Longview on

Depending on the State you live in, you can run an add in the new paper, I think it has to run for so many weeks (like 5). Good Luck its sad that you have to go through this after so many years. Call legal aid and see if they can answer your questions. Take care.
DenieceC

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S.D.

answers from Austin on

Contact your court system. They usually recommend a newspaper to post to and how to handle this type of divorce. Also, your atty should now how to handle as well. However, you can do this solo. I think you have to put the ad in the paper for 30 days.

Hope that helps.

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A.R.

answers from San Antonio on

Well, im not to sure how it works when you are going through lawyers and have anything to divide, but i actually went to the courthouse. I can do an uncontested divorce without paying anything but the filing fee. In the paperwork they give you, there is something that states that if you are unaware of where the other person is, and youve tried to contact them, then you sign this swearing you dont know the whereabouts of that person and thats it. Like the court gives the some time to show up and if they dont then its finalized. Or have him get served so he has to appear. You can file without him knowing and then send someone to his house or job and get him served. But again, it might be different since i dont have anything to split. But thats what my paperwork said. Look into it and see if it applies, if not then im sorry about that.

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