Seeking Help on Dicipline for My Two Children

I am also having the same problem, no matter what I do, it doesnt seem to work. One thing I do that sometimes works is tell him he is going to bad boy school. That seems to work only for a lttle while. Good luck. Maybe we can find things together.
B.

My daughter is 5 and my son is 2 1/2 so I'm dealing a lot with discipline issues too lately. My daughter still has her moments, but when she turned 3 until she turned 5 was unbarable. We tried everything, some of the things that did help was my husband put all her toys in a trash bag like he was going to throw them out and put it in the basement for about 1 or 2 weeks. but that only worked once. Taking the things she loved most aways, playdates, TV, dessert after dinner, her favorite doll. That time is the most trying time until the teenage years so I've heard. My son I put him in the corner and that's been helpful, but I'm sure I'm going to have to up the stakes very soon. Good Luck!

Hello K.,

You should watch the NANNY, I get some good info from Her, but, My kids are all grown, so, I help my oldest Daughter with Her Son.

I would try a time out or Naughty Chair. You may have to keep putting the child in the chair, because it may Not work right away, but, Keep putting them back in the chair and that may work....Watch Nanny911 or the Nanny for more help if that don't work. I think It will work because your kids are too young to really take things away from them, because Your right, they dont usually care if you take their things away. I hope this helps.

K. from Beverly Ma

I also have a 3 year old that doesn't listen very well. I learned very quickly that taking things away and time outs didn't work. While I was at the library this week I picked up a book called 1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.. The theory is that you count... saying "That's 1", "That's 2", and then "That's 3". If you reached a count of 3 then you send them to their room by saying something like, "That's 3 - take 3". Three minutes would be for a three year old, one minute per age. When they come out of their room you do not discuss why they went there in the first place. I am still reading the book so I haven't started using this method yet. The theory is that your child will start listening rather quickly usually within a week to 10 days. I hope this helps. =) Good luck!!

I have a 2 1/2 year old and would also recommend the 1-2-3 magic book. The less I show my emotions to my daughter when she is misbehaving or having a tantrum the sooner she listens and calms down. It has really been amazing to see the change after using the strategies in the book!! Good Luck!

What is usually effective for children this age is a combination of both rewards and punishment. For punishment, figure out what works for them. Is it losing items that are important to them, is it losing time socializing with other children, is it going on trips with Mom and Dad to the store/movies/park? My husband tells the story of being a kid and his punishment was that no one in the family could watch tv for a few day, and it was his fault. He was the type of kid that could sit on the floor and have fun with his imagination --didn't need anything. So, none of the typical types of punishments worked. Try your best to figure out what works,and then use that as a punishment.
Additionally, you should try and think of some reward for good behaviour. When the child does act the right way or does the right thing, do you reward them? Even just a compliment can be very helpful. What you might want to think about is some sort of chart that you can track the behaviour on.
In a school I worked in, they used a color chart method. Every day students started out on green. When they started to do something wrong, they would get a warning. If they still continued the behavior, then the card would be changed to yellow, then blue, then red, then no color. For each color, there were some consequence. You could modifiy this, to when they get to blue, they get a three minute time out. Red is a ten minute time out, and no color is a loss of something they care about.
If the child stays on green all day, then that is great. Once they have three, four, or five green days, then they should get some sort of reward--extra tv or computer time, a gift from the store, a special trip with mom or dad. Again, whatever would be incentive for them to work towards that.
Hope this helps,
S.

Hi K....

When my daughter's father and I were still together his then 5 year old son was giving us a lot of trouble with discipline. I did a TON of research online, read lots of books and spoke with several child psychologists/counselors. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM said these things: set boundaries, be consistent & always follow through.

I haven't seen any of your other responses yet but I just answered another one of these requests and read the responses after. So many other Moms said to watch Super Nanny, and I suggest the same thing to you. You'll see that she's big on setting boundaries, setting up discipline, teaching parents how to be consistent and follow through and also how to set up a reward system for kids. It's one show I watch every single week. The kids on that show are horrendous...and every week she manages to teach the families how to deal and make home life much less stressful, whether they be families with both parents, single parents, split families, step families...you name it, she handles it. As you watch it, you'll see that the basics I described for you are the same in every case, just tailored to that particular family. I am definitely confident that you will be able to get some information and help just from watching that show.

Hope this helps!

:)

i hear ya. i have a almost 5 year old that is extreeme i just posted about. so obviously i don't have the answers. but i thought i'd let you know your not alone

Having a similar problem but I admit that I chose my battles for the sake of my sanity sometimes. See, there is SOMETHING that would affect them if you took it away. I learned the hard way that when I threaten them with something....I have to follow through. So now i choose my words carefully so when they don't listen I can actually go through with the punishment. You have to prove to them that what you are threatening them with is not a joke. To be honest with you it's more of a hassle for you than the kids. Planning on an outing to the park? or to a playdate? Are you already in the car ready to go? Stop the car and litterally take them out and don't take them. Make it real and show them how serious you are. Pick the things that they REALLY care about. There has to be something!

Hi!
I had a similar problem with my son-timeouts weren't working and he was making me crazy! The pediatricican reminded me that if I'm saying no 80 times a day, then I am saying it 79 times too many! In other words, pick your battles. He also suggested that I put him in his room instead of a time out.My son goes to his room far less than he used to, but I feel like they go through phases where they're testing boundaries. Good luck.