Seeking Moms Group in San Antonio, Texas

Updated on June 13, 2009
S.H. asks from San Antonio, TX
28 answers

My oldest son was murdered on March 28, 2009. How do I keep going? I need help.

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So What Happened?

I want to thank each one of you for your words of comfort and advice. This is honestly a very painful and soul wrenching experience. I have to forgive the young man that killed my son. I also have to pray that God Blesses his family. I think of his Mother and what she too must be going through. So I ask that you also pray for that family. God Bless you all and I have been Blessed with your caring spirits. Thank you so much for all you do. Be Blessed.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

I am so sorry. My son died March 8 and it was/has been horrible.

Prayers for you,
S., mom to 4 girls on Earth and 5 Heavenly Treasures

3 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from San Antonio on

S.,
I am so very sorry that your beautiful son was taken from you. I cannot even begin to fathom the grief you are experiencing. You have every right to feel lost; your pain is very real and fresh. You have a right to grieve.

There is a group in San Antonio called Parents of Murdered Children. (It is also a national organization) Here is their contact info.

S.A. CHAPTER P.O.M.C. ###-###-####
NATIONAL P.O.M.C. 1-888-818-7662
PHONE SUPPORT
Evelyn Guerrero ###-###-#### (speaks Spanish)
Mary Jane Peterson ###-###-####
Nathala Moody ###-###-####
Doris Thompson Ganyo ###-###-####

www dot pomc dot org is the website.

Blessings,
D.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from Houston on

I am deeply sorry for you loss. My family recently lost my brother last month after being ran over on his motorcycle. It is always hard losing a loved one. I thankfully have the support of my family and my dear husband. I too have good days and bad days. My brother was very close to my husband, my son and I. Both my husband and I have leaned on each other for support and know that we have to be strong my my son who really missed his uncle. The most important thing is to cherish the memories, and try not to get so lost in your grief and forget your other two children and grandchildren. Nothing we do can bring them back but we can do something about the time and memories we can create with the rest of the loving people in our lives. Also put your faith in God to help you get through this. Having him in our lives gives us the strength we need to endure. Have faith, the pain will never go away but it will get easier with time.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.C.

answers from Victoria on

S.,

So sorry to hear about your loss. One thing I believe will help is to not have high expectations of yourself. Grief is a long process. My experience was to get through it one day at a time. If that wasn't working, I'd try one hour at a time & sometimes I even had to just get through one second at a time.

I will be praying for you, S. H.

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J.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi there,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I don't think anyone who hasn't been through this can even begin to understand what you are experiencing. Just remember that God always helps you through your darkest hours. We go to a church that meets at Silverado theater at Bandera and 1604, Sunday mornings at 10:30. It is a great church and we would love to have you there.

Also, here are a few support groups that are out there. You and your family will be in my thoguhts and prayers.

GriefShare
GriefShare is support group structured around a 13-week lesson plan to help you through your grieving process. Join anytime. Meets Mondays 6:30-8 p.m. at Grace Point Church, 9750 Huebner Road. Childcare is available. For more information contact Sharon Vale, ____@____.com, ###-###-####. Website: www.griefshare.org

St. PJ's Children's Home No-cost counseling and psychiatric services for children and adolescent victims of crime and their families. Individual, family, couple, child, adolescent and adult therapy also provided for a fee. St. Peter-St. Joseph Children's Home, 919 Mission Road. ###-###-####.

Grief Support Groups: Life After Loss Free bereavement support program (five-week sessions) for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one within the past two years, regardless of the cause of death.

Parents of Murdered Children and other Survivors of Homicide Victims, San Antonio chapter 7 p.m. second Mondays, Balcones Heights Community Center, 107 Glenarm. ###-###-#### or log on to www.pomcsanantonio.org.

3 moms found this helpful
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R.N.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.,

My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what you are going through. I hope you have a spouse/partner you can lean on during this difficult time. I know my husband has been a tremendous support for me when I've suffered any kind of loss. I am from San Antonio (living in Katy now) and wanted to let you know that Jewish Family Services offers counseling on a sliding scale (you only pay what you can afford). They are located on the same campus as the Jewish Community Center, 12500 NW Military Dr. You do not have to be Jewish to use the services there. I think grief counseling would be very helpful. I will be praying for you!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Odessa on

Hi S..

I know your pain. At the time of my loss I had no other children. I wondered how would I go on. You have 2 other reasons to go on and they have suffered a loss as well. It must be hard to be "the rock" when you feel like you are crumbling inside.

I, too, am a greiving mother after the loss of my son-He would have been 12 this year. different circumstances. I want you to tell you that your pain will never ever go away but your heart will begin to heal in time. You will begin to replace the feeling of loss with the feeling of love of the memories you have. I am so sorry for your loss and I do hope you continue to seek the help of others who have lost a child. It helps to talk to others.
Remember that although your son is gone, you will always be his mom.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.E.

answers from Houston on

S.,

I am sorry for your loss. No, we are still the mother
of three. I loss my youngest son almost two years this
Oct. 20. He was only 19 years old. I miss him every day.
I attend a grief support group at the Methodist Hosp.
I ran across this website about 4 weeks ago www.griefshare.org/findagroup. I pray that God will comfort
you and your family.

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J.H.

answers from Waco on

S., My heart goes out to you. I googled Survivors of Murdered Loved Ones and came up with an organization called Parents of Murdered Children. Their web address is www.pomc.com. Please contact them and maybe you'll be able to share with someone that's in the same situation as yourself.
By the way, I would still say "mother of three," because even though your son is no longer here, you will always be his mother.
My prayers are with you.

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S.B.

answers from Austin on

S.,

I am truly sorry for your loss and that you are going though such pain. Try to remember that the intensity of the pain is due to the intensity of your love for your son.

I have lost several family members to drug addiction and am also a licensed counselor. I think groups can be incredibly helpful because someone with a similar experience can understand more deeply and we realize we are not alone. That is not to say that others can't help and it is important (but hard) to let people know what you need.

You might also check with SAPD victim's services to see if you would qualify for victim's compensation - it will pay for individual counseling if you feel this would be helpful. You might not qualify if your son was not a minor but I am not sure so it is worth checking. If you have health insurance, they will also cover some sessions with a counselor and I would make sure they have experience with grief/loss.

Thinking of you,
S.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

Oh S., I am so sorry for your loss. You take it one day at a time, one step at a time until you can handle more. I am saying prayers for you and your family. I hope justiced is served swiftly and fairly. Blessings to you and yours. "In everything, give thanks." CB

2 moms found this helpful

C.G.

answers from Austin on

Hi S.,
My heart broke as I read your post. You are still a mother of three, your oldest son is still with you . You will be strong again. Your other two children and your grandchildren need you.
Please call someone, and let it out. Your anger, your pain, everything....it needs to be expressed.
I don't know your pain, and I would be a fool to say I did, I'm thinking of you, I'm praying for you.

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E.M.

answers from San Antonio on

You have received really good advice all ready. I just
wanted to send you a big hug. I can't even imagine what
kind of pain you are going through. I'm also a mother and
just the thought of loosing a child really saddens me.

I hope you find comfort in God.

Lots of blessings,
Elisa

2 moms found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from Houston on

I live in Houston, but I would suggust finding a Christian church that has a grief support group or a ladies class that you could be a part of. The church is a great place to find comfort. I will pray for you and your family.Hope you find the support you need. Take care!

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.,
I am so sorry for you loss. We lost my older sister who was only 33 Jan. 5 09. It is really hard to lose a love one. I know my mom is still really going through it, she has good days and sad days. I think the pain of losing a child is maybe the most intense, that or a spouse. One thing my mom did that was so helpful for her was she found a group called Grief Share. It is a twelve week program, you can join anytime, you don't have to go to all the meetings you just go when you can, there is no pressure. You can go through the program as many times as you want. You will meet people who have also recently lost loved ones and the facilitators will be people who have lost loved ones but are farther down the road of healing. If you are interested just check out their website, griefshare.com. They do have groups in San Antonio. I will pray for you and your family, and you will survive, promise. Hang in there.

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P.G.

answers from Houston on

Although I have not experienced such a horrible loss, as a mother I can guess at how badly your heart must be hurting. You will always be a mother of three. No one can take that away from you. Deal with your grief the best way you can for the sake of yourself and your children. God bless you and your family.

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K.K.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.,

First I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I truly know how difficult this can be as I lost my 12 year old son in a car accident in October of 2003. My heart goes out to you.

I suggest joining a group called Compassionate Friends. It is wonderful support group for people that have lost a child. You can go to http://www.CompassionateFriends.com. I have looked up and found the following in your area:

San Antonio
Chapter Name: Alamo Area Chapter
Chapter Number: 1011
###-###-####
____@____.com
Marti
Meeting Info: 1st Thursday of each month 7:30 pm Covenant Presbyterian Church - 211 Roleto
Chapter Notes: Offers an informal dinner meeting 3rd Monday 6-8:00 pm at Denney's

Best of luck to you. If you ever need someone to talk to, please send me a private message.

K.

****************
K. Kennedy
Enhancing Lives...One Family at a Time!
www.More4MyChild.com

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K.K.

answers from Houston on

My heart goes out to you. You have experienced the worse kind of loss there is. The grieveing process is not widely understood, so many people will say things that they think will help, but do not. 13 years ago, when my Dad passed away unexpectedly, a friend gave me a book titled, "The Grief Recovery Handbook". I have since given this book to others and it is the best resource I have seen in helping people during this extremely difficult time. This ministry has grown since then and has other offerings, check it out at grief.net.

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

No mom group suggestions, just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. Parents aren't supposed to have to bury their children. You keep going because you have those two other children who need you. Counseling for everyone would be a good idea. Is there someone at your church you could talk to? Hang in there.

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C.W.

answers from Waco on

Hi S.,
I am so sorry for you loss. Please get in touch with cornerstone church- John Hagee is the pastor in san Antonio- I do not know what your religion or faith choice is and with cornerstone church it does not matter- there are people there that can help you with your loss.
Please contact them as soon as you can so you can get good counseling with your grief.
I will keep you in my prayers.
good luck and blessings

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M.R.

answers from San Antonio on

My heart goes out to you & your family for your loss! Hope you find the peace that you are looking for, your in my prayers.

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J.T.

answers from Austin on

All I can say is that every living creature has a time on this earth to live and also a time to die. Some of us have a shorter time here than others. There's no way to know when/where that time will come.
That's why it's so important to live and love one another as if tomorrow were the last day we had on this earth. No regrets, no remorse, etc. It's easier said than done.
Birth is rec'd with just as much joy as death is rec'd with the same amount of grief. Joy and sadness are a part of human life. We can't cherish one without the other.
There are some really good books out there that talk about this subject. One is "on Death & Dying" by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

I'll pray that you find some peace in all of this and know that God is not to blame for your son's sudden death.

I hope you can take something of what I've written here as some slight consolation.
-Jen

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D.A.

answers from San Antonio on

I am sorry for you loss. I can't say I know how you feel, but it must be so so difficult. Just keep going one day at a time and when that is too difficult, one minute at a time. Find a good support group- they are out there. This will get better, but not for a long time. Allow yourself as much time as you need to fully grieve and get counselling and take care of you.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Blessings,
D.

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C.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Hello,

I am so sorry for your loss. I have a friend whose son was murdered. It has been a very tough road for her. People will act as if she only has one child. They try to avoid her son at all costs. She has been helped greatly by a church ministry called Grief Share. They offer these classes at Community Bible Church. It has been a year and she is learning to live without her precious young man. I hope that you will find a group that will embrace you and help you to walk through this grieving process. Please remember you are STILL the mother of three and always will be even if one has been taken away from you.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

I am so sorry to hear of your loss! Hug your grandbabies and make them your life now.

Hugs!

Best of luck to you and see a councelor if you need to.

2 moms found this helpful

R.W.

answers from San Antonio on

You're on the right track. Joining a group of other parents who have lost a child will help with the healing process.

You should also see a therapist or psychiatrist. I can only imagine what you are going through. I am sorry for your loss.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Austin on

S., I cannot imagine what you must be going through. I don't know how old your other children are, but I have a friend whose husband died unexpectedly about 4 years ago, and their youngest daughter attended a grief group that was organized through her school. They lived in Canyon Lake at the time. If your other children are still school aged, you might could find them some counseling through the school system. As for you, the other moms have made many good suggestions. I hope it helps you at least a little bit to know how many people out there are thinking of you and praying for you. We can't take your pain away, unfortunately, but hopefully we can at least ease such a terrible burden.

-M.

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D.W.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I do not know what you are going through, but I know someone who does. God does because Jesus was his Son. God and His Word are your best resources try the Book of Psalms. You are in my prayers and are greatly loved.

God Bless DW

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