Seeking Suggestions on Helping 22 Month Old Adjust to New Baby

Hi C.!
My son was 23 months when my daughter was born. I had her naturally but the week before i knew i was going to have her (i had her 2 weeks early) my son became really clingy wouldn't sleep by himself only wanted mommy etc. everything you are expressing. I also became worried. One of my clients recommened that my husband and i get small gifts for my son, wrap them and pack them in the hospital bag. When he came to visit us at the hospital we gave him a gift but said it was from his baby sister. He quickly became attached to her and was kissing her is thanks. We also had a "bigger" present at home when we arrived back home. I really think it helped him be OK with everything. When baby was born he went to my friends house and he did great! visiting us often. When we got home he also did great. He just wanted to help mommy and hold his sister. I had him help me out and feel included by having him bring me her diaper when she needed to be changed, i also would have him bring me the wipes, birp cloths, balnkets etc. I even let him "help" me change her diaper a few times. He would also help my husband bring me water, snacks etc. When he were out i would ask him to watch him sister while in the stroller and make sure she stays happy. He would tell me when she would cry etc. I really think that it kept him feeling in the loop and made the adjustment easier. My daughter is 7.5 months now and he has not been jealous of her at all. I spend "Gavin and mommy" time together everyday! Usually when she takes her morning nap. Or if i need to go grocery shopping i will leave baby with my husband and i will take my son.
For right now have your daughter help you with getting ready for baby. Folding clothes for baby, getting your bag packed if not already, etc. Just keep talking to her about it that is the best way to prepare her. I let me son watch "A baby story" on TLC with me one day to show him that's how baby is going to come out of mommy. it did not traumatize him but i think made him more aware.
Let me know if you have any questions. I could keep going on about how we prepared him...lol
Good Luck and CONGRATS!
A.

You have got a lot of great advice, all I can add to it is she MUST:) have the "Big Sister" shirt for her visit to the hospital, my daughter was 22 months when my son was born and we went to the hospital prior to the baby arriving, to the gift shop and she picked it out herself.
Congratulations!! I think they are go through it, knowing that they won't be getting all of our attention anymore :)

Hi C.,

I have four children and the two sets are 17 months apart. What worked really well for me was making them a part of the pregnancy. I would have them draw pictures for the baby. Sing songs to the baby and talk to the baby. I would also have them give the baby hugs... which was to squeeze my enormous belly.

About a week before I knew I was getting close, I took my daughter and bought her a baby. That way when I was holding mine she could take care of hers. I believe the brand I bought was a Chou-Chou baby, which is pretty life like for a newborn. She loved it, everytime I nursed she feed hers, changed her baby's diaper and burped her baby.

She felt like such a part of it all that there were never any jealousy problems. When the "real" baby was napping, I did make sure to shower her with loads of attention and had playtime, so that she was reassured of my love for her.

My children are now 11, 10, 6 and 5. They all love each other greatly. Best of wishes with yours.... L.

All these ideas are great.
Definitely have her come to the hospital, to visit before and after the birth. My daughter (2 then) ended up coming to the hospital because I forgot shoes in her bag and my MIL needed a house key. We had her stay in my room and leave when it was time for pushing. She held her brother shortly after he arrived and was so proud. The baby "brought" her a present. My husband let her pick out a stuffed animal for herself at the giftshop, along with the big sister t-shirt and flowers for me.
We always tried to make sure one of us was with her when the baby was first home so she wouldn't feel neglected. Read to her, play little games or watch a video together while you nurse. Give one on one when the baby is sleeping.
Play up Grandma coming to visit her, not just to help with the baby. Have her Grandma take her on special outings and that will give you some alone time with your new little one too.
My daughter did start to stutter for about a month or so after her brother was born. The doctor said that is how she dealt with the stress of it.
Good luck. Boys are VERY different from girls but just as much fun!

That happened to me to. I had a c-section as well. The whole time I was pregnant I talked with her about it, and included her in my preparations... getting my suite case, shopping for "her" baby brother, rubbing my tummy, letting her feel "her" brother kick in my tummy etc.

For as much as they can understand at this age... let her be a part of the "event." Make sure also, that your Hubby is spending more time with her as the event gets closer...as he will be home with her while you are at the hospital. You need to transition her. Give your girl a "routine" with her Daddy... give her something of yours that she can hold onto...for me, my girl liked to hang onto a t-shirt of mine that I wore a lot, and wore my hair elastic band around her wrist.
Brief your Husband about how he may need to spend more time with her as she will miss you....to be extra patient, and she may have a hard time sleeping at night too. Your eldest child will need lots of attention too... don't let her get lost in the shuffle. BOTH parents take turns, as much as is reasonable. Let your girl "call" you on the telephone when you are at the hospital. My Husband and daughter would call me each night I was there, before bedtime. And I made sure my daughter knew that I was always at the other end of the phone.
It also helps that your Husband or mother keep your girl "busy" with fun activities while you are away. Have her make things for Mommmy....crafts or drawings, to "surprise" Mommy when she comes back etc. It will distract her and keep her busy. Have your girl make drawings for her new baby brother too... then it makes her feel like a part of it all. My girl, when I gave birth, would tell people "this is my brother! Mommy made him for me!" :) and she was so proud and still is, of her little brother.

Yes, I let her visit me at the hospital whenever she wanted and my husband could bring her. It made her very happy... AND it also gave her the chance to "welcome" her baby brother and made her feel special. We let her bring a "gift" for her brother and flowers for me... so she felt she was doing something special too. And, me & Hubby made sure to get a "special" big-sister present for her too... to help her feel special. When she came to the hospital to see me, (I had it in my suitcase with me at the hospital), my Hubby took it out, and we gave it to her. I also let my girl "eat" hospital meals with me in my room. She thought it was the neatest thing.

Always just make sure she is not feeling left out. That is key... you don't want her to "resent" her baby brother. For now, and in the future.

take care and congratulations! All will be fine, my girl surprised me with how "mature" she was about it all...I too was worried about her as she was clingy with me too. But it all worked out. :)
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

I was pretty much in the same situation just a few months ago. My son was also 22 months older than his new sister. He's now 2 and she's 3 1/2 months old. He is also my cling-on! I had to cold turkey wean him from breastfeeding ta-boot, when I was in the hospital. He also could feel like a change was coming on. I'm sure everyday you tell her about the about the baby brother in your belly etc. Mine would kiss my belly many times through out the day:) Anyway, I had my little guy come to the hospital to visit me and the baby...and he did pretty good. He definitely didn't know what was going on, but it's all an adjustment. When I came home with the baby, that's when it all began. My tips are pretty basic, but I give him mommy/me time when the baby is sleeping. They do sleep a lot at first-so that works out well:) When you are holding the baby, have your daughter come and sit with you, comfort her by rubbing her back or just holding her hand to let her know she's still your baby too. I constantly tell him how much I love him and what a great brother he is. I have him give the baby kisses...he brings me the boppy pillow. I have him get involved with whatever is going on. After a while, they just learn to adjust, honestly. He still has moments when he really wants mommy...so I make sure to put the baby down and give him some attention. I use the swing for the baby too. That helps!! I still play leggos and whatever else he likes usually tools...so just keep it normal routine of what you did with your little girl and things will work out. You might want to get her a little doll with some diapers/clothes,pacifier etc to play with...and act like mommy.
Just some suggestions...it will all work out!!