Seeking Your Help for Adoption

Updated on February 18, 2008
S.P. asks from Oshkosh, WI
19 answers

My husband and I are looking to adopt. We have been dealing with some "unexpalined" infertility issues for the last seven years and have decided to try brining a child into our lives through adoption. We have contracted with a licensed adoption agency, but we have been encouraged to search on our own. If you know of anyone who may be considering adoption, please let us know. We will soon have a website that birth parents can visit to learn more about us and contact our case worker. Again, if you have any leads for us, we would be so appreciative. Thank you, S. P.

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S.G.

answers from Provo on

I am so happy you are choosing adoption.I know how frustrating it can be. Childrens social services in slc emailed me a couple of days ago. they are looking for parents to adopt a full African American baby boy. The birth mom is due like Feb 15. any day. If you are interested email back and i will find a number.
Good Luck dont give up It will happen.

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T.K.

answers from Boise on

My husband and I adopted a 10 month old Korean girl. She is now 7 years old. The adoption agency we went through was wonderful and I highly recommend it. It is HOLT out of Eugene Oregon. I recommend foreign adoption for many reasons. If you want to talk about it, let me know. Good luck....it's a great experience!

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T.M.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi S.,
Congrats on your desicion to adopt. My husband and I adopted a baby girl 16 months ago. It was the best thing we ever did, what a tremendous blessing. Mamasource is local? I'm in the Twin Falls, Idaho area. We adopted privately through the Pregnancy Crisis Center. It was awesome, the Birthmom actually picked us to adopt her baby. We were there for the birth and it all in all was an amazing experience. We only waited for 3 months, then 8 weeks later had our little girl. Not to mention it ended up being very low cost, we paid for attorny fees, home study and the state paid for the birth mom delivery because she had an Idaho medical card. Less than $5000 all said and done. It is a Christian nonprofit organization and Marilyn is the Director. She is one stop shopping for adoption information as well. Hope this helps, would love to hear back from you.

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L.M.

answers from Green Bay on

HI S.,

We tried fertility treatments for about 2 years before hitting the IVF decision and chose to go the adoption route.

As you live in Wisconsin, you could check out Crossroads Adoption (http://www.crossroadsadoption.com/). We went through them in 1998 to adopt our daughters from Russia and the experience was a good one. They also have programs dealing with China, South America, and several other eastern European countries. I don't know if they deal with domestic adoptions, however. Lutheran Social Services in Appleton handled the social work side of the equation - they also have programs to adopt from several eastern European countries and IIRC they also deal with South America AND they do domestic adoptions too.

There is a different process for adopting internationally as opposed to domestic, including different home studies (the first step) so you'll have to decide early on what type of adoption you want to consider.

Our girls were 4 and 9 when we adopted them (they're now 14 and 19) but we met many parents in Russia who were bringing home beautiful babies and toddlers. We did not visit the "baby orphanage" while in Russia and I guess I'm glad I didn't because it was hard enough to see all the youngsters in the orphanage where we picked up our youngest daughter - I wanted to take them ALL home with me. The folks running the orphanages and programs in Russia were wonderful people and very helpful.

The down-side to international adoption is that the babies are often a bit older - in Russia they will likely be at least 6 months old due to state regulations on adoption - but the up-side is that there are so many children in need overseas that the wait is often shorter than it is for a domestic adoption. We waited 9 months (how ironic is that?) for our daughters after we found them and decided they were the ones for us. There's also often a travel requirement that may or may not be a factor in your decision. It was expensive, but it was worth the financial burden.

And don't forget you never know what life will bring you later. Last week our son was born by c-section despite 12 long years of infertility. :-) Our adopted children are thrilled with their new brother. Life has many interesting twists and turns...

Good luck!
L.

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D.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

S., We have adopted 3 times in 4 years. It took us only a matter of WEEKS once our paperwork was done. Our longest "wait" from approval to baby in our arms was 3 months. That's only because we set it up that way. Our adoptions are also open adoptions. They are all domestic & we got each of them right from the hospital! We also have 2 biological children. We tried to have more bio but after years of unsuccess & treatments, we chose adoption as well. We have Unexplained Secondary Infertility. Adoption is something we had always talked about but had planned on later. I can offer you advice & tips and most of all SUPPORT!! Adoption can be a very long emotional roller coaster. I refer to it as an Emotional Pregnancy! We go through all the emotions, even the labor...not physical but emotional. Geez, I even gained weight with all 3 adoptions, went through stages, I even NESTED!!! Don't listen to all the horror stories...for every one horror story, there are 100 good ones! Email me anytime, I'm here for you as you take on this exciting yet scarey journey!

D.

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A.H.

answers from Waterloo on

Do you listen to mommycast at all? They did a series on a situation very similar to this not very far back. I am adopted so I have some knowledge in the area. Everything that you are doing so far sounds sufficient. Good luck- there's a baby out there that is meant to be with you.

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T.V.

answers from Saginaw on

S.,

I am glad for you. I have often wondered about open adoption. I have known of a Pastor and his Wife that did that (she was raped when she was in the military so the baby isn't her husband's). I know of a couple of other people too that have had an open adoption. I have a nephew (who is 36) who I never saw and would like to find him.

I don't know if something like that would work for you.

T. V

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T.P.

answers from Omaha on

i wish i had some information/contact for you..
i just wanted to let you know i admire people so much who adopt. i would love to some day. and the first hand stories i have from friends who tried for years, 3 attempts of IVF unseccesful, started the paperwork and she became pregnant!! when the IVF'S didn't get her pregnant. she has 4 kids now without any help what so ever.. so ya just never know what is in store for you.. so i'll say a prayer for you for a gift from God,, how ever that gift ends up getting to you :-)

T.

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K.B.

answers from Casper on

Just a quick note to say that I have two friends that used a labor of love adoption agency and they both recieved babies within 8 months. They both swear by them because they are a nation wide company. Many wonderful stories from this agency.

K. B

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T.R.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I wish you the best of luck. We just adopted our second son - he's 3 1/2 months old. Our first is 7. It took us 3 years to get James. I was beginning to give up hope when we got the call. All I can say is keep hoping and praying and letting everyone you know (which I'm sure you have) that you are waiting to adopt. You just never know who you know that might know of someone. Our boys are truly a blessing.

Good luck!!! :)

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T.W.

answers from Duluth on

S. Hi I am new to the group I am T. and I have an adopted daughter that we adopted through social services foster care.Maybe that is something you and your Hubby can check into in your community. These children all need love and homes too and they are in various ages ours was 10 months old when we got her and is now 4...any questions I will do my best to help you out....T.

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T.W.

answers from Lansing on

Good Luck to you!

I will keep you in mind shall I hear of anyone thinking of adoption.

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A.L.

answers from Fargo on

My husband and I adopoted a beautiful girl 3 years ago and it was wonderful. We live in a different state but we adopted from AIM adoptions in Houston Texas and it didn't take long at all. The agency deals with mostly african-american or biracial children so if it doesn't matter to you her is there website. Aimadoptions.org. Good luck!! If you have questions I would be happy to answer them. I will be praying for you!!

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C.G.

answers from Boise on

S.,
First of all my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine wanting and not being able to have children. I have a friend who lives in Japan and they are in the process of adoption. They are using Oklahoma Foster Care. She said for the first year they will only have guardianship. But it is something to look into. I wish you the best of luck. Keep the Faith!

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K.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Best of luck to you during this journey!!!

My husband and I also struggled with IF for over 8 years and had our first son through the miracle of adoption. We adopted through the foster care system. Our son was 4 months old when we first met him and took him into our home. When he was 1 1/2 we finalized the adoption. It seemed like forever, but looking back, it was just a blink in time, and we had him with us the entire process which was an amazing bonding experience.

Good luck! If you ever think about the option of adopting a child through foster care, you can contact me for information if you'd like. We are still licensed for foster care and I do it all again :)

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L.L.

answers from Lincoln on

S.,
We have just completed a Chinese adoption. We are in a different place than you are...(she is our 7th child!)...but I wanted to recommend our agency - take a look at the website and see if it's something you would be interested in. Feel free, also to check out our blog, if you like.
The site for the agency is http://chinesechildren.org/
and our blog is
http://www.lieth.redthreadkids.org/
It may not be for you, but then again...
Blessings,
L. L

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C.S.

answers from Green Bay on

My husband and I had similar problems trying to have a child. When that happened we thought about adoption, but then decided to try foster care. There are so many children that need good homes. Anyway, to make a long story short, we have been foster parents for over 10 years providing a safe, loving environment for many boys and girls of all ages. Three of those children we adopted - now 9, 7, and 3. We currently also have a foster son, 1 yr. old.

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

I don't have any helpful info, but I wanted to say good luck to you. I grew up with two families who had adopted children, some from several different countries. Have you looked into adopting from somewhere other than the U.S.? Some countries might be easier and take less time. You sound like you will provide a wonderful, loving home for a baby. Hang in there, I am sure it will happen!

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K.A.

answers from Provo on

Sorry, no leads, but wanted to congratulate you on your decision and your proactiveness! My husband and I just adopted our first child four months ago, after 7+ years of painful pregnancy losses, surgeries, and waiting for/seeking out a birthmother to bless us with her child. I'm 33 and was beginning to think we would always be stuck in family "limbo" -- not quite newlyweds, but not a family by our expected standards. It has so been worth the wait! It's completely changed our lives! Good luck and keep the faith.

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