Sensitive Infant and Sleep

Updated on May 20, 2009
P.O. asks from Antioch, TN
14 answers

Anyone out there has a sensitive infant who does not want to be held and has the most difficult time sleeping on his own. I feel bad that I can't find anything to soothe him and he is trying so hard to sleep, but he doesn't want to be held and the only thing that gets him settled is to be in a quiet place but that's not possible with an active pre-schooler. He sometimes like to nurse but it irritates his colicky tummy, and after he eats, he is not interested in nursing for comfort. It is frustrating especially after I labored to get him to sleep and my demanding 3yr old come bursting in with activity and wakes him up. It would also be nice if my 3yr old would stay with his dad, but no, he is always around me with no break. Any advice?

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So What Happened?

Oh you mommys are great and I have lots of great ideas to try. In my frustration, I happen to be doing laundry and thought I would put the baby on top of it as it washed the clothes. Low and behold he fell asleep. My 3yr old hung around too, but the machine noise outcried him and didn't interrupt the baby. I then thought, man, this is a good business idea only to find out that another mom has already thought about it too. This is the website I happen to come across in my quest. So for any other moms with my problem, you might want to check out the CD. I am going to try it and see if it works too. http://cdbaby.com/cd/fussbuster

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T.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

My girls are 2 years apart. I used a air cleaner in the babies room to drown out the noise from my 2 year old. Also I would put in a movie in the afternoon for nap so the 2 year old was quiet and I could get the baby to sleep.

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S.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

Dear Pat,

You need to put baby in a room with the door closed and a sleep machine turned on. I think they have them at WalMart. It makes different kinds of soothing noises like the ocean, rain etc. Turn it on for your little one and you'll be amazed how much noise your 3 yr old can make and not wake up his brother. I too have a 3 yr old little boy so I know what you're going through. My twin girls are 16 months old and it took them a little while to get used to their brother's loudness also. Now they all 3 sleep in the same room and don't even wake up when the others cry.

You didn't say how old the baby is. Colic seems like it is going to last FOREVER - but it really does get better. Both my boys had colic so I can speak from experience. Mylicon drops work OK but they cost a fortune. Do yourself a favor and make some fennel tea instead. Buy some fennel seeds (they are with the spices at the grocery store). Put a tablespoon or 2 in a small pot with 8 -10 oz of water and bring it to a boil for 1 minute. Let it steep until it has cooled and then strain the seeds out of the tea. It smells like licorice and looks like pee. If it looks too dark you can dilute it a little with water. Put 4 oz in a bottle and give it to the baby to drink. Put the rest in the fridge. You can sweeten if you want to but I never did. It works every bit as well as Mylicon drops.

Now let's talk bottles. If your baby is colicky and you are using formula you need to be using the Dr Brown's bottles. They are a pain to clean and they aren't cheap but they are worth every penny if you use them correctly. That means DO NOT SHAKE the bottle to mix the formula. If using powdered formula mix it in a pitcher and then pour it into the bottle. With twins I was going through so much formula I bought one of those Quick-stir pitchers from Pampered Chef and made enough formula for a day and poured it into the bottle as I needed it. If you are nursing exclusively (hurray M. - don't get discouraged!) then keep at it even though his tummy hurts. Don't give up - the colic will go away and nursing will be an enjoyable and rewarding experience for both of you. You do need to watch what you are eating and drinking. What produces gas in you will produce gas for the baby like brocolli and cabbage.

Hope this helps
S. C. (M. of 5) feel free to email me if you have questions ____@____.com

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L.P.

answers from Jacksonville on

Oh I'm feeling for you!
I think the swaddling is a great idea!
Does your baby sleep on his tummy or back? I know I know I know that you're not sposed to let them sleep on their tummy but both my 1 yr old and 8 yr old always did and when they were on their backs, acted like they were scared. (The swaddling could help with that if you are against tummy sleep.)
I would call the pediatrician about the sensitivity concerns...whether it is a sensory issue, belly issue, etc...hopefully there are some signs or testing the pedi can help you with.
Also at nap time, I wonder if you put a fan or some music on, if it would help with the noise. It may cut out some of it ??
Although my son was 7 when his brother was born, I always tried to get his help so that we could do whatever it is that he needed. For example, I would say, "I really want to do that, can you help me get your brother to sleep? We have to be really quiet and then you and I can play." Not only did it give him a job to do which he was really proud of, but it helped him understand what was going on a little more which in turn helped me!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Miami on

It's called patience. may the saints give you all you require to get through this phase

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C.D.

answers from Jacksonville on

probiotics from healthfood store (refridgerator)this helps tremendously for colic..
play music in his room..

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M.L.

answers from Miami on

My daughter is now 2 years of age and has always been on the hypersensitive side. I ended up taking her to an occupational therapist who has been a great help to me. I learned that it is normal for some kids to be hypersensitive and I also have learned ways to help her. I am not sure that an OT would see an infant or not, but it is worth a try. Does your infant like to be swaddled? My sensitive daughter did extremely well with swaddling because she liked tight pressure verses soft pressure.
Hope this helps a little. I know it can be frustrating.

M.
wwww.workathomeunited.com/M.

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D.P.

answers from Miami on

Dear Pat,

You better have a serious talk with your husband, how come he is not cooperating with you? It's so easy to entice a child with a game, or even a walk around the block!!

You could lie to your 3 yr old and tell him the baby is sick and needs quiet so that he can heal.

Also remember pediatrics.com to discuss Baby's colic.

God bless all of you Pat.

D. P.

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Y.H.

answers from Daytona Beach on

hi...sorry you have to go through this... i have 2, girls my daughters are 8 and 3. my 8 year old was the same way til she was about 2 years old.... i kinda came to the conclusion that it was night terrors..(i guess) there was nothing that me or her father could do... feed her, hold her , console her, we tried everything.. of course this got me and her father into lots of arguments at god knows what time in the middle of the night... i finally figured that there is nothing that i could do , so i started staying in bed and letting her cry herself back to sleep...because it just upset me more when i would get up and run out of patience with a screaming child... finally she grew out of it...

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D.M.

answers from Miami on

I feel for you Pat. Have you tried swaddling? There is a really easy blanket I used with my daughter called the Miracle Blanket that allowed her the break the cycle of exhaustion and settle into a deeper sleep. There is a pretty cool video of a baby going from crying to calm in seconds here http://organicwinds.blogspot.com/2009/05/from-crying-to-c... Maybe if he can settle faster it will free you up to redirect your 3 year old with other activities.

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S.P.

answers from Orlando on

Hi Pat,

Firstly, I am sending you a big cyberhug! I went through this with my now 2 year old daughter! The first 3 months are tough tough tough, especially when they have colic.

Have you tried Gripe Water? It really soothed our little one's tummy pains. She did not want to be held either and swaddling didn't help. We just tried lots of different things and then, miraculously at 3 months, she improved dramatically.

I know this doesn't help right now... but it does get better. Our once standoff-ish baby is now a very huggy, loving toddler!

Hang in there and I hope your little boy feels better soon!

Oh..... and it sounds as though your 3 year old just wants to be with you. Maybe scheduling Daddy and him time might give you a break..... and then you and Daddy could swap out???

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P.O.

answers from Orlando on

It sounds like your infant may have a Sensory Processing Disorder. You should have the baby evaluated immediately. Pediatricians are not specialists in this field. Do some homework in the area. There is a facility in Winter Park called Lifeskills. There is a national organization called SPD, that can walk you through also. There is help out there. You are now on a new Journey with your baby. Helping your baby and other Moms. God Bless and ask him for understanding.

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S.K.

answers from Miami on

Have you tried a swing?

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J.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

Please forgive me if I am crossing the line here, but from the tone of your post, it is obvious and also understandable that you are racked with both frustration and tension over this situation. It looks like you have received some good suggestions on getting baby to sleep, so I'd like to address a couple other factors.

My gut tells me that there are a lot of factors going on here beyond your baby's inablity to sleep. 1) Your 3 year old might be feeling displaced and somewhat resentful about the time attention being devoted to the newborn. 2) You are strung out from the situation. As you know, babies and kids sense the vibe surrounding them so easily. It may take all you have, but perhaps trying to create a calm environment within and around you as well as devoting some special time to your pre-schooler might help. You say that he is always around you... he is 3 and you are his whole world, try to remember that you will long for those days when he grows independent. Perhaps tell him that when the baby is sleeping (as much as you need to catch up on housework or want to dive in bed, that that time is his time with you (or some portion of it). Are there ANY quiet activities he enjoys (reading, playing quiet games, etc.)? That way he becomes your ally in getting the baby to sleep and he may not feel he needs to "be around you all the time" vying for attention.

Again, these things are only suggestions designed to help. I'm a firm believer in the notion that "if what you're doing isn't working... try anything else." Creating calmness (and you may need to dig down deep) in yourself and your surroundings may least ratchet things down a little which is a good place to start.

Good luck,
J.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

swaddle baby, pop him in a sling/babycarrier (not a bjorn, but go to www.thebabywearer.com/forum and find a babywearer group near you) and move about the house or go for a walk w/ toddler and then after baby is passed out in the sling/pouch/wrap just keep him there or try putting him down then.

swaddling should help, even if he protests, it'll help him in the long run.

any chance it's acid reflux? there's SILENT reflux where there is no spit up but it's a double burn, the acid goes up and baby swallows it back down again. this is something I know about:
http://www.mamasource.com/business/14059862321568677889

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