Should I Have a Baby Shower?

Updated on December 30, 2015
M.L. asks from Shawnee, KS
23 answers

This is my 4th child and we have NOTHING. Our other kids are ages 1,3, and 5 years old. This pregnancy was totaly unexpected and we were done with 3 kids. We just bought a new house and so we dont have any money to buy baby items such as crib, stroller, carseat, clothes, etc.

I am wondering what you all think. Should I have a baby shower? Would you attend a baby shower for someone who already has 3 kids this young?

Thanks,
M.

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K.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Have another shower!!! If someone you invite has a problem with it they don't have to come! It's to welcome the new baby! I had a shower for each of my kids. My MIL was like "oh another baby shower?" I said yup! So just do it! I would total attend 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on baby showers.

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A.H.

answers from Springfield on

Who says that baby showers are for first born children only?
I have 3 girls and never had any shower.

And yes, I would attend a shower for someone that already had 3 kids if I knew the person, I was invited, and I lived close enough to attend.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

YES!!! You should ABSOLUTLEY have a shower!!! (And seriously....who cares if YOU do it OR someone else offers??) Not everyone in the world is made of $ and most of us with families (esp. you size) can afford to save $10 a week...or month for "extra" stuff. (I live check to check and have only ONE baby!) Lol!!! EVERY baby is a blessing, gift, and a celebration!! And if people are still on that etiquette "kick" they REALLY need to see that it's not 1920! Oh, girl, have a shower!! :) Have fun!!!

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P.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Am I really the only person who thinks more than one shower is tacky (unless there is a good reason for one)? If people want to buy you gifts, and they ask you what you need, tell them "EVERYTHING!" (you can always return and exchange if you really need something different.) I have 2 kids and didn't want a shower for my second. I don't like people thinking they have to buy me gifts, that's what a shower is. It's fine for the first because you need so much, and they are expected for first babies, just like they are for weddings! My friends asked if they could all go in and get me something I needed for my second and I said that would be ok. You don't have to have a shower to celebrate a baby. they can all meet the baby later! borrow items, go to resale stores, ask for help if needed. if they all would rather do a shower, do it, be grateful. good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

If someone is wanting to throw a baby shower for you, there is no reason why you shouldn't have one! My sister and I are both on the fertile side (we each have 3 kids), and we had baby showers every time. We fully plan on having them for each other if we have more kids. I don't think that you should be expected to reuse everything the new baby needs. There is nothing wrong with doing so, but no one will think anything of it if they find an invitation for a baby shower in the mailbox. Congratulations and good luck with your new little one!

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H.T.

answers from Kansas City on

Of course you should have a baby shower!!! My cousin just had her fourth child and she had a baby shower for every single one. There's no reason you shouldn't have one!

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

hi M., i would say if somebody is gonna give you one then go for it, but to ask someone i dont think i would. i got pregnant this same time last year, i would take $20 every week and go look for things on clearence at stores and buy the winter stuff that was on sale. also check out your consignment shops and things like that for a crib or if you belong to a church maybe you could spread the word there for what you are looking for. hope this helps W.

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S.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Yes you should have a shower, and there is no rule that says you cant ! It doesnt matter how many kids you have, each and everyone of them deserve to have a celebration. I am pregnant with my second and I have a 2 1/2 year old and they are both girls. I am still having a shower, 3 of my friends are throwing one for me. I still have everything from my first daughter and I will be reusing all of it, but there is so much more stuff out there, and I couldnt believe how much stuff ended up on my registry :) Good Luck and Congrats !!!

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J.P.

answers from Kansas City on

I think that, if someone's offering to throw you a baby shower, then, yeah, go ahead. But begging for a shower or asking someone to throw one for you is rude.

I have 2 kids and #3 is on the way (due in July). For my first, both girls at my church and then my boss at work wanted to throw me a shower, so I had 2.

Then for my second, I was a SAHM and no one from anywhere offered to throw me a shower so I didn't have one at all. And I was a bit sad about that - not because I wanted or needed the gifts, but because I think every child deserves to be celebrated and was a bit upset that no one thought to celebrate our second beautiful boy.

This time, though, we've moved and I'm in a whole new area. The girls at my church offered to throw me a shower and I told them that I honestly don't need anything (our older 2 kids are 4 and 18 months so I've still got all our baby stuff), but they insisted and are going to throw me a shower. There are 10 women in our church pregnant right now and every single one of them is getting a shower whether it's their 1st kid or 5th and I think that's really really cool.

But I would never have asked anyone to throw me a shower.

Plus, I know you don't have a lot of $$, but, honestly, even if you do have a shower, I doubt you'll get a lot of the high-dollar baby items. People will probably assume that since your kids are so young you've got a crib, high chair, stroller, carseat, etc. I threw a shower just yesterday for a girl having her 2nd child (older son is 3) and she got a lot of clothes and a ton of diapers, but nothing BIG. So if your motivation is to get people to spend a lot of money buying you the stuff you can't afford, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.

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L.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

YES! Who wrote the etiquette on showers anyways? I am often disapointed when my freinds don't have showers or don't register bc then I am in the dark as to what to get them. Like someone else said, if a person doesn't want to come, then she doesn't have to. Each baby is a blessing, and should be welcomed to the world with the same party as the first one.

M.G.

answers from Dallas on

As long as someone is throwing it FOR you and you aren't doing it yourself, it is no big deal.
I had a baby shower for my fifth. I was having a boy, and my only other son was 12 yrs old at the time. I also thought I was done at four but he came as a surprise. We had donated all of our infant necessities and found ourselves suddenly needing everything.

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D.O.

answers from Kansas City on

I think in these cases, it would usually only consist of family, and VERY close friends...Besides, people will usually buy an item or two after the baby is born (usually clothing) to give to you. Ask friends and neighbors if you can borrow some of the bigger things! We let our neighbors borrow a car seat base (they didn't even have to ask),and then our infant car seat is being "borrowed" by someone from our church. You'd be suprised what people will let you borrow!!!
Good luck

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S.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Honestly I would have a shower, especially if you need one. Bc of the fact your children are still young the baby can't excactly have their hand me downs yet. If you friends and family support you they should have no problem as to coming to your baby shower. I say throw one, for the baby.

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D.B.

answers from Bloomington on

IMO, I wouldn't have another shower. Look into consignment shops. Do you have any family that would help you? If you have no other options and a friend or family member OFFERS to have a shower for you, then go for it if you want...

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

M., I hope that you are blessed with a great friend who will throw a shower for you. I have four very close in age and lucky kept all my stuff and didn't need a baby shower....but it was offered by several friends. There are a lot of woman who have kept everything who still have diaper showers or clothes showers, etc. If someone knows you well enough to be invited to the shower they know you well enough to know you are in need of items. If they would judge you for having a shower then they are not someone you would want to invite anyways. Very rich hollywood woman have showers and they have more than enough money to afford every baby item known to mankind. Go for it! Enjoy your pregnancy. My children are now ages 8, almost 6, almost 5 and 3 almost 3 1/2. They are great friends. It is tough at first, but it gets easier. Enjoy it while they are still little! God bless. C.

J.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

Yes afcorce you have, and Who says that baby showers are for first born children only?

I was seeing this very type of cases like who celebrate the baby shower even they have already two or three children so don't feel awkward just celebrate and welcome your baby in this beautiful world.

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R.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Not sure where you are located, but check out Just Between Friends consignment sales, AWESOME stuff, at AWESOME prices. I attended one before my son was born last year, and will be going again this month for his next round of clothes, toys, etc.

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J.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I think people attend your baby shower for you, mainly. They are your friends, and they will celebrate the good news with you. I would have one if I were you.

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C.D.

answers from Springfield on

In most cases I would say having a baby shower with children that young would be in poor taste, unless the sex of the baby is different from the other children. If someone is throwing you a shower, then go for it, but asking would be rude.

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J.L.

answers from Wichita on

If I were you I would. My two kids are almost 7 years apart and I had to get everything all over again. I commend you for having a child at 15. I had my oldest when I was 21 and I still feel like I wasn't ready.

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R.K.

answers from Rockford on

Every baby is a blessing and should be celebrated! That's how I feel!

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L.K.

answers from Springfield on

I'm not sure if there is a freecycle group in your area, but it can be a great place for picking up nice used baby items...you can go to freecycle.org to join a group in your area.

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T.A.

answers from St. Louis on

M.-
Have a shower, through a party!!!! Congrats to you, who cares how young your children are, they are all a reason to celebrate!! My two are very young, boy 3, girl 11 months and I had a shower for number two even though I still had almost everything from number one. Received alot of clothes since they were one boy one girl so.... Who cares what others think, your friends and family are the ones that know your situation and know that everything that you receive will be most welcome.
T.

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