There are several different ways to focus when providing counseling. I have had counseling with a more Freudian approach which means we did delve into my early life experiences. I found helpful at the time. Currently I'm seeing, when I need to talk with a professional person, a counselor who prefers not to go into the past and focuses on what is happening currently. As another mother said he doesn't give advice but helps me to find an answer for myself based on my current situation. Both styles have been helpful at different times.
I do like to relate my current emotional reactions to the way in which I grew up thinking certain things and so when this counselor didn't seem to be going in the same direction as I was going I asked him about his focus and told him what I wanted. We have arrived at a way of communication which seems to be somewhere in between the two ways of looking at things. I don't spend as much time as I did with the Freudian psychiatrist but I'm getting the help that I need.
I think it would help you if you talked with the counselor about what you want from counseling and see if he's able to provide that. It's possible that you would do better with a different counselor or that once you let this one know what you want he can make adjustments to his way of directing you. Or perhaps will explain to you why knowing more about your background will be more helpful than the superficial approach of advise only. Actually I've known several counselor/therapists in my professional life and have had some counseling training and it's rare for a counselor/therapist to give advice. As Isaid, they listen and ask you questions so that you can make your own decision. Friends and family can and usually do give advice. Professionals usually don't.
The one that I currently see from time to time will sometimes give his opinion on logistical questions such as when I say "this is what I want and how do I do it?" He refers me to people who may be able answer my questions if the matter is more practical than emotional and he doesn't know how I can obtain my goal. For example when I'm having difficulty with a friend or family member he suggests that I try different approaches. If the reason that I'm having difficulty is best addressed somewhere else he'll tell me. He doesn't tell me which one is the best. He does encourage me as well as help me see the "problem" from different angles. I believe that his suggestions are based on what he knows about me from several meetings that we've had. To be effective I believe that a counselor does need a description of your background as well as an understanding of your life now and how it affects the reason for your wanting "advice."
Unfortunately, $100/session is the norm. However, you can go to a clinic that offers a sliding scale fee arrangment. Your current therapist may know of ones in your area. County Health Departments and schools that teach therapists are the two resources that I know about. Pacific University located in Forest Grove has an office in downtown Portland. There are other non-profit organizations which also offer a sliding fee scale. Some are specialized such as those who treat children and provide family services. Hospitals provide classes that address different issues and their fee is minimal.
Look until you find the counselor that best meets your needs. First, discuss what you want and how they approach counseling before leaving the counselor that you have or starting with a new one. You most certainly do not have to continue paying for therapy that you don't find useful. I do add, though, that sometimes we resist counseling that is in the long run most helpful because it brings up negative issues we'd rather not think about even tho they have an affect on the situation that has created the need for "advise."
My first therapist asked me why I was afraid. I didn't even realize that I was afraid of several things and did not trust that I could have any success in life. My immediate reaction to her was anger. I only saw her a few times and probably continued because my sessions were covered by insurance. Because I questioned her belief I started reading and then started with a psychotherapist that was unpaid by insurance. Several years later I went back to her and found that while looking back at our earlier sessions realized that she was right. I resolved my issue with the counselor by reading and seeking another professional's advice. The question that started this quest was "what can I do to be happy." I did have specific quesions related to that question such as how do I manage working with supervisors that I thought were being unreasonable? I wanted advice, not an analysis. I'd never would have become happy without first knowing why I was unhappy. She could have told me to find other work but I wouldn't have learned anything from the negative experience that I was trying to avoid. I stayed with the job, learned an immense amount about myself and how to get along with difficult people. I would not have learned much of anything if she'd given me advice that I followed without knowing why I was having this difficulty.
My experience may be unrelated to your search for advice. But my advice about finding a counselor that suits your needs is a One size fits all" sort of information. I hope that it is helpful to you.
