SIDS Death

Updated on January 28, 2007
A. asks from Wentzville, MO
22 answers

I just found out that one of babies that my childcare provider was watching passed away from SIDS yesterday while in her care. I am feeling a little anxious about even sending my girls back to her. I have read that SIDS may be genetic, but I am still feeling anxiety about her watching my children. She has always been great with my girls and I have no reason to think that she would do anything to hurt them. Has anyone dealt with this or does anyone have some insight on SIDS itself.

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to thank everyone for their advice. Now that I have had some time to think and read everyone's responses I understand that there really is no need for me to fear sending my children back. When I first sent this out I was still in the mindset of what if this was one of my children. I know that they are at the age where SIDS is not a concern, but I still had to think twice about sending them back only because they are my life. I want to protect them. I have never had an issue with the childcare provider and she has been great. I just hope that she has the strength to get through this loss. I can't even imagine what she is feeling. So thank you to everyone it has truly been a big help.

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C.Y.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't have experience with this, but whenever something is bothering me I just go with my gut instinct. It usually is the best way to go. That's a tough decision. Good luck.
C.

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L._.

answers from San Diego on

I don't even know what to say.

As a mom, I'd be scared too. There's no other reasonable reaction.

But as a provider.. I've been doing this for 20 years and it's ALWAYS been a great fear of mine. I peak in on the babies while they sleep OFTEN. I will watch to make sure they are breathing and if they seem too still I will press their backs so they wiggle.

How in the world is a mom to know!?! You can't know what actually goes on in a caregivers home when the doors are closed.

Isn't there an investigation going on? Don't they usually close down a daycare until the investigation is over? I feel so BAD for the mom and dad and family. I feel so HORRIBLE for the daycare provider. This is so unfair to lose everything she's worked for if this isn't her fault at all!

I'm sorry. I'm no help. I am just telling you that your not overreacting at all.

Suzi

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D.K.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My best friend's mom was a childcare provider for 25+ years, until one of her babies died of SIDS. She did nothing wrong but she still had to shut down pending an investigation. As a parent I would also be scared, but I watched how this affected her. She was so upset that she actually stopped doing daycare altogether. This baby was a sleep in the late afternoon (right before p/u), when she went to check on her she was not breathing, she did CPR while her daughter called 911. She continued to do CPR until EMS came and she went to the hospital with the baby. (the mom was stuck in traffic) the baby died with the daycare provider. My friend's mom as well as her sister still have problems over this.

I know this may not ease your fears, but the provider is probably scared to. If the provider is good with your girls I would keep them with her and show your provider that you realize this is hard for her too. She is probably having enough self doubt.
Good Luck!
D.

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A.B.

answers from St. Louis on

How awful! Most SIDS deaths occur in infants under a year old. I don't know that i"ve ever heard of a 2 or 3 year old dying of SIDS. How old was the baby that died? It is very concerning that this happened while the baby was at your sitter's home. Does she or anyone in the house smoke? Or have many pets (dogs, cats)? Does she place babies to sleep on their sides or stomachs, instead of the back? Yes to any of the above are contributing factors to SIDS. I'm sure she's grieving for this child right now, too, so a conversation may not be easy, but if you're worried, I would not hesitate to find other childcare, for the sake of your girls.

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B.R.

answers from Peoria on

put it in perspective. your child is at their child care provider. A child falls and gets hurt. Are you going to take your children out of the child care or are you going to send them back? The same thing with this situation.

SIDS is nothing that anyone can prevent. It is something that GOD has in his power. It was going to happen reguardless of where that child was at the time, unfortually.

IF you are comfortable with your sitter then there is no reason to not send your girls. They are loved there and well taken care of.

This same situation happened to my child care provider. It happened in her home. Yes i had some anxiety sending my 8 year old back. Not becasue something was going to happen to him but becasue I didn't want to answer the questions that he was going to have due to the situation.

If you have good faith in your child care provider don't let something take you away from them that THEY have no control over.

I am prying for that babies family.

B.

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V.R.

answers from Goldsboro on

A.,
I'm so sorry to hear about this. But I can tell you that it is NOT the care giver's fault for this kind of death. I have done my own reasearch on this topic as I have a young baby also and have found that the most recent extensive studies show that SIDS is caused by a drop in the child's saratonin level yet they do not know what causes the saratonin level to drop. I can assure you that this is a chemical imbalance and NOT a neglect issue at all. I can also understand where you would be concerned. I hope this helps you make your decision as you have to do what is right for you and your children. God Bless and Good Luck!!

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A.H.

answers from Springfield on

The latest I've read on SIDS is that it has something to do with the way the brain developed. There are precautions that one can take to help reduce the risk, but your children are old enough that SIDS isn't a real concern for them. I very much doubt that there was anything that your children's caretaker could have done. How very sad for everyone involved. You might want to check out some SIDS websites, to better inform yourself. I have a friend whose youngest daughter died from SIDS at two months of age and I know that it devastated her. I am far from being an expert on this, but again, check out the websites and see what you can learn from them.

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D.T.

answers from Tulsa on

It really depends on your relationship with the provider.

You're children are too old to die of anything that is often contributed to SIDS but if their naps are on unsafe beds or couches instead then they smother, well that is also considered SIDS. one of the houses I managed was being used as a babysitting house and had a child the age of 5 smother there because our tenant let her roll off the side of the bed into the space between the bed and the wall.

Allergic reactions to immunizations are often written off as SIDS but people don't know they have an allergy until they try it. The same is true of food, medication, cleaning and bath/body products.

I think you trust and support during this loss would be appreciated by your care giver. I bet she will be even more loving toward your girls now that she has this loss in her heart. Helping your girls understand will be harder and you all will probably go through the grieving process. My prayers are with you, the provider and the parents who lost out on some great joys.

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H.B.

answers from Tulsa on

with your girls being 2 and 3 they are for the most part out of the danger area when it comes to SIDS.

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S.S.

answers from Joplin on

SIDS is something that can't be controlled. It is not something that the babysitter did. If you have never had any problems with the your sitter in the past and trust her then dont let something that is uncontrollable dictate your decision. It is really hard to find a good baby sitter these days. This is only my opinion, so in the end you have to make the finally decision but if I was in your shoes since your baby sitter has not given you any reason to doubt her ablities, I would keep her. I hope that my advice helped and I hope you can make the right decision for you and your girls. God bless and good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Tulsa on

SIDS is common among newborns.. i wouldnt worry about your children dying from it.. they are too old

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S.S.

answers from Kansas City on

A.,

You have nothing to worry about with your daughters being ages 3 & 2. When I was 4 I had a baby brother who died of SIDS at 2 months. You have to look at the childs enviroment. I have done so much research on SIDS, and I myself am a very over protective parent. There is no way to stop SIDS all you can do what you are suppose to do. Smoking is the leading cause with SIDS. SIDS also only effects children in there first year of life, mostly between 2 and 4 months. Again you have nothing to worry about !

S.

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J.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

First, your girls are out of the danger zone for SIDS. Second, there is no medical proof that SIDS is genetic...it is one of those unfortunate things that happens randomly. Though there are preventative steps to take, there is no guarantee to prevent it. If you don't have any instinctive reasons to think she is neglecting your girls, I would not be concerned about continuing care with her. She will probably need some comforting as this (I'm sure) is a difficult thing for a good care giver to have to deal with. However, if you begin to feel uncomfortable with her caring for your girls for any reason, it is your responsibility as their mom to do what you feel is absolutely best for them. Best of luck!

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J.

answers from Springfield on

your babies are okay they are old enough to hold their head up if the baby in here care was old enough i would call the athorities and have it checked out i had a neice die from it at three monthes old it has to do with how the baby can breathe on its own and also how a person is with putting the baby down for a nap if she smokes etc. I dont think it is heretitary now one before my neice or after my neice died from sids i would check it out since the baby was in the care of someone else. But your daughters are okay from sids. also they say its sids when a baby stops breathing on its own my neice died because my sister n law didnt have a crib and she was a heavy women and rolled over on top of her in her sleep and didnt realise it till hours later after the baby should been awake she has never forgave herself even tho it was a freak accident and something that could of been avoided by buying a crib but accidents happen but i would take out my kids because if the baby was old enough to hol its head up then there is foul play there.

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D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

You may want to do some research on the link between vaccination and SIDS - find out if the baby had recently had shots...

SIDS occurs among babies who have suffered a physical insult to their vulnerable bodies. Scheibner and Karlsson learned that the most common physical insult suffered by SIDS babies was routine vaccinations. Printouts from their monitor illuminated patterns that indicated critical days after vaccinations.

The above taken from this website: http://www.proliberty.com/observer/20001105.htm

"Crib death" was so infrequent in the pre-vaccination era that it was not even mentioned in the statistics, but it started to climb in the 1950s with the spread of mass vaccination against diseases of childhood. Harris L. Coulter, PhD.

"These data show that DPT vaccination may be a generally unrecognised major cause of sudden infant and early childhood death, and that the risks of immunisation may outweigh its potential benefits. A need for re-evaluation and possible modification of current vaccination procedures is indicated by this study." William C. Torch, M.D., Director of Child Neurology, Department of Paediatrics, University of Nevada School of Medicine

The above taken from this site: http://poisonevercure.150m.com/sids.htm

The DTP vaccination is very dangerous and thousands of children die within days of it every year. They often write it off as SIDS.

Find out what you can to be more aware of the situation - I wouldnt worry about your daughters care with the provider though unless you have reason to believe something else is happening there...

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think you have to worry that your kids might die of SIDS while in her care. The only thing you have to worry about is if you think the caregiver might have been negligent or even harmful and the SIDS death has perhaps been misdiagnosed. If you have no reason to believe that, then they should be safe there.

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N.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I just wanted to say i've read most of the responses and it is true your girls are mostly not at risk for SIDS. But i'm not sure if you heard about the story that happened about a year ago with a 3 year old who died of SIDS. They are still at risk no matter how small the chances may be. I would take my kids out of her care just until the investigation is completed to make sure that there was no "foul play" involved.

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

How old was the child that passed away? SIDS usually is only for a certain time and your kids are past the time frame where SIDS kills kids so I wouldn't worry too much unless something else is found out regarding your childcare provider.

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T.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi A.,
How horribly sad!
I read the others' advice-- and agree with much of what they said-- your girls are pretty much out of the range for SIDS. BUT- I DO want to point out the "other side", that you really DO need to consider.
And that is, do you know for SURE that this was SIDS? It only happened 1 day before your question was posted-- how do they know already, that the death was from SIDS? Had they already done an autopsy? Autopsies and their final findings usually take 2 or 3 days-- it seems a little soon for you to already know that it's SIDS, when it just happened yesterday.
You may want to consider somethings depending on WHO gave you the information. Who did you find this out from? The provider? Another parent? IF the provider WAS at fault somehow, she certainly isn't going to tell anyone, right? She could have laid the baby on a pillow and it suffocated, and she's telling everyone it was from SIDS because she doesn't want it to look like she did anything irresponsible. Or maybe the baby was continually crying, and she covered his face and he couldn't breathe. I certainly don't mean to be incriminating your provider, those are just hypotheticals--but the point is-- you don't know for sure, unless you got your information from an authoritative source, post autopsy, and not just from the provider or another parent who probably wouldn't know what really happened either.
I know it's not easy to think about- but I'd be sure and check my sources before I'd let my kids go back.

T.

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J.L.

answers from Tulsa on

I would check with the local police department and/or DHS to see if they are conducting an investigation. I would think that your two children are too old to be at risk for SIDS. I have a 3 year old daughter myself and I would never think of that as a risk. But, I would still want to know the details of the investigation and if there is any suspension surrounding the death.

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L.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I've read all the replies to your post and your update but I have to say that "having no reason to think she would hurt them" when there is about to be an investigation because a child DIED (regardless of HOW...only she was there). I understand it is POSSIBLE that she did NOTHING to contribute to the child's death but do you really know this for 100% certain and if so, how could anyone truly know this?
I would not say you should assume she did something but that you don't know for certain and the risk is there. Your children are still pretty young and small. How did anyone know it is SIDS? Just her word for it?
I am certain that it will probably become a non-issue because she will be in an investigation and if she is licensed or registered with the state they will tell her to close while it completes.
I know it is a change for your children but what if another child were to be hurt in the next month, would your opinion change? You can't know what the future holds at this juncture and unfortunately, in this day and age, I just don't think you can be too careful.
Again, I am a child care provider so I am not just speaking as a parent. If something like that happened in my house of course I would feel terrible but I would not expect anyone to trust me after something like that either. Not until it is proven.
Anyway, I just felt compelled to tell you this. Of course you can and will do what you think is best for your children, I just think being cautious is best in a case where a child DIED in care.
I'd like to add that I am a mother and a child care provider. I would remove my children because the risk is there.

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M.P.

answers from Tulsa on

hello,
I have done quite a bit of research on SIDS because I myself have a 7 month old and since your girls are 2 and 3 you dont have to worry about SIDS, the extensive studying I've done on it all says that SIDS is only prevalent in babys 1 years old and younger , also it may not be her fault that the baby died from what I've always heard day care centers are so understaffed there is really no way she can watch every single baby especially while they are sleep, so I wouldnt worry about it if I were you, especially if the provider does not have a history of neglect. hope this helps.

M.

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