Six Year Old Daughter Won't Stay in Her Bed!

Updated on March 10, 2008
J.R. asks from Sand Springs, OK
6 answers

My 6 year old daughter goes to bed in her own bed (she and brother are upstairs, master bedroom is down) at night but around 1-2am each night she comes down and gets in our bed. I could live with this if she didn't steal my pillow and kick me repeatedly all night! We've tried to wait this out but there seems to be no end as she has been doing this for a couple of years now. She says she is "scared"... We have been rewarding her with a sticker on her chore chart (which equals 25 cents to her) when she stays in her own bed all night, but although she likes getting the sticker, it is not enough to keep her in her own bed. Any suggestions??

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J.P.

answers from Tulsa on

I think at this point she is definately in the habit of getting in bed with you which means it will be hard to break. The scared thing could be just an excuse but just keep reassuring her that shadows are just from all of the wonderful beautiful things in her room. Maybe tell her that nothing bad can get to her when she is in your house and, ask her if she hears noises and if so, that any noises outside are just the beautiful trees or the wonderful wind or anything you think of that will comfort her. But most of all I think it's important that you calmly but firmly take her back to bed everytime she gets in your bed and keep rewarding her for staying in bed. But just don't let her stay in your bed. This could take many times to break the habit but it is necessary to break the cycle. Be consistent and patient. Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Tulsa on

I sympathize with you in so many ways! It is so hard to make your 'scared' child go back to bed but at 6 years old when it is happening repetitively it is more a ploy than an actual feeling. As my hubby says when my daughter does this same thing, "supernanny her!" that means no matter how much protesting or how many times it happens put her right back in her bed. Its hard but eventually she will learn to stay there. Best of luck and God bless!

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A.B.

answers from Lake Charles on

I agree that it is probably a habit. But if a child is scared that really needs to be addressed. Walk her around the room, have her point out things that seem weird to her or that may create a weird shadow at night. change things around make sure there are no shadows in the room or coming from the window. Tell her that in the bible it states the god gives us his sword and shield to protect us from all harm give her a fake styra-foam sword (from wal-mart) and put it and a bible by her bed and when she gets scared she can pick it up and say Jesus is with me and there is nothing here to scare or worry me. maybe stay with her awhile in her room and show her, build up her faith in that and tell her if she still needs you to call you she can(place a walkie talkie on her night stand as well, have the other with you), and when she calls make sure you go up so that she knows you are still there when she needs you.

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

Try talking to her more about why she is scared. If she can talk about what is scaring her, maybe you can explain it so that she understands she doesn't have to be scared. For example, if she thinks there are monsters in her room, try explaining that monsters are not real, they are only on TV, etc., whatever you think will work with her.

Or perhaps she is hearing a noise at 1-2am? Since it's always around the same time, there maybe something in her room or outside that makes a noise. Try sleeping in her room with her one night and see if you hear anything.

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J.T.

answers from Enid on

This is a little different from your situation. My 5 year old son gets up way before I do. It was a problem until we got him an alarm clock. We told him that unless he needed to use the bathroom he was to stay in his bed until the clock said at least 7, we leave some breakfast for him the night before so he can eat that and play quietly in his room. Once the clock said at least 8 he could come wake me up if I wasn't up already. He feels empowered because he has his own clock and he knows what is expected. We did have some confusion at first with the AM/PM indicated on the clock because he insisted the "P" meant it was time to play. So we just made it so when it says 7p he is allowed to get himself up. It isn't exactly the problem you are having but perhaps a clock in her room with the understanding of when she can get up or to know the time when she can come snuggle might help. It couldn't hurt.

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L.M.

answers from Shreveport on

My 5 1/2 yr old son went through a stage like this earlier this year. After about 1-2 weeks, we had had enough! So, one friend suggested that when he came in the room, he could have a hug/kiss and then if he wanted to stay, he would have to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag. We were desperate and tried it. Since the floor was not very comfortable, he was back in his bed after a few nights. We also became very consistant that he could not sleep in his bed because he was such a big boy. I think we also may have changed the lighting a little and talked about what his bad dreams were. He has only come in our room twice in the last 4 months.

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