Son Having Problems in 4Th Grad

Updated on October 14, 2010
G.P. asks from Hialeah, FL
14 answers

My son is 9 and in 4th grade. He has always been top of his class and honored roll since he was in Pre K. In kinder he could read at 3rd grade level and he is an avid reader. Fascinated by things like Greek Mithology and Astronomy. He has an imaginary lab where ihe created futurisitc inventions etc. We have been told several times that he might be gifted.
SInce he started 4th grade he has not been doing so good and he continuously fails to follow instructions and directions and his academics have been taking a steep decilne. The teacher told us that he gets distracted and fails to concentrate..
I wonder if anyone has been in a similar situation or know a similar case and have any sugestions

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K.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would look at three things first...
1- Is he being bullied? Is there a child in the class that is bothering him?
2- Does he have a crush on a gyrl? Very distracting, indeed...:)
3- Is he bored with the work? And are they just giving him busy work instead?

The school system is made up for the average mainstream child. They are not equipt to handle gifted children (most are not-I should say). They tend to give these children busy work that does not spark their minds.

This is the reason why more home educated children are either what would be considered "gifted" or "special needs" by public school standards.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Any chance that he is actually bored? Does the school have programs for gifted children? Have you considered having him tested and evaluated for being gifted?

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If he IS gifted (he sounds VERY, VERY bright to me!) he might be bored. Is he getting enough challenge? Is the imaginary lab a "challenge" class? Have you asked the teacher why she thinks he's checking out? I'd try that.
Are his eyesight & hearing OK?
Good luck.

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S.S.

answers from Tampa on

Oh My .. I am in the similar boat and have been thinking about it (and loosing sleep since last week). I have 8 year old twins -- boys. One was always ahead of others and more serious, they both were moved up one grade in 2nd grade because they were just so far ahead of other children. They are end of summer born, so they are young for 4th grade. Now, this year I have been noticing that my one boy (who was always ahead) is not doing as well as the other one. He seems more stressed as he can see his brother doing much better (which is not helping the situation either). Yesterday, I found out that they both were crying in the class as one made in the Math Team in school and other (The one who used to be ahead and serious) did not. I have tried my best to lighten up the situation since many times in the past I coach for Math Competitions -- they are well aware of trophies and medals. Not sure what to do.... I feel bad. I am definitely going to try to spend some time with him and work on Math and academics One to One.... but I think may be it is a bit too much for him. I have talked to them since summer about staying in 3rd grade one more year but they don't want to. They are still in first 6 ot 7 children in the class .. but not on the top top as they used to be. I would be interested in hearing what other parents did when they encountered the similar situation and how to help my kids do better.

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

There are 3 barriers to study- and the worst I think is mis understood words. There is a whole technology of how to study. When someone says a student is distracted that is a symptom of a study problem, NOT the problem itself. Please do not treat the symptom of study tech not used. If you can get him out of that teachers class, better out of that school. He is "failing" to concentrate because she has probably used words he didn't understand.
There is a Learning center here that uses this study tech, or check information and find if you have a Dianectics center close to you- they have courses on study tech for kids, and for adults. We used this with our girls, and as soon as we found the word they would brighten up considerably.
And there are 2 other barriers to study that you should know as well. If you have difficulty finding a place contact me, and I'll track down from this end.
You are right- he is gifted- he is suffering from barriers to study, and it can ruin his love of learning. What kind of life he has now depends on you.
You are so correct to note that something is wrong. And the fix is nothing short of a miracle- I have seen it especially with our youngest.
best, k

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S.K.

answers from Boca Raton on

My son has always had some difficulties in school but last year he finally made honor roll each grading period. He is in 4th now and the challenges are all over again. This year is tough and the kids are older and more verbal. My son is very well like and has a lot of friends but he just experienced his first bullying which was taken care of and some verbal teasing. He is very sensitive and we communicate very well as a family. I would encourage you to talk with your son about his day as much as you can. He could just be feeling the pressure of the new level of intensity. Never stop asking questions and stay connected into his business and get to know all the kids. I have done this since kindergarten and it really creates a safe environment for open and trusting communication. Good luck, 4th is just tough.

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C.G.

answers from Fort Myers on

The same thing happened with my son - he got 'bored' with school and they diagnosed him ADD -
Many 'gifted' students are ADD.
Talk to the school counselor and see what they suggest. Also, a check with the dr. may be helpful.

Good luck to you

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C.M.

answers from Miami on

Ahhhh ... this is like a flashback for me. I think everyone has had valid suggestions below. My two immediate thoughts were:

1. He may need vision/hearing testing (make sure he doesn't need glasses)
2. He may simply be bored in class. 4th grade is a difficult transition year for many kids, but it sure seems as if he's not academically challenged by what was being presented. That's no excuse for not doing work, but he may be rushing through or ignoring it since it's not challenging.

just a thought ... like others have stated, our traditional school system is not always well equipped for gifted students and those that think outside the box. they also spend a LOT of time on FCAT prep in all the elementary schools in our area (i see we are from the same area). Fight to get him tested for exceptional ed/gifted.

Good luck!!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I've been there (almost flunked out of 3rd grade). He could be deadly bored, and much of his work may seem like pointless busy-work to him. Why not escape into daydreams and inventions?

A more challenging curriculum might be just the ticket.

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

Sometimes, odd as it seems, gifted/advanced students are actually learning disabled. I am not saying he is but lots of kids can compensate in the first few grades because they are learning to read, and that's easy. When reading to learn and apply the knowledge, those connections are weak for some children. I would have him checked by an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory processing, auditory processing and have his visual processing checked by a developmental optometrist. Socially, make sure he is being accepted by peers.

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J.S.

answers from Miami on

Sounds like he's bored and needs a classroom environment that is more challenging and interesting for him. Gifted programs might be suitable, there are also different types of educational programs, magnet programs, Montessori schools, etc., which could be explored.

R.M.

answers from Tampa on

G. - make sure his hearing/vision are fine first.
The other suggestion I have is this: it sounds as if your son has enjoyed school up to this grade and learning has come really easy for him as he's loved reading etc. Often times, when our kids are eager to learn they don't have to build/develop skills that allow them to learn because they don't need them - it all comes easy to them. Now that he's hit 4th grade, a challenging year because a lot more independence is placed on him, he doesn't have any strategies or skills to maintain the expectations on him. He has never had to use them. So, it sounds like it might be a case of him learning that school is going to get more challenging and that it's okay to struggle to understand, but also teaching him how to really learn in a classroom too. Meaning, listening, following instructions, why homework is important etc. Make sense?
He's never really had to work for his grades, and now he does and he doesn't really know how to do that.
Hope this helps.
PS - before I became a stay-at-home Mom and business owner, I was a director of a learning center. We saw students like this often.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

The school should have tested him by now for a gifted class if they have one. Some do a pull out gifted program while some avtually do a class.

I agree with the mom that said it could e three things. Girls are distracting at 9 nowadays. It might be ool to not be the smartest in the class.
I would have a conference with the teacher. See what is going on at school. Has anything changed at home?

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J.K.

answers from Miami on

Being a former teacher, I think the part about him being gifted might be the right track to follow. Sometimes when kids are bored, they act out in different ways - making trouble, not doing work, etc. The teacher may be able to help as well by offering some suggestions to you based on your son's behavior. The teacher may also be able to get your son involved in some "helping" to make him feel like he can engage himself more. Giving the teacher "an assignment" might also help to pull on his/her strength to turn this situation into something positive instead of negative. IMHO.

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