Son Teasing Younger brother....Am I Overly Concerned??

I think it's normal, but should be addressed. Is it possible he is somehow jealous of his little brother? I wouldn't tolerate the behavior and think you are doing the right thing by addressing it. In addition, I would also try to talk with him and find out why he acts that way. Maybe you can take him out for ice cream (just the two of you and chat)...

I have a sibling, that when we are kids, ALWAYS teased or put me down.
What is the difference?
The malice, intended or the control or just the plain mean-ness.

Regardless, I HATED being around this sibling.
She was NOXIOUS.
It is very.... OPPRESSIVE being around a sibling like that.
REALLY.

You need to stop it.
Or it will be a VERY bad habit. It is already.
Your Eldest has to learn OTHER ways, of interacting... by NOT putting people down.

And well, sometimes the Eldest child... simply CANNOT get used to, having a younger sibling.
That eldest sibling of mine, actually told me once we became adults (and she still was treating me that way), she said she was just always jealous of me and RESENTED me and my presence in the family because now, she was not... the only "great" kid around.
AND yes, it ALSO INTERFERED in her friendships... because she treated friends, the same way. So controlling and always having to top everyone and being... first sort of thing.
Really, NOXIOUS.

Siblings, should have each other's back.
And be, a family.
I actually hated that sibling of mine... as adults now, well, she mellowed out. But it was not... easy, for me.
She was like a hammer on a nail.
Really, unpleasant.
And for NO reason.

It sounds like your older son is exercising his power over your younger son. This is normal among siblings and normal in all parts of the world. This is a great opportunity to enact consequences when this happens and to teach your older son his responsibility to care for and be a model for his younger brother.

Keep in mind that this is not a lesson learned in a day or week. But will likely be an on-going, but valuable conversation.

good luck

I have this in my house.
My 9 year old son likes to tease his 5 year old brother.
I handle it right away. I DO NOT LET IT GO. If you let it go it will only get worse.

Like D M said I think he is JEALOUS of his younger brother.

I would NOT take him out for ice cream because he will start to think that all he has to do is act up and then he will get attention and get to go do something fun ( like ice cream with mommy ).
That's like rewarding the problem.
Then the little one gets left out, and he wasn't doing anything wrong.

I think you are doing it right by talking to him and telling him how this is not ok and by taking away his DSI.

Keep up the good work mama.

Teasing is mean. I'd stop that. Arguing is different.

A sort of rule of thumb for me is if they are arguing leave them alone and give them a chance to work it out themselves. This way they can learn how to work things out. However, if someone crosses the line and belittles or crushes the other then I step in and stop it. I will do something like shut the game off altogether.

Yes, boys are kind of mean to each other. Usually they don't think they are being as mean as Mom's do. We are more sensitive. We have to recognize that and let some things go. HOWEVER, a younger child has a disadvantage and I think when you step in and give each equal time that is okay. It teaches fairness.

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It's probably a combination of several things. It's summer and they are tired of being around each other nonstop. He misses his friends his age. He is jealous of little brother. You say he is well behaved in school so I'd bet it is just the different routine of summer that is a lot of the issue. My daughter starts getting really testy and snotty with her little brother when she is missing alone time with me. I just make sure not to let her think the reason we are doing something alone is due to her bad behavior to her brother or else she'd always be mean to him! lol

He's seven so old enough to have a real conversation about his feelings. Try to get him to open up as to why he is acting this way, but if he doesn't, try not to fret too much. He is a guy after all. haha

And, of course stay consistent with discipline when he does tease little brother too much.

GL!

Hopefully it's just a phase. With my kids (especially my son, who is six), I always ask them "would you like it if someone did/said that to you?" Since it's usually something mean, they say "no" and then I say "so why would you do it to them?" Would you like it if someone took your toy without asking? Or if someone said that to you? Then don't do it to them.

Hopefully after continuously doing this with him and reinforcing it, he will get the message. Also, maybe your 7-year-old is restless because it's the summer? I know that my kids start fighting A LOT when they are bored (or tired) and I need to redirect them somewhere else. Good luck!

E.~

I would not allow it. My idea is that our home is a haven for all who live there. A child needs to be able to live without being terrorized by a sibling (older or younger). I take my children to the window sometimes and explain to them that out there unkind things are said. Things happen that are not in our control. In our home, however, everyone is entitled to live without fear of being made fun of, hurt or taken advantage of. Period. My daughter is 4.5 years older than my son. Their age difference is showing up bigger right now because she's 12 and he's soon to be 8. However there are nice ways of letting someone know you're not interested in watching a particular movie or playing a game right now and I insist both children treat each other with mutual respect. If one is not able to do that, they are invited to go to their room until they can. If it's necessary for them to spend the entire day/evening in their room, that's fine.

There's a great book called Making Brothers and Sister's Best Friends and is also on DVD I think. Sometimes it's easier to say oh, that's just the way things are because their siblings. I disagree. Your family is where you learn skills for developing relationships that will influence you the rest of your life either for the good or for the bad. I believe it is my responsibility as a parent to demonstrate what healthy relationships look like and then help them cultivate them as well. A family member, in my opinion, should receive more respect/love than a friend. I have said that to my daughter as well. If you are not capable of treating your brother with kindness then please don't ask to have friends over. Your first responsibility with relationships begin at home. When you are back on track with those, you will be able to continue with your friends.

Blessings to you as your sort through this.

L.

One of my daughter's friends used to do this. They're both only children, but when they would play together, the other child would see what my daughter wanted and then grab it. This wasn't just two-year-old behavior, but occurred when they were much older. It's finally petered out, thank goodness, because that wasn't fun for any of us. She is actually a funny, sweet little girl, but she just had that mean streak in her. I hate to label it as mean, but it sort of was. All she had to see was that someone else wanted something, and then she wanted it. As you say, the goal was to upset someone else. But it does pass, and it will pass. It truly will. And I think it helped that her mother called her on it every single time.

My kids are about the same age and similar things happen. However, I have talks with my son trying to put him in the position of the younger child and teach him the rule, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." He seems to "get" it when I ask him if that is how he would like to be treated. My son doesn't act like this all that often, but if he kept it up, I would get seriously h*** o* him and I would take away the DS and Wii or whatever for 1 or 2 weeks and I would insure that my younger child played OFTEN during that time period - so he could see what he was missing or losing out on. And, if the behavior continued after he got the toy back, I would take it away again or even permanently. I really do think you have to nip it in the bud straight away or it is only going to get worse. I also agree with another poster about the time limit - because like she says, my younger child can be manipulive as well - which I have warned my older son about. So, I have to keep a close eye on the situation.

Good luck,
L.

What you describe is what goes on in my daughter's home every day! Her son is 14 next week, her daughter is 8 the week after. It drives me nuts, but I'm just their old grandmother. I would set a time limit and say that if the older, or the younger for that matter, causes trouble, their time allowance goes to the sibling. Just make sure you judge by what you SEE and not what one of them SAYS happened. My grandson gets blamed for things that his little sister is clearly making up out of thin air. I've witnessed it! She's the little manipulator.

Well I dont have that problem YET, but I would say that it seems like most of what you are saying is going on is normal sibling interaction. Sometimes it sucks being the little one but sometimes there are perks to it. Maybe you could point out some of the personal perks that you see your youngest has and it might help him to feel better when the older one tries to bring his little brother to tears just because he can. I would try to let it slide as much as can be unless it turns into a character bashing from the older to the smaller. I know growing up it was me and my older brother by 4 years and he would pick on me like siblings always do but there were many a times that he took it too far and said things that really hurt my feelings. He would make fun of how I looked and/or how I dressed or some of the ppl I talked to ie. choice of friends and when I look back on it those are things that no one should be made fun of for but especially not by a family member
Good Luck

I have two boys 9 1/2 years apart and they are just like this... however, they also love each other... I get on my older son since he's older... I got so mad at him the other day because he was picking on his brother who was playing great with his cousin not even bothering big brother, but big brother had to ruin the mood... I don't understand it too much, yeah I picked on my sisters (had 3 of them and I was the strongest one) but I always knew when to stop, and sometimes I don't think my older son knows... There are times when the two of them play really good or the older one is showing his younger brother something. When school was in, right before bed the big on really picked on the little one. I think it runs in the family talking with my grandma who had 3 boys, my dad was the oldest and picked on his youngest brother the most.

I know you just want to scream at them sometimes. It's hard, and I got in a pattern of yelling at the oldest one, because he should know better, and now I know the younger one is sometimes to blame too. A lot of this is just being brothers. It's really normal...

(I even wrote a posting like this a year or so ago...)

Hang in there momma, hugs going out to you!!!