Support Online from Other Moms Dealing with Bipolar Husbands

Hi,

You may want to check out namigc.org, which is the Chicago chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. As a social worker, I have referred this agency to many family members of people with mental illnesses. They have a support group you could check out. Best of luck.

Natasha

N.:

A great web site is http://www.dbsalliance.org. It has all kinds of informative articles and even lighter stuff like bipolar celebrities and famous bipolar people through history. When you first get the diagnosis it is really scary because it makes it seem like it will never change and/or get worse. It takes time to digest the information and counseling really helps this. This web site helped me feel better in lots of ways, and worse and more scared in others (it profiles some with much more extreme cases). But there is so much great new medicine available now that knowing is way better than not. Get him on medication right away but get lots of emotional support for yourself and for him (which may be different people). If the medication does not work, tell your doctor and they will try something else.

My husband is also Bipolar (2) and was diagnosed for the first time when our daughter was 9 months old. Life events, like the birth of a child can sometines bring problems like these to the forefront. He started taking medication in a deep depression (Depakote and Paxil). It took weeks to work, which was agony, because he didn't want to take it (because it was a persistent reminder that something was permanently wrong with him which was in itself a depressing thought). But I gave him lots of extra love (which wasn't easy) and made him take it. When it finally kicked in he got somewhat manic and stayed that way for months, which he loved but was harder on me than the depression. We increased his Depakote and he finally eased up. He has been stable ever since (1.5 years). He is so glad to feel good and not get depressed that he takes his meds every day. He gained no weight, lost no hair (he takes a Centrum Silver vitamin every day to help this), is as smart as ever, and now enjoys the job he used to blame his depression on. He is still very much himself, complete with variation of mood and some temper tantrums, but the big long lasting mood swings are gone and he has a lot more confidence planning for the future because he no longer fears slipping down a depression hole. He is not a drooling drugged-up zombie!

I realize I have way too much to say about this. After his diagnosis, his sister and twin bro got diagnosed too. If you want to talk with me, email me back and I will give you my phone number. Hang in there! The first year is the hardest but there is lots of hope.

S.

N.,

I do not share this same issue, but I wanted to let you know that bipolar IS treatable and that people who suffer from bipolar can be symptom free with appropriate treatment and support. I have known people with bipolar disorder who struggled for years taking medications that did not work, and finally found the right psychiatrist who found the right combination of medications that worked. There isn't one right way to treat bipolar, it often differs between individuals. I encourage you to stick with it and allow your husband to not only respond to the correct medications, but remit so that you can communicate with the man you thought you married. This could take a while, but it is probably worth the sacrifice.

N.:

I cannot begin to express how I felt after reading your story. I was in that situation also about three years ago. It lasted three years. We also had a child together. Unfortunately, it did not workout. He ended up leaving us. I never knew why. Never saw him again. It was so bad that I needed to get counseling because of all his lies and episodes. He could easily make up a story and I beleive it for about two years until things got worse. He could not hold up a job. Because of his anger, I was afraid of him. That situation brought me down. I hope there is some sort of treatment he can get before you end up like I did. I hate the fact that he left us. That was the only good thing he could ever do. I am currently with someone else. We are on our second child together and he treats my first child as his own.

Good luck to you. Know that I know how your pain feels.

bg

Please please tell me more about how your husband was diagnosed, where and who he sees, what his treatment is... etc? This sounds so much like my husband, and I have known him ten years and he kind of cycles through ups and downs, although usually downs. I have wondered if it is depression, but now that you mention some of the other things I wonder if that is what it is? It affects our family, home and our rrelationship a lot. Will you please tell me more about what other symptoms/behaviors would be considered part of the disorder? Since he was diagnosed, has there been improvement?

Thanks, A.