As I turned the corner to run up my sidewalk after a 6:00 am hour run I was shocked to see my 5 year old sitting criss crossed apple sauce in the middle of my sidewalk playing with the snails. I wanted to cry and scream at the same time, but instead I say honey what are you doing out in the front yard at 7:00 AM? He said he was waiting for me to come home from my run. I asked him why he was not sleeping or in the house with my sister (who was spending the night with me because my husband is out of town for the week)and he said he wanted to see me. I calmly told him that It is not ok for him to be outside without an adult, he scared me and from now on he can watch for me to come home by sitting inside the house on the sofa and look out the window. He started saying mommy I am ok. No one saw me. I am old enough (he just turned 5 last week) to be outside by myself. Reality set in and not only do I have to deal with the fact that my son will be going to Kindergarten in just a few weeks (which up to that point I felt it would not be a big deal), but I need to teach my son who is so friendly and has a passion for talking with people that he needs to be safe, cautious, and can not talk to strangers, etc.
My am seeking advise on how to begin this journey with my son. I am searching for the words, books, DVD's, any and all advise to help guide myself and my husband on how to teach my child with out breaking his sprit or making him afraid. I appreciate any and all help!
Thank you all so very much for you comments, suggestions, and advise! I feel much better. I went on Amazon and bought the suggested books and video's. We do have top latches on all of our doors, but I unlatched it to go out to run, so now I am exiting out my office door. We now have a new routine and a password. I guess this was the best time to start this discussion prior to Kindergarten. I am very thankfull for this community of women!
One thing I remember from growing up was my parents and I had a 'password'. I was not to go with anyone unless they told me the 'password'. I know of other parents who have used this too with their children. You might want to give it a try too.
There is a video made by John Walsh and the lady that created "Little Einsteins" that is so great. It is called Stranger Safety. (http://www.amazon.com/Stranger-Safety-Angela-Shelton/dp/B.... I found it on Amazon but I am sure that it is sold elsewhere. Anyway great video, but you may want to watch it before you show it to your children and be sure to watch it with them. My kids love it, but it does go over a lot of information that may need some reassurance from Mom and Dad. It helped me learn a lot too! We have been watching it with both our children (3 & 5) for the last year or so. Seems like a pretty harsh video until you watch the news and see another child missing...Hope this helps, T.
T.,
As a Mom who also goes out for a run or to the gym early in the morning I understand how you feel. However, have two seperate issues here, one is to make sure your 5 and 2 year old can't get out of the house w/out an adult knowing. Please make that a priority first. If my kids got out, I wouldn't worry so much about someone bad picking them up as I would about them being hit by a car. My kids are 5 and 3. The only way out to the front at my home is the front door, we have a latch that the kids can't reach so they cannot open the front door w/out an adult. So, get a latch or whatever you need to keep your little guy inside and talk to him about not going outside w/out an adult.
Secondary is your "stranger danger" talk, my daughters preschool did a really good segment on this but way before preschool, I'd say around the time she was 2 we got the DVD Safe Side Super Chick, it was created by John Walsh (Adam Walsh's Dad) and the Mom who created Baby Einstein. It is a fun animated video on teaching kids how to stay safe. Remember - it is usually a family member or friend that hurts a child and not a "stranger" that is why most tools these days prefer us not to tell our kids to watch out for strangers. But rather use other language, like in this video's case, "Don't Knows", "Kinda Knows", and "safe side adult" I feel both my kids have this video hammered in to their heads/memory, and they do well when we roll play but make no mistake, they are young/naive/innocent, all the training I've done might go out the window when a nice woman or man approaches them w/a puppy and asks them to go to their car. I would hope they wouldn't go. All I can do now is not put them in that situation, when we are at the park or any public place, my eyes aren't off of them.
**added: I just looked at my video - I didn't know it was called Stranger Safety! LOL, I had it in my mind that they didn't use that word. Anyway, it's Safe Side Superchick in Stranger Safety by Julie Clark and John Walsh. It's a MUST HAVE!!!! You can get it a Amazon.com
Hope this helps,
M.
I agree with someone else's response, get the Stranger Safety DVD, it is AWESOME! My son watches it every so often. He loves it and so do I of course, because of what it is teaching him! According to the DVD cover, it looks like it won video of the year award. You can probably find it online. Good luck to you!
Enroll him into a self defense/karate class. it is the best thing to help teach your child self defense not only against strangers but also how to handle bullies and teasing in school. It was the best thing I ever did.
I think it is wonderful that you are being proactive about your child's safety. I strongly recommend this service that I used to protect my kids from any harm. I was scanning through a few blogs and found this article on a Safety Service for my children. It seemed interesting so I checked it out on Facebook and actually got 15 days free. Here's the article: http://anationofmoms.com/2011/08/protect-your-family-give...
Hi T., your son sounds very smart. My kids are grown, so I don't remember exactly how I taught them about strangers, but what I do remember telling them, is a person you see, that has never been in our home, thats a stranger, It's hard T., becasue the first day of school or even oreintation, the teacher is a stranger, until they were really old enought to understand the concept between a stranger walking downthe side apoosed to a teacher, or someone of authroity, I drove them to school and picked them up afterwards, I had 3 close to together so when they got older they could walk to school together, which was right around the corner from our house. I told my kids no one touches you, except a doctor and only if my and/or dad are with you, I was a paranoind mom when my kids were little. My youngest is 19 and she walks to the bus stop to catch the bus for colege, the stop is around the corner by the elementry school where my kids went, and I still tell her every morning to be careful and to always be aware of her surroundings. The things the DVD's show is pedifiles asking kids to help find their dog ortheir kitten, something kids care about,so make sure you tell your son if some one like that does approach him, then run and scream, I know it will be hard to always be with him when he is not at home, but at least you'll know he is safe, I was lways early to pick up my kids from school, I never wanted them just standing around wating, to much can happen in tht time frame. I know you said you dont want to scare him, but you know honestly I would rather my kids be a little scared and safe other than a boulivieas to what is going on around them. J.
Other's suggestions about making sure your children cannot leave is the best idea. Kids are not very good at taking responsibility for their own safety. You can try the books and videos but I would not rely on they if I was you. My son was ten when I left him alone to go to the store for a few miniutes. I came home to find the front door wide open. He hadn't even bothered to close the door after he'd opened it to a complete stranger selling something. I told him literaly 100s of times for more than 5 years to never ever open the door to a stranger. I told him right before I left that very day. Nothing. Not even all that could make a lasting impression. I am not sure that fear messages can really make much difference to kids. Frighten them yes, but cause them to remember when they want to do something else? probably not. You have to know too that only a small pecentage of those children who are abducted are taken by someone unknown to them. Most abducted children are taken by someone they know. As far as safety goes, it may be a better use of your time to teach your child how to get help if he gets lost, or someone takes him. Good luck.
Hi
I read my son a great book about strangers from the berenstain bears series called "learn about Strangers"
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0394873343?ie=UTF8&t...
You should be able to find it at your local book store, or on amazon. It is good, without being too scary. I also advise putting a top latch high up on your door so your son cannot get outside without you.
Good luck
