Tummy or Back

Updated on May 06, 2008
A.M. asks from Seal Beach, CA
83 answers

I am a first time mom of a 3 week old boy. He sleeps well, generally 2 1/2 hours to 3 hours at a time. He HATES sleeping in his bassinett at night, which my husband and I keep next to our bed. He doesn't mind it during the day. So my husband and I have been letting him sleep on our chests with us. We both SWORE we would NEVER let this happen however, we all love that bond. Over the last few days I have been having our son sleep in his own room in his crib for naps only. I place him on his tummy since he enjoys that more. When my husband or I have placed him on his back he HATES it! I know what the concerns of having an infant sleep on their tummies however, what if your baby just won't sleep on his back? I have the incline and that doesn't help him either. What to do? Your advice is appreciated.

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O.K.

answers from Santa Barbara on

my 2 month old was the same. I split the difference and put her on her side in the incline, now she is good with back sleep.

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello,

Have you tried putting him on his side? I am sorry I don't know what they are called but they have the "positioners" that you and lay them in. they are soft cushins that hold the baby into place. They work really good. I have 3 kids, the youngest is 10months, and I have used it for all of them. My little guys sleeps in bed with me too! I can't help it. I love to know he is right there cuddling with me. Well I hope this may help.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Both of my boys were exactly the same way! My oldest did a little better sleeping on his side, but they say that is not much safer then sleeping on the tummy. I slept with my second son on my chest for a couple of months pretty regularly. I would always try to put him in the bassinett, but he didn't sleep as well. Don't worry too much about sleeping with him. When it comes to sleeping routines, many experts say you can't spoil them until about 3 months old. I struggled with the tummy thing as well. It scared me to death so, I let him sleep for a little bit on his tummy while I could watch him and then when he was in a deeper sleep, I would roll him over. Swaddling helps too, so they don't startle themselves while on their back by their arms waving everywhere. Another thing that worked for me when he was so little, and not moving, was to let him sleep in his car seat, it made him feel more "cuddled". A boucer seat or a swing is also good. Good luck and congrats!

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A. -

Congratulations on your new baby! I also had a very opinionated little one, who as soon as she was physically able, would turn herself over onto her tummy. She would really let us know, from a very early time, what worked for her and what didn't. We also did the chest sleeping thing and oh, it was lovely. But alone, it is a different matter and you want to be able to relax and not worry while your baby is napping by himself.

Have you tried having him on his side? You can use a bolster in front of him (away from his little face) to keep him from rolling onto his tummy. I used to put my baby on her side, with her back close to the wall of the bassinette, or if on the bed, I'd have a bolster at her back as well. A tightly rolled up towel will suffice while the baby is so young -- he can't busy himself with unrolling it and accidentally cover himself. As he gets more dextrous, you would want something like a small neckroll pillow. There are side sleeper things you can buy from catalogs and probably from that store that seems to be in all the malls (is is Right Start?) I can't remember what it's called -- my daughter is 8 now and those days are far behind me!

Hope that helps! All the best,
Colleen

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

can you stand one more answer. i also let all my babies sleep on their tummies. all nine of them! i raised the mattress a little on one side so there was an incline, and they slept on their sides and tummies. (i alternated) i checked them alot when all that info about sids came out but other than that, they were tummy sleepers. i worried more when they were on their backs because what if they spit up?? where would it go. felt safer to have them on their sides and tummies.
anyway, that;s my two cents worth!
dee dee

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there,

I use to work at a child develpment center last year and they recommend that an infant should sleep on their back. However, if the child rolls over onto the tummy then it's okay just make sure that you check on them making sure that their airway isn't restricted. Since your child is just a few weeks old just continue to put him on his back even if he cries...eventually he will get use to the idea that they have to sleep on their back and if your baby rolls onto tummy then just let your baby sleep. With my son, I laid him on his side and put a wedge in front of his belly so that he wouldn't roll on his tummy. Good luck to you and congrats!

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T.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A. and Congratulations! The fun begins now. Doctors & evryone will tell you their recommendations on how to let babies sleep - however, the school of thought changes - often! When I was 11 I became an aunt. At that time (1981) the professionals said, babies should sleep on their tummy. By the time I had a child (1994) it was side sleeping (with a wedge). The second time it was side or back (1996) and lastly, the told me back was best (12/2000). The point is, in each case, the babies still had a preference and it didn't necessarily coincide with the recommendations of the time and the recommendations at the time, change. Ultimately, their are good arguements for each position and therefore, you can conclude - they are all correct. If your son has already shown you that he loves his tummy - then, he wants that. Keep the monitor going in the crib and please, don't give in to the sleeping with you - you will be sorry for it soon enough. I know he is new and adorable and you want every moment to be with him, but in a few months, you will want your sleep. In a few years, you will want your sleep too! He won't want to sleep alone at night. And, if you have more children, he will only get confused over who you love more, then, you will be sleeping four in a bed. I know you don't want that. You are doing great and your son is very smart to already know which way he likes to sleep! Blessings to you!

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J.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A., what about letting him sleep in a swing? He may seem like he hates it @ first but give him a chance-also, swaddling should help him sleep as sleeping on his tummy @ that age is really a little scary-he does not have the strength in his neck to lift his head if he needs to which is why they tell you to have them sleep on their back. Bottom line you should speak w/your dr and not keep him on his back right now unless you are watching him.

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S.F.

answers from San Diego on

This sounds so familiar. Oh you were me 4 years ago. Yes, eventually your baby will sleep in his crib! He is getting use to being on the "outside." Keep doing what your doing. Eventually your little guy is going to roll on his own from his back to his tummy to sleep. If it gives you comfort buy one of those monitors that sense if the baby stops breathing. We had an angel care from Babys R Us. I bet someone is selling one on Craigs list. Your doing fine. Enjoy your bundle of joy.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is a monitor called Angel Care Bebe Sounds that detects after a few seconds if the baby is not breathing or if someone picks the baby without turning off the monitor. You place the board (comes w/ the monitor) under the crib mattress and it blinks everytime the baby moves and breathes. You can purchase at Babies R Us or Baby Depot.
Good Luck.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,
Try swaddling your baby in a blanket like he was in the maternity ward. Make sure he is swaddled tightly and that his arms are by his sides before wrapping. Then put him on his back in the bassinet on his sleep positioner so he can't roll onto his belly. The swaddling helps make babies feel secure and safe and it will help him sleep as well as prevent him from rolling over. Make sure he is well burped after feeding before placing him on his back. If he has reflux, hold him upright after feeding for 1/2 hr before placing him on his back to sleep. He will get use to it. My G/G twins did.

I also recommend buying the Fisher Price Aquarium swing. My girls slept in it from birth-6 months while sometimes sleeping in their bassinet too. The swing is slightly inclined also and has different settings for gentle rocking and music/white noise/ocean waves. etc., and a mobile and lights that change color. I would swaddle them and then put them in the swing...they were out like a light snoozing away. There is a belt and a tray you can put on so your baby won't fall out.

Good luck,
E.

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S.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

I also let my daughter sleep on her tummy when it became very clear that she was most comfortable that way. I worried about it until my pediatrician (with like 40 years of experience) pointed out to me that over the years that parenting advice is constantly changing and if you listen to all of it you'd drive yourself nuts. So go with what works and as long as you're not putting a soft blanket or stuffed animals in with him, I wouldn't worry a bit.

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K.G.

answers from Reno on

When my daughters were born, they told us always lay your baby on it's side or tummy as it would reduce SIDS. When our 4 yr old was born, 25 years later, they said to always have them sleep on his back due to a reduction in SIDS. I personally feel that whatever position your child will sleep in best is the one you should use. Personally, I felt safer when our 4 yr old was on his side or tummy as I felt that if he spit up it would just drain out of his mouth, but if he was on his back it would have no where to go but back down his throat, either into his lungs or tummy. I checked on my children regularly throughout the night, sometimes even sleeping with my hand under their mouths in case they did vomit. It sounds like your little one is a champion sleeper! Congratulations on your new addition to your family. Let him sleep on his tummy. It is where he rests best and I firmly believe that even the newest little ones quickly learn what they like and don't like.

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E.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

You need to be very careful when placing the baby on his tummy. Make sure you only do it during supervison. I would not recommend you sleep with the baby on you. There have been so many reports of parents crushing their babies because they fell asleep. Let him cry for a little bit. He will eventually fall asleep. I know they say it is too early to create bad habits but just think of him at 50 pounds sleeping on you. Not a very good idea... I have a 4 month old. I bought the body guard sleeper pillows. I like placing my daughter on her side. The guards prevent her from moving so you dont have to worry about her sufficating. I also have a 2 year old son who sleeps with mommy and daddy. I vowed not to let him sleep with us but it did not quite happen that way. Now I cant get him off our bed. So my biggest recommendation is to let him cry now. He will get use to it, which will save you in the long run.

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C.B.

answers from Reno on

Hi A.,
Babies who sleep on their tummies have a 12.9 time higher risk of dying from SIDS because they have higher levels of carbon dioxide as they rebreathe exhaled air and they also get hotter... another trigger for apnea. It is worth persevering with back sleep. Most pediatricians will tell you that tummy sleep is not an option. My friend Nicola and I struggled horribly at bed time and we invented the Guardian Sleeper to help allow safe sound sleep for babies at night. Check out www.guardian-sleeper.com and read the info on SIDS. There are a number of links that should give you lots of useful information.
C. :-)

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J.W.

answers from San Diego on

I know the feeling you're going through of being torn between what we're told by pediatricians and things in the media about SIDS. Both my children slept better while on their tummy or when I propped them on their side withe rolled up blankets such as someone else here already mentioned. I did this for naps, in the bassinett and it worked beautifully. Nothing wears a mom out more than getting a baby to sleep only to have them wake up again because they don't like the feeling of being on their back, and you start all over again.

Many more moms than you'll ever know come up with another solution other than putting baby to sleep on their back, they just don't tell you. Because there will always be that mom who hasn't faced the problem you're in the midst of and she will ademently state her opinion about how a baby is supposed to be cared for in whatever the topic and the moms who have done what is "wrong" will not want to speak up. Same goes for babies sleeping through the night, pacifiers, toilet training, etc...

Some info that was shared with me by my best friend helped me feel better about my decision (well, that and the fact that they were already past the age of concern 0-6 months for SIDS and were both fine)... She had done some researching on the internet and found an article that discussed another theory about SIDS source that cannot really be traced. I did not save the article otherwise I would post the link. Perhaps you can google some of the info after reading this. SIDS increased dramatically after fire retardant was mandated to be used on crib mattresses and when a baby's saliva seeps through the sheet another chemical reaction creates a gas that affects babies because their nose/mouth is so close to the mattress the smaller they are when on tummy and this gas can be fatal. The tips recommended in the article were to not have a second hand mattress for your baby's crib because the more use it has had the greater risk. I think it also mentioned double up on the fitted mattress sheet. The article was very very very long and I began skimming it rather than reading full details but I think it also mentioned something about this problem not being present when baby sleeps in mom/dad's bed, but I'm not positive.

Another point my friend made is that her aunt is a physical therapist and they are finding babies tend to crawl later and develop mobility later in part due to this sleeping on their backs because how a baby begins to build their muscles is from the core which is why tummy time is advocated, and when baby wakes up from sleeping they get that practice of strengthening those muscles when waking from tummy. Perhaps it is because they slept on their tummy that my daughter crawled at 7 months and walked at 9 months and my son crawled at 5 1/2 months and walked at 8 1/2 months.

Whatever you decide to do be at peace with it so long as your decision is based on as much info as you could gather. Also know there are a lot of people who cosleep even after the article about a year or two ago came out stating that it created a risk for SIDS. Most research has unknown biases, even by the researchers themselves, sometimes they forget that if they are trying to prove a theory that some variables may come into play (from an unconscious level))that bias the results.

Congratulations on your baby boy!

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is he swaddled when he sleeps? Usually babies don't like being on their backs because they startle more which wakes them up. Swaddling will help with that. I swear by the Miracle Blankets. It's almost impossible for them to wiggle out if wrapped tight enough. They're a little pricey ($30) but you can get by with just one & they are worth their weight in gold. They have a website you can order from.
Tummy sleeping is just not safe at this age, period. It's not worth the risk. Think seriously about how you would feel if something were to happen. A few more hours sleep is just not worth it as far as I'm concerned. A close family friend lost her baby girl to SIDS 10 years ago, so this subject is very real to me.
-C.

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J.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

Congratulations on your new baby! I had trouble with my first with sleeping on her back. She would jerk & wake up often. A swaddle me blanket was recommended and it worked so well that when I had my second, I took it to the hospital with me. My second baby loved it from birth. It is what I include in any newborn gift from our family. If it gets hot, just dress your little one in a onesie. The wraps I had were light weight cotton. http://www.slumbersounds.com/swaddle-newborn-wrap.htm

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D.P.

answers from San Diego on

When I had my children who are now 33, 32,and 24, you were suppose to lay them on their stomach. That way if they spit up they won't be choking on it.
It just seems they sleep better and feel more secure when their arms and legs can't flail around.
Just as long as they are on a firm matress where nothing can suffocate them. My whole generation grew up on our belly's, and a whole generation can't be wrong!
One thing though, I never let my children sleep with us. As soon as they were through feeding I put them back in their own bed. I know how wonderful it is to have them next to you, but I think that is more of a danger than placing them on their stomachs, and it's harder for them to get used to being in their own room and bed later!

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there,
Congrats on your new baby!! Does he sleep with a pacifier? If you are concerned with SIDS then a pacifier has been known to help prevent that. Do you swaddle him?
I think if you just be consistant with putting him in the crib, he will adjust and in time will learn to be comfortable in it. Yes, he will cry.....but he will eventually fall asleep.
Good luck!

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D.T.

answers from San Francisco on

A.,
I think SIDS is caused by babies inhaling the toxic flame retardants on crib mattresses, rather than having immature respiratory systems. Flame retardants are made up of arsenic and boric acid (roach killer). If you got an organic crib or bassinet mattress you would be more comfortable letting your baby sleep on his tummy. If you want to place on back or side, use a positioner. Or swaddle. Your baby is SO young still. He wants to be with you, part of you. Keep sleeping with him - on you, or next to you. Feeling and hearing your breathing rhythms prevents SIDS too. I wouldn't put such a young baby off in his own room except for naps during the day. Keep him close at night!
And congratulations!!
D.

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T.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

A.,
This is going to sound just awful coming from a RN, but according to my mother I would not sleep if I was not on my stomach. In fact, every picture of me asleep I was on my stomach. I am 36 years old (today) and never died of SIDS. So, my thought is if you make sure Michael's cribs sheets are tight on the bed, no blankets, toys, or clothing is in his crib he will probably be fine. I would check him frequently to make sure he is okay.
Good luck to you.
T.

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A....

Do you have a swing??? That is soothing to babies for the first few months, and it really is okay if they sleep there! You might try laying your son on his side, with his back propped up against a rolled up blanket. Best wishes!

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.-
I know exactly what you are going through. I am still dealing with it and my son, Drew, is 3 months old. It has been a battle of sleep. The only way I get more than 3 hours at a time is if Drew is on my chest and/or in my or my husband's arms. He does not like to be on his back for long period of time. He does nap on his tummy while I keep an eye on him. I have talked to others and they say that some babies are just tummy sleepers and it is actually OK, especially when tbey can turn their head from side to side on their own.
I know that each day this goes on, weeks for that matter, it will be harder to break him of this habit. There comes a time, though, when you will do what you can to get some sleep. Also, I am nursing, so by the time my son is done I am so tired I fall alseep with him on my chest waiting for him to burp. I also have a 2 1/2 year old, so sleep is few and far between these days. My daughter was so easy, but I guess you can't be blessed with two easy ones!!! If you find something magical that works let me know too!
M.

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C.S.

answers from San Diego on

Dear A.,
Is it a SIDS issue?
I have a very well developed 25 year old (beautiful!) Son.
He was 6 and 1/2 weeks pre-mature. There was a worry about SIDS. But, I put him on his tummy to sleep. Always! He slept
real well that way! "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!!"
Your baby will be fine! And,it sounds as though that baby is in GOOD hands!!
Yours and your husbands concerns are valid! 25 years ago, we
didn't hear about putting a child on their backs! It wasn't
done.
Good Luck and Enjoy That Baby! It goes SOOOOOOOOOOO fast!
C. S.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Congrats on the little one. I would not put him on his tummy in the crib because of SIDs, when' he's on your chest it's different because he feels you breathing which will make him breath. In a crib he doesn't get that. so my suggestion is put him on his side. My daughter doesn't like sleeping on her back either and her side is perfect. Good Luck

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M.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,
You've gotten a mountain of requests, and after reading just a few, I thought I'd add a little.
First off, I can completely understand letting your beautiful son sleep with you and all the loving bonding that is going on. I am a big believer in Attachment Parenting, which includes having the baby sleep with you. My son slept with us at night, and moved on to sleep in his own bed later, with no problems whatsoever. The first year of life for a baby is about wanting to feel safe in the world and to know that their needs are being met. Just because he sleeps with you now does not mean you won't get him out of your bed. Dr. William Sears has some wonderful books on this and many other subjects. There is The Baby Book and I think he might have one called Attachment Parenting, or else the topic is part of the Baby Book. He has lots of great information on a very wide range of topics - sleeping, health, discipline, etc, all from a very loving philosophy.
I do have one thought regarding the tummy sleeping - perhaps your baby likes it so much partially because that is how he sleeps on top of you. What if you were to try adjusting his position when he sleeps with you? I used to have my son sleep on his back right next to me, like under my armpit, with my arm around him. We were close together, he was near my heart, plus, I couldn't roll over, and to me, he seemed protected.

One side note on baby sleeping: America is one of the few countries where babies do not automatically sleep with their mothers. The more natural bonding process is to sleep together.

It sounds like you have great instincts with your baby. There will be a lot of people trying to tell you the "right" thing. I would personally make a point of connecting with resources -whether friends, family, groups, or authors, who have a similar philosophy to yours about how you want to be with your child, and then take information from there. For me, since I could never know if what I was doing was going to be the "perfect" choice, I just focused on making the best choices that I could, and if in doubt, to always, always err on the side of doing what felt most loving for my child.
All the best to you!
M.

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S.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi. My name is S., I am a twenty-one-year-old mother of two (4-year-old girl and 2-year-old boy) and pregnant with my third! I am also number five of seven kids!
I, as well as my six siblings and my own two, were tummy sleepers. My son, especially, would not sleep on his back. One time I had woken him from a nap and laid him on his back for a diaper change, he just flipped right back over and fell back to sleep!
Babies know what they like. If your son chooses to sleep on his tummy, my advice is let him do so. As for the concern about SIDS, use sleepers instead of blankets and keep an eye on him every now and then. Being a mother, I know it's harder to take your eyes off!
Congratulations and Enjoy!!

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S.O.

answers from San Diego on

My son totally preferred to sleep on his tummy too. I kept putting him down on his back and by 3 months he could flip himself over to his tummy. Before that he would cry until we flipped him over. Some kids are just that way.

I would just make sure to keep his crib or bassinett free from anything that could potentially be a choking hazard until your son gets older and has better head control. I.e., extra blankets and even the crib bumper for now. I used to just put my son in a onesie and socks and then put him in one of those lightweight sleep sacks during the summer months. You can get them at Target or BRU.

Maybe you could also try that pillow thing that has baby sleeping on his side instead of the elevator pillow that you have.

Welcome to parenthood and all the joys and worries that come with it :). Congratulations on your new son!

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A.T.

answers from San Diego on

I think the only reason why pedi's say sleep on back is to reduce the risk of sids. Im a 27 y/o 1st time mom to a baby boy (he's 2 months almost) and he hated sleeping on his back to. We actually found out it was because of gas :) Now he actually preferred to spread himself out while he's sleeping and while he's cat napping he sleeps on wither me or my husband (we swore tooo)
have you tried baby gasx? we use little tummies (seems to taste better to him)

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L.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,
Try Putting your little on his side. Prop him slightly with a rolled blanket.........if he is not loving that then if putting him on his tummy makes him sleep better than do that. Do what makes him happy but just be aware . I have an 8 1/2 month old and she loved her tummy. Now that she is older she is loving her back.
If you can help it.....do not let him sleep on your chest. You will create a monster habit in the near future......P.s. Swaddle, Swaddle, Swaddle.....a must, must, must for babies!!

Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from Reno on

NEVER let a newborn sleep on his tummy, unless you are prepared to stay up 24 hours a day to watch him sleep. He doesn't know any better whether he's sleeping on his tummy or back, so you have to teach him that he needs to sleep on his back. If you put him down on his back every single time, he'll get used to it. Enjoy motherhood. It's the best thing in the world!!! :)

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A.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had the same exact situation!!!! My son would only sleep on my chest, that lasted 2 1/2 months, until I couldn't take it anymore and had to get some comfortable sleep. He also wouldn't sleep on his back. We tried everything including the inclines and pillows. We finally gave up and let him sleep on his tummy. At first we didn't sleep, we just watched him to make sure he was fine and not suffocating. We finally got over it and he is just fine. The only thing is you have to make sure that there are not blankets or stuffed animals near his face. He'll be just fine.

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R.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, congratulations, you can't imagine what it's like until you have that baby in your arms. I would like to gently encourage you to teach your baby to sleep on his back. I have been told numerous times about SIDS, and until your baby physically turns on his tummy, he's not ready. Also, I have a family member who is a medical examiner, and he has had cases where parents, accidentally, smother their babies. Please be careful about baby in your bed, unless it's an attachment to your bed, but for you and your husband's sake, it's better if baby gets used to own sleeping space. Lastly, babies have a mechanism that triggers when their legs are not wrapped up properly. When you wrap him up for nap/bed, have his legs up a little (like in utero), and when he sleeps and he naturally flinches his legs, he won't wake up as much if they are secure in the blanket. Again, congratulations and happy sleeping! :)

I.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried putting him to sleep on his side? there are these foam pads that support him, while sleeping on his side. Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi A. - i had the same problem w/my little girl (2 months). i told the ped about it & she said "put her on her back! she will get used to it"....i hemmed & hawed, but THEN she said something i will NEVER forget. she said "if something happens to her, you will NEVER FORGIVE yourself" - and that stuck with me. so, my husband & i have put her on her back with a little modification. we have a corn filled heating pad (or you can ice it). since we knew that she liked the closeness that being on her tummy/chest against us, we heat it up (not too hot), put her on her back, and drape it across her belly. she LOVES it! this way, she is safely on her back, has warmth, and has a bit of weight on her. works like a charm!

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O.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A., I'm O., mother of now 8 year old son. My son as well refused to sleep on his back. He was a big baby too, and I also had the incline thing as well and he didn't like that either. I always had him in his crib, but because I breastfed, and pumped when he wasn't hungry every 3 hours, I would check on him, and remove all blankets and pillows from his crib, and just covered him with a little recieving blanket, which most of the time he kicked off, and he did fine. I freaked out the first night he slept all the way thru because I thought the worse, but he was just comfortably sleeping on his stomach and didn't wake for his usual feeding at 3 am, so, I think it's instinct on a new mother especially, to just get up and check on him every few hours or so just to make sure he's ok. His crib was in my room for the 1st year 1/2 though, which was easier for me to jump right up. I personally think he should be fine on his stomach. Like I said I removed everything from the crib so nothing could possibly suffocate him, and he was fine. Take Care & Best of Luck!

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S.R.

answers from San Diego on

Hi A.

We had a tummy sleeper too and i had many sleepless nights checking on her! We finally found this little vibrater thing-a-ma-gig that attached to her bassinett. it worked like a charm. I think i got it at target...let me know if you cant find it and i'll look thru my baby stuff for it!

Good Luck!

Sleep is very over rated! :-D

S.
www.workathomeunited.com/betterforyou

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J.G.

answers from San Diego on

I had the same situation with my first child who is now 10 yrs. old She slept on my chest because we all just needed to sleep anyway we could. She hated sleeping on her back and I must admit I did let her sleep on her tummy. I made sure there were no blankets in her bed and the room was well ventilated. I know everyone has to decide what is right for them on that issue. At about 3-4 months she was in her own crib for the most part. Just enjoy the bonding right now because it pays off. At 10 years old my daughter still hugs me every morning when she wakes up and I still give her a big hug and tuck her in at night! Congrats on the new baby!

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had the same problem. I had a lot of sleepness nights concerned for her breathing. I bought a pad that you put under the crib with a sensor if the baby should stop breathing. it gave off so many false alarms. I would let my daughter fall asleep on her tummy and once she was sound . . . I would turn her on her back. This did not work. finally I just put her swing next to our bed. the cradle position worked fine.

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D.B.

answers from San Diego on

Have you tried placing him on his side? My son was the exact same way and we did the exact same thing (let him sleep on our chests) until he got too heavy :) We found our son really like sleeping on his side, you can roll up a couple blankets and place one behind his back so he doesn't flop over....or use a positioner (we never did)...it seemed to work pretty well for us...GOOD LUCK and congrats!

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.

Both my children were the same! And I did the sleeping on my chest thing with both of them, and LOVED it! My husband always worried that I was going to roll over and drop them, or roll onto them, or fall asleep and drop them, but it never happened.

My children also slept better on their tummies, but due to the risk of cot death when you put babies on their tummies, I never let them sleep that way for long periods of time... maybe next to me on the sofa for a while or something. My mother told me that when we were children (I'm 34) they were told that babies SHOULD sleep on their tummies! Don't things change!

Anyway, I believe that one of the reasons that children like sleeping on their tummies is because they feel 'abandoned' and insecure when they are on their backs, because there is nothing against them. With this in mind, I got a piece of silk (becuase it's so thin) and rested it next to her face (both children). It gave her something to snuggle (rather than my neck sadly!) and it really helped.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.
C. x

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

my son hated the incline thing too. It was a waste of money. I lay him on his tommy during the day (because he likes it more and will sleep longer). at night he stays on his back after he falls asleep.

If you stop letting him sleep on you longer than a few minutes... your son will soon get the point.

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

The tummy is a hard one, but he is too little to turn over if he cant breathe. I did the swaddeling thing they did in the hospital and that worked for me. Wrap him up securely and see if that works.

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D.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear A.. Congratulations on your new baby.
My suggestion to your question is very simple, if your baby doesn't like to sleep on his back, try purchasing a side sleeper, they sell these at any Targe or Babies R Us. This is basically a small mat with a side wedge, you lay the baby on the mat area and the wedge supports the baby from turning. this way they sleep on their side. Having the baby sleep on their tummy is not so much of a good idea because of SIDS, even if he's only napping for a few minutes. Try it, and perhaps you & your husband can get a break on your chests and have the bed all to yourselves... :)
thanks

D.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know you don't need this, but PLEASE be very careful...look at the statistics. They are on The American Pediatrics web site. Its scary to see it.

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T.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's nerve racking with all the hype out there. My daughter was the same loved her tummy. I put her to sleep on her tummy for naps, because I could keep an eye on her. At night she slept at an incline on her back for 3 mths and then I finally gave up and I let her sleep on her tummy. I prayed evey night and every morning there she was a happy little camper. I would say if you don't have issues for naps he'll be just fine during the night. My doctor also reassured me she'd be fine. Soon he'll start rolling over and he'll be on his tummy anyway.
If it's really nerve racking there are sleep positioners and try on an incline or on his side.
Good luck

T. H

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Check with your pediatrician. Also, my son had gas and some reflux and we had to keep him close to upright to help him sleep. We had him in his car seat in the co-sleeper! It helped immensely. Good luck

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J.P.

answers from San Francisco on

without reading all of your responses, i'm not sure if what i have to say has already been said. sorry if it has. my now 1 year old also hated sleeping on her back. our solution was side sleeping...and she still sleeps like this most nights. the drs said this was fine as long as you place rolled blankets on either side to ensure she did not roll to her stomache in the middle of the night. i bought the "snuggle nest" at babies r us....i LOVED it. a little pricy, but worth it if they like it. she slept in it for months. it inclines them, has adjustable sides to ensure no roll overs...and you can put it right in the crib so it makes that big crib seem smaller for them when they are so small! we also used it in the center of our bed (we have a king so we had some extra room)...when she was sick so i could be right next to her, or when we traveled in hotels, peoples houses....that way, she always had her special little bed and it never changed. i really liked it...not every one does. good luck. oh, and i was the same way with the "nevers" before having my daughter. i laugh at the things we do and enjoy that we said we would NEVER do! haa
Julie

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L.S.

answers from Honolulu on

Question first - do you wrap him up so that his arms are close to his body? I know what the books and what (they) say about sleeping on tummy but there are exceptions to every rule - A couple of things - he will hate sleeping in his bed at night entirely if you do continue letting him sleep with you in bed at night. But sleeping on his back vs tummy - if he sleeps what the heck - He is 3 weeks old and trust me having 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren he pretty much has his preferences already established - this is sometimes hard to realize but he already likes sleeping on his tummy and if you, your husband and your son gets the rest why change that?

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J.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.
Despite all the talk about SIDS, I placed both of my babies on their stomach to sleep from day one. It gives them a sense of security. They both HATED being on their back even to change their diaper. Both of my girls are great sleepers!!!

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S.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.. Congrats on your new little baby. Just wanted to let you know that both my children loved to sleep on their tummys too. With my first, I was frightened to let him sleep on his tummy because of all the horrow stories I heard, but that was the only way he would sleep. My second child was the same way too. I would just keep watching your son during his day naps to make sure he can move his neck side to side. I guess the big concern with tummy sleeping is that they can sufficate from not moving their heads. At night I would bundle my children up and lay them on their sides. (with a rest assured) That seemed to work for a while until I felt they were strong enough to sleep on their tummy during the night. Just remember that you are his mommy and go with your gut instinct. You'll get many opinions on this (I did) and I just went with what I felt was best for my children. You know them the best. Again, congrats on your new son!!!

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G.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter "insisted" on sleeping on her tummy too. I actually remember sleeping on my tummy when I was a baby and how much it helped my stomach. I know there is fear there but it worked for us. Of course, she was my second so I was much more relaxed about all that "baby stuff."
G.

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K.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey there,
Before I had my baby my mother told me that all of us (4 children) slept on our stomachs.. But ever since they figured out that SIDS may contribute to that, Dr.s have told people to place kids on there back. So my Dr. was very strict with this.. So i went with it. My daughter hated it! We did the same thing, sleeping with your child on our chest. We finally couldnt do it anymore- so we had to do it. The DR. said that you have to train your child to sleep on their back, so we did just that. We held her until she was in a deep sleep (swaddled her) and she finally enjoyed it.. Now she hates her stomach!

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.,
Congratulations! I would still place your baby on his back. When he is old enough to roll over, he can roll onto his tummy and he'll be fine. And if you want to sleep with your baby, sleep with him! We also had our son in our bed for the first 4 weeks, then it was the bassinet. If you want to bedshare beyond that, go ahead! It's your choice.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter would not sleep flat on her back either so we would bring her carseat in and let her fall asleep in that. When that stopped working, we finally let her sleep on her tummy. Hope you get some sleep!

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L.H.

answers from San Diego on

This is a common issue and it's hard because everyone says they should sleep on their backs but when you have a baby who won't and you are up all night and they are not sleeping and neither are you...you start to waiver right?? Well, my first born was the same way and what we did was in the very beginning we had him sleep in our bed so that we could check on him often while he slept on his tummy. I know people are also against letting them sleep in your bed, but I don't see any problems with it. I had all 3 of mine in my bed for a while and then just transitioned them into their own beds and they were fine. If you want him in his own bed now, I would incline the mattress a little.

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R.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

HI, I am a mother of two grown children and a nurse and I think the best thing to do is prop your baby up on his side with blankets and see if he'll sleep. Back in our day, we put the babies on their tummies and I know they don't advise that now but it sure worked then.
I would however, advise not to put the baby in bed with you even though it's fun to snuggle. It can lead to a bad habit that's very hard to break.

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A.D.

answers from Reno on

A.,

I am a mom of three kids (7, 6, and a 9 month old baby)and they were all tummy sleepers. They would just not sleep on thier backs. They all survived sleeping on thier tummies. Just make sure that there is nothing else in the crib. I always checked on them periodically to make sure they were okay. I figure having a baby sleep on their tummy, so that you and the baby can get rest is better than having an exhausted baby and an even more sleep deprived mom.
Good Luck,
A.

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T.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello,
Now I am an older mom. My kids are 15 and 12 but I let them sleep on their tummy. The both do to this day and they slept a lot better. I know many parents will say no way to the tummy but use your gut and if you think it is ok. go for it. i too let the babies sleep on me and then in the bed. Just be careful of this when they are 2-3 b/c at 12 i still have a very hard time with my son sleeping in his own bed. He doesn't like to sleep alone. I made that big mistake.
Enjoy the newborn, they grow fast!!!
God bless

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L.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was scared to death of my baby not breathing at night so I picked up an angel care monitor at babies r us. It has saved my life! I sleep well knowing that if my son stops breathing, the monitor will alarm very loudly. it is a sensor that lays under the crib mattress and can sense the very slight movement of breathing. Well worth the $100 investment for the peace of mind. I highly recommend it if you are nervous.

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C.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi
You may want to try to put him on his. You can also try to put a t- shirt that you or your husband have worn near the area he is sleeping, so that he can think he is right next to you.

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A.B.

answers from Reno on

Until the child is old enough, you don't want to allow him to sleep on his tummy. Not only is there increased risk of SIDS (which they still don't know how to prevent), but a three week old baby who can't push himself around might not be able to breathe and could suffocate. I know how much some children hate to sleep on their backs, but it is just something that has to be done. Everytime you see that he has turned himself over, just gently turn him back. Rub his tummy or give him some soft music to help lull him back to sleep. He might cry for awhile, but he will get over it eventually and sleep will win out.
Also, it really isn't safe to allow the baby to sleep on your bed or on your stomach while you sleep. What were to happen if you rolled over? You could suffocate your own child, or drop him off the bed. You don't really have control over yourself when you sleep, and even if you are a light sleeper, you might find that you aren't getting enough sleep and you really won't be able to wake up when you need to. I know that sounds like I am being overly protective, but I do know of what I speak. I have always been a light sleeper, always waking up when the baby as much as peeps in the night. But after a couple of less than satisfying nights of sleep, I woke up with the baby in my arms on my own bed, and I didn't know how he got there. Don't risk your baby's health and safety, no matter how wonderful it is to hold him. Good luck.

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P.H.

answers from Reno on

My babies didn't sleep on their backs either. However, when my children were little, we were told to never put them on their backs because of SIDS. Now it's the reverse. My babies weren't that comfortable on their bellies, so my mom told me to gently swaddle and put them on their sides (switching sides each nap). I rolled up a small blanket or receiving blanket and put it behind them for support. It worked and they had their naps. Since I had a nephew die of SIDS and the information seems to change, I put my grandson on his side when he's with me. I feel better and he's safe; can't smother himself and stop breathing and can't choke on any spit up. Congratulations and enjoy! I also had my babies in my bed and definitely don't apologize for it. We loved it!!!

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E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello!
I am a soon to be (any time now) first time mom of a little boy. So I don't have any experience! My husband and I bought one of those Co-Sleeper beds from Arm's Reach (the bassinet attaches to the side of your bed, so the baby is right next to you, but you don't have to worry about rolling on them), and we also got an Angel Care movement sensor. It goes under the mattress, and the pad detects the baby's movements. The alarm sounds if there is no movement for 20 seconds. When I read reviews by other parents many said that they never got 'false' alarms from the monitor, but knew it worked because they often picked the baby up and forgot to switch it off, setting off the alarm. I don't know if these ideas are helpful, but I wanted to share what I had ready for sleeping.
Have you heard of these or tried them yet? Did they work?
Thanks,
E.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

A., i am an old school mom, my kids were born in the 80's when we were told to sleep babies on their tummy's over the years it has changed from tummys to backs, to even sleeping them on their side, all 3 of my kids slept on their tummys, my mom had 5 kids all slept on tummys, my grandmother had 4 kids all slept on their tummys, no crib deaths, babies sleep better on their tummy's because it is a more secure position than their backs, on their backs if they spit up in their sllep they are more likely to choke than on their tummys. as fas as the bassent all 3 of mine used one by our bed side, I'm not really sure at that young they know how to hate anything. As for putting the baby in bed with you, NEVER it creats a pattern that is really hard to break. I did do that once with my first baby, but only once. I am a home daycare provider, and ever since they started sleeping babies on their backs, these babies don't sleep for more than 45 minutes, my babbies slept for at least 2 hours at a time, the reason being like i said on their tummys they feel more secure. J. L mother for 24 years.

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A.S.

answers from Honolulu on

hi! Our kids all hated sleeping on their backs, but they did much better when swaddled. they startle easily on their backs so swaddling helps alot. he may resist it at first but they settle into it. My daughter is six months old and still swaddled for her nap right now!

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J.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I completely can relate to your anxiety, frustration, nervousness, etc. My daughter was the exact same way as well as my older son. When I placed her on her tummy during naptime, I would make sure I would watch her. This was only for naptimes. At night, I would put her to sleep on her back in her bassinet. We had (and still have) a bassinet with a vibrate option. She liked sleeping with vibrate motion on to the point where we'd run the battery out. Keep on trying to simulate the environment your son had while he was in your womb.
Another thing you may want to try is to place your hand on his tummy as you place him down on his back. Slowly and gradually remove your hand from his tummy once he's down. Sometimes he may jerk awake if you move too quickly. One last trick you may want to try is to place on his tummy a small bean bag (sewn tight). I did this with all 3 of my kids and they had less of a tendency to want to sleep on their tummies. My friend also told me that some Asian cultures use this trick as well. Hope one of these ideas help. Looking back now, there is nothing more heavenly than a little baby falling asleep on your chest. I miss those days.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

All but one of my children slept on their tummies. The only one that didn't was our 2nd child who was a preemie. If he likes his tummy, then I say go for it. If you're nervous, you could try getting those long pillows and putting him on his side, propping the pillows against his back so he doesn't move (that's probably why he likes his tummy). My mother-in-law did that where she'll put one pillow against the baby's back and another against the belly and legs so she can sleep on her side.

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K.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A., I'm a mom of 2 grown chillin. Trust me you don't want your little bundle to get too use to sleeping on your chest(I should probably say you and hubby should not get too use to it- it feels so precious) You want to get back to the business to being a wife......really! Wrap your babe real good like they did in the hospital, turn him on his side and put a rolled up blanket behind him (this keeps the baby on their side. Hope it helps.

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Both of our kids had the same issue. We purchased the bebesounds Angel sleep monitor (not sure name is totally correct). It's really sensitive to motion so it will go off and wake up the neighborhood if it doesn't detect any breathing. Ours did go off one night. We ran over to the crib in a panic only to find that our child scooted to a corner of the crib and was not in the sensor's "sweet-spot."

Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son would immediately roll on his side when he was first born. I was told that since he was breast-fed and in a non-smoking home, the chance of SIDS were greatly diminished. As I'm sure you know, SIDS is the reason you don't want to let him sleep on his tummy. My son also had issues on his back because of reflux. He almost always napped in his bouncer, but when I would try to put him down in his crib at night, he'd kick and squirm and have serious difficulty sleeping. Inclining his mattress didn't help at all, so our doctor suggested putting the bouncer in the crib and letting him sleep in that. It worked. And he was on his back. Good luck and congrats on your newborn!

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.!
Both my kids would NOT sleep on their backs, they would wake up screaming but as soon as i layed them on their tummys they would sleep 3-4 hours. My daughter has been sleeping through the night since 5 weeks old ON HER TUMMY! Just make sure there isn't anything loose around them. Don't stress about it. I know MANY people that put their babies on their tummy to sleep and they are fine :) Do what is right for you and your family!
Good luck and congrats!

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A., My little one is 10 weeks old now and I've been letting her nap for an hour a day on her tummy since she was 2 weeks old - she loves it. I just check on her more often. And at night, we put her in one of those little foldup portable beds and put that between us until last week when she suddenly transitioned to her crib. They sell them for $40 at Target. Good luck and congratulations!

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C.E.

answers from Las Vegas on

Congradulations!! Have you tried having him sleep on his side? Even though I see nothing wrong with him sleeping on his tummy. My little one was more comfy on her side or tummy. Just make sure there is nothing loose around him. And there is nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Have fun, it is amazing how fast they grow. Oh, the one concern is how strong is his neck? Could he turn his head if he needed to? That would be my concern.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Personally, I feel that how ever your baby sleeps the best is the way they should sleep. As far as sids goes, the 2 people I have meet that have lost a baby to sids both babies were on their backs. One was 15 months old and sleeping on a grandmothers bed between pillows, the baby was not near any pillows or face down when they found him, he simply stopped breathing. The second family (this was their first baby) They had been out Christmas shopping all day the baby was fine and twitching occasionally like they do, when they got home they toke the baby carrier out of the car and the baby didn't twitch or jump from being moved, the panic of a new mom made her touch the baby to get the twich but it was to late. The baby had died on the way home at three weeks old.
You have to remember that most of us that are mothers today all slept on our bellies when we were babies, and every couple years they come up with a new idea of how to make your baby sleep. When my daughter was born it was there sides, when my third was born it was their backs, I always put my babies on their bellies because that's how they slept the best. I feel bad for those whom have lost their babies, it has to be the worst feeling in the world, that you weren't their to save them. May God watch over them and help them get through it. But you can never know when your time is up. You simply have to look at it this way. Your child must have been almost perfect since he/she only needed to be tested on this earth for a very short time. Or simply God needed him/her their.
To make you more comfortable stick the baby monitor in the crib so that you can hear the baby better for any funky sounds, gasps for air, anything. Or move the crib into your room so that when you wake up wondering if things are okay you can quickly get up put your hand on his/her back or under his nose to make sure they are still breathing. Then quickly go back to bed, I know it's fun to sleep with are little ones but one day your baby will move and could fall off of your chests and could get seriously hurt. Or you will run into the problem that your 6 to 9 month old can't sleep with out hearing your heart beats. Good luck with your decision and May God watch over all the little ones out thier. J.

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I say let him sleep on his tummy if that is the way he likes to sleep. The experts say the back is better, but they used to say the tummy (that's how my mom put me and my 6 siblings to sleep). If you worry about SIDS, check out a "BabeSafe" mattress or mattress cover - I found information about them on www.babysake.com. It is supposed to reduse the risk of SIDS.

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M.J.

answers from San Diego on

A.,
I am a postpartum nurse, and clearly the Board of Pediatrics recommends for babys to sleep on their backs until they can roll themselves over. They have said this helps against SIDS- Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Hope this information helps.

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B.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

My 11 children slept on their tummy. I didn't know it was wrong and they were just fine. I don't recommend having a baby sleep with parents.

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K.S.

answers from Honolulu on

A.,
I have two sons myself, but their ages are 18 and 14. However when they were babies they too would only sleep on their tummys and they turned out fine. It's best to let them sleep in their own bed than with you and your husband...it only gets harder for you to take him out than it was to put him in there. I hope things work out for you and yours.

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try the snugglenest which is also inclined, has the side borders but you can place it in between you and your husband during the night. Later, when the baby gets use to sleeping on his back you can put him at the bedside bassinet or crib. I strongly recommend you not place him on his tummy. Especially since the warm/hot weather has begun. Studies show that sudden infant death syndrom is associated with sleeping on the tummy, warm weather, (overheated) and blankets/stuffed animals in the crib/bassinet. Also, babies being smothered in bed cosleeping may be on the rise again. Please, Please, Back to Sleep only. It is wonderful for the baby to sleep on your chest but this is only encouraging him. Do this once he has gotten use to sleeping on his back. Good Luck.

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B.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am a mother of a 5 year old son and have a background of 20 years in the Child Development field. I have seen the trends change of laying the baby on their tummy, then on their side, and now on the back. My son was okay with sleeping on his back, but working with infants in a child care center, I know there were children who hated sleeping on their backs. My personal opinion is that you have your child fall asleep the way he's most comfortable. It will give you and your son a better night's sleep.

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W.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi! I am first time mom, 30yrs old, and my son, now 1 year and a half, we used to lay him on his side in the "early months". sometimes we would lay him on his side inclined up onto a thin pillow. sometimes also what he seemed to really enjoy was I had this really comfy woven cotton throw blanket and i would bundle it up sort of oval shaped like a nest and lay him on his side in it with his head up around the "rim". this is good until they start to be able to roll over and such. or i would place two or three pillows side to side and create a sort of little "nest" for him. he looked cozy and slept well. just dont use fluffy pillows that he can lose his face into and prevent his little face from breathing. use old flattened ones or somewhat firm cushions. be creative! and imagine what it feels like yourself! sweet dreams!

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