Ugh My 4.5 Yr Old Is Driving Me Crazy... MOM I'M STARVING!

To tell you the truth sometimes I fed the little ones earlier than when I ate. And at that age they really did not eat to much. The only snack I let them have before bedtime was fruit. Maybe 6:00 is a little late for her. Try something new, you might like it better.

Either don't let her in the kitchen with you or give her a task to do that will get her mind off the food. If that doesn't work and she throws a tantrum send her to her room and tell her that a tantrum is unexceptionable and she has to go on a time out until dinner is ready. She's old enough to understand and old enough to stop the tantrums.

My husbands answer to this is to tell her she can't have anything to eat at all till she stops throwing a fit and eats dinner when its ready and not try to before.

make her snack a dinner snack and make it smaller. Then she has to eat some dinner, because there is no snack before bed.

Why don't you try to give her a small, healthy snack earlier in the afternoon, around 2:30-3?
When I read your question, I also wondered why you did ANYTHING your daughter wants when she "stands...and screams". If you really want to change the dynamic in your home and make things more pleasant for everyone, stop giving in to her tantrums, screaming or unpleasant behaviors.

According to my husband, who is a nutritional specialist, we should eat something about every 3 hours. Your daughter being hungry at 3:30 is not uncommon or strange.

If I were you, I'd give her a small snack at 2:30-3:00. Waiting until 3:30 or 4:00 is too late if you're eating at 6:00. Give it to her before she says she's starving. The best snack would be fruit or veggies.

I've noticed that when my daughter (who is 9) tells me she's hungry, she's usually feeling pretty hungry. She's a child, so when she's hungry she doesn't know what a "snack" means, or realize that a full dinner is on the way. So when she's hungry around 4:00 she wants to eat until she is full like she would for a full meal. Give her some fruit then she just begs and says she's still hungry. Or she'll get her own snack and eat enough to be a meal and the do the same thing as your daughter does. She won't eat dinner and then will be hungry at bedtime.

We snack at 3:00 every day. That's when we get done with homeschool, and most kids are coming home from school and getting their snacks too. The best part about that is now we've "trained" her stomach. She's automatically hungry around 3:00 and then she eats a full dinner.

We don't allow snacks after 3:30 so if she misses her snack she has to wait until dinner time (we always OFFER it at 3:00 but sometimes she chooses not to eat one). Any time after 3:30 and I know she won't eat her dinner!

Also, smelling dinner on the way heightens the appetite. It's amazing how my family will just come out of the woodwork when dinner smells float from the kitchen!

Good luck!

Growth spurt + low blood sugar + boundary testing + tantrum = what you are facing.

My kids get hungry then too. I have a drawer with small healthy snacks in it that they can help themselves from anytime until one hour before dinner. One hour before dinner the drawer is off limits.

We always have a snack before bed (usually milk) it is part of the routine. But, at dinner they know, if you don't eat dinner no snack later. (sounds contraindicated since they would be hungrier, but they do have to learn that dinner is dinner.)

You're schedule is reasonable, but she's 4.5 which means she is not and her hunger is not always reasonable either. Good luck!

Hi R.
My twins used to scream they were hungry and one in particular would then be too full to eat at mealtime. My mom gave me solid advice. She said so give them supper instead of a snack. Well, it wasn't ready, but since we would most always have frozen veggies for supper, I began putting them in a dish frozen on the table. They would think they were sneaking the food, and I would be getting dinner foods into them. They loved the veggies frozen, and when I went to heat them maybe there was some for us and maybe not but my girls had had veggies. Since one of mine was so underweight we always gave snacks at bedtime but not sweet snacks mostly she got crackers and cheese type snacks too.
Just a thought
Hope you get lots of ideas to try
God bless you

Mine don't scream "I'm starving", but they hang out in the kitchen and cause a ruckus. Especially the almost 2 year old! It makes my making dinner super hard. If this happens and they are really bothering me then I will go ahead and make the salad or cook the veggies (the green giant just for one's are great for this purpose) and sit them at the table and let them eat while I finish the meal. Then we all sit down to eat. If they eat...great! If they don't...who cares?!?! They just had a salad or a veggie so they have at least had the healthiest part of the meal.

It may be nice sometimes to have your daughter fed before you and your husband. Then you might actually have a halfway peaceful meal and/ or can eat what you want (something spicey or something she normally wouldn't eat.)

Also, I remember the pediatrician telling me a while ago, that if they eat dinner and are hungry for a snack before bed then give them one. If they don't eat dinner but ask for a snack before bed then don't give them one.

Good luck!

I always gave fruit or veggies if they asked for a late afternoon snack and just considered it a healthy part of dinner. (if she says no to what you offer- carrots or grape tomatos or fruit then she's not that hungry!) I dont give protein or carbs that is too filling. I also give a Small snack at bedtime thinking about what he didnt get enough of during the day ( a p. b. cracker if he needs more protein or fruit etc if he didnt get that before dinner snack or something with fiber if I think thats what he needed.) My five year old doesnt eat a big dinner even if he doesnt snack, so i figure small healthy snacks are important.

Sometimes when children are growing they need to eat right now. Did you have that feeling when you were pregnant? So instead of a snack give a meal that is left over from the night before that way she is eating a for fulling meal and not snacking. Also what time is lunch? Your child's stomach is the size of her fist so she is telling that she needs to eat when her body tells it is time to eat. Food battles are only battles if you let them be. Set her up for a healthy life style of eating when hungry and stopping when full. Getting enough rest and exercise too will help. Good luck!

Before she begins her campaign give her a small bowl of sliced raw vegetables & a little fruit. Carrots, red bell peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, cherry tomatoes, brocoli florets - even a little bit of apple or a few berries. Let her help pick out stuff in the produce section when you're shopping ("this week you can pick out one fruit and one vegetable") If they're in small pieces it will take her a while to eat them. That way she'll have had her vegetables by the time dinner is ready - but since vegetables digest pretty quickly and she should be hungry for protein by the time dinner hits the table (the cheese and bread probably keep her from feeling hungry an hour later). Tell her what you have planned - so she won't be the one driving the demands - you're in control. She wants you to be in control anyway. And if she has a tantrum, let her. One of my children (now 14) would drop in the kitchen doorway and have a 40 minute tantrum - I'd step around/over her and continue doing what I was doing. When she learned that the tantrum wouldn't work she stopped. I think there were only 2 tantrums that long - they got progessively shorter. To this day, if my teens are getting hungry or if I think dinner is going to be late I quickly cut up veggies and put them in the bowl on the kitchen counter. Most of them will be gone by dinner time. It doesn't matter to me if they eat veggies at the dinner table or not - as long as they eat them. and raw is better than cooked any way.

I suggest that next time you say no, and she pitches a fit, don't give in. That's a slippery slope. (However, I know how irritating a 40-minute tantrum is, esp in the kitchen near dinnertime!!!) How about putting out a small bowl of baby carrots and pepper slices, or apple slices, prior to starting dinner. If she shows up starving, direct her to the "hors d' oeuvres".

Offer her a snack earlier in the afternoon. Also you can't give in after you tell her she can't have something that won't teach anything except if I scream and have a tantrum I will get what I want.

Sometimes even I like to snack/munch when I go into the kitchen to begin preparing dinner. Even when I don't feel all that hungry. So maybe you should try to get her HEAVILY involved in something somewhere AWAY from the kitchen/food prep until closer to time to eat. Additionally, I would offer her a little something about 10 minutes BEFORE I started food prep. She may say she is not hungry. Then you will know whether or not it is a case of her eyes making her tummy rumble (ever gone grocery shopping without eating first? Then you understand where that can lead, lol).

IF she really does say she is hungry and would like a snack (when you offer it before starting dinner prep), then keep it VERY small. Something like cheese (even a baby bell) has protein and can be quite filling. Especially for someone her size. I would offer her something less, like a celery stick with a blob of PB on it. Just one. Or 3 or 4 pretzels. That's it. No more.
Good luck.

Growth-spurt.

Last summer, my daughter, was literally starving too... EVERY hour or every 2 hours, she'd eat something or a meal.
She was growing.
That summer she grew like 5 inches.
The Doctor said its fine.

My son, when having a growth-spurt, is like that too.
Constant eating...

Also, at these times, for my daughter, if she did not eat... then she'd get like hypoglycemic... blood sugar levels drop and causes mega fussy-ness...

If she is eating when she IS hungry... then to me, that's good... she is listening to her body's 'signals' for hunger. It is not 'emotional' eating. Which is worse.
If she is then not hungry at dinner "time" per say... then fine.
Or have dinner earlier....

Kids often do not eat a TON... like adults, at mealtimes.

all the best,
Susan

I allow my kids to eat fruit or veges only when they are hungry at times other than regular meals or snack time. Then if they aren't so hungry at meal time I consider the fruit or vege part of that meal. If they are really hungry because I am unusually late with dinner I will just give them their fruit or vege with a pb and j and a glass of milk and call it done. If they're still hungry they are welcome to eat what I make that night, usually not.
My point is healthy foods only that I can consider part of a meal.

my grandson is the same way---he eats small amounts but hungry every 2-3 hours...............i found giving him a serving of mixed fruit-with marichino cherries (!) or a bananaor string cheese will hold him off for a small while---finally decided to have dinner at 4 for us---parents reheat in microwave later..........when he is home sick-i feel like i am running a dinner! good luck!

Any time my kid screamed at me, he got to spend some time sitting in his room until he could ask nicely. There is NO WAY I would respond to a child screaming at me, especially for food. If she's truly that hungry, she'll calm down immediately and ask politely (at which time, she might get a very small glass of water. If not, she can scream and pitch a fit all she wants in her room.

It really sounds like an attention getting ploy to me. Waiting 2-3 hours between meals is do-able.

Good luck.

No fit throwing is allowed. Speaking in a regular voice and asking with manners for a snack deserves a piece of fruit or some raw veggies.. If she does not eat much dinner, then only serve her really small portions..

I could be wrong but it sounds like a bit of a power struggle and she's trying to get some control. If you can, make a simple dinner for her that you can have ready as soon as she starts complaining about "starving". Then, if she is still hungry later, she can have her snack then - at least she will have gotten the good dinner into her. At 4.5, she is old enough to be told no. The problem with letting her carry on for 40 min and then giving in, as you know, is that she has now learned that as long as I carry on for 40 min, I will get my way. Next time she may try to carry on for 45 min until she gets her way. I would try switching up dinner time for her and not give into her "demands". Good luck!

Dont give in. Kids are smart and if she knows her tantrum will lead to getting what she wants, she will do it for how ever long it takes. Once it is established that she wont get what she wants, in time she will settle down and you will she that she will accept it.It might take aweek or more depending on how strong her will is or how many times you have given in. Also sometimes kids will go into tantrum mode because they like to see how you react. She could be testing too and its important for her that you are the one in control, she needs to know that she can count on you. Their world changes so rapidly that boundaries she can rely on will give her the ability to trust and be able to just be a little girl and leave the really big stuff to you. I have 4 kids 13 yrs old down to 8 months. God Bless

i know we all like to eat as a family but try giving her dinner early when she is hungry rather then a snack and then a snack we the rest of you eat dinner. or a bigger lunch or later lunch

As a child I was always hungry right before bed time too. My mom said it wasn't a ploy to stay up longer because I always ate all that she gave me and then went to bed with no problem. She would offer me a bowl of cereal before bed (nothing else - meaning she wouldn't give me choices) and I would eat it all and go to bed. Maybe she is growing or has a fast metabolism. Is skipping the snack and eating a little earlier an option? Good luck!
PS I agree. . . throwing a fit? Not acceptable!

It's more an issue of her having temper tantrums and winning - so now she knows IF I scream for 40 minutes THEN I get what I am screaming for. So, set your boundaries and follow through on them - or she will continue to grow in to an older and more demanding child. Pay now or pay later. It's not about the food. You can do it. I'd give her a snack of fresh fruit or veggies (carrot sticks, cucumber sticks) - no caramel or ranch dressing - high fat/salt/sugar at snack time - when she comes home from school. Make sure she gets some time with you reading, playing a game - so she has had your undividided attention for 30 minutes or so. Then, when it is time for you to get dinner ready, explain it briefly. "Honey, I am now making dinner. We will eat at 6:30pm. I will call you when it is dinner time. Now it is time for you to play outside/in your room, etc. If you fuss, you will go to your room until dinner and have not dessert. Do you understand?" (Have her reply, "Yes, Mom.") Then follow through. She'll test you - but it's not about you - it's about you training her in self control and in listening to you. Really crucial life skills!

Any way you can try to distract her for the hour with something new like a new coloring book or something she likes to do? Or a tv show (if you aren't anti-tv that is)? Maybe even get her involved in preparing the meal? Or if that doesn't work and she really needs to eat earlier save her leftovers from the night before so at least she's having a good meal? Just some suggestions.

She will not starve to death if you dont give her a snack. My kids used to say they were starving when I was preparing dinner and I said Great, you are SUPPOSED to be hungry at dinnertime. They soon stopped asking. First it is a reaction to the fact she knows you are cooking. This makes her hungry, which is a learned response. Infants will want to eat when they smell food also. So since you have given in and now dont want to she is playing the power game. Do not give in. If she screams warn her to stop and then send her to her room or put her in a high chair and make her face the wall. Then ignore her and all her pleas for food. She will NOT starve.

I haven't read the other suggestions, but what I do is cut up a few veggies and put them on a plate. If my daughter comes along saying she's hungry, she's allowed what is on the plate--nothing else: especially no dairy or wheat based foods that are easy to fill up on but have low nutritional value. If she eats all the veggies on the plate, sometimes she won't eat her dinner vegetables, but since she ate veggies before dinner I don't worry about it. Dinner she can eat whatever she wants off the table (or nothing if that's her choice), but even with the fill up on veggies before dinner DD will usually have a couple of bites of whatever protein we're having and maybe some carbs (rice, bread, pasta, potato, whatever). We only have desserts on special occasions, so that's not a debate.

Later on near bed time if she is hungry she can eat leftover dinner, more veggies or maybe a piece of fruit (whether or not she ate dinner, the plan is the same)--even if we have something "snacky" in the house (which is not often) she knows it is not an option after dinner/dark.

I've found that little kids tend to be more hungry around "tea time" than in the evening, so switching up your schedule so your daughter can eat more at her 3:30 "snack time" and a lighter meal just before bedtime might be easier to deal with. But it may also depend on what you choose to serve as snacks. If you go for mini-meal type food, just supply more, so a lighter evening is doable, but if you've been using the "cookies and milk" style snack, it may feel like a challenge to change your routine. But if you are often stuck with leftovers, those work pretty well as afternoon snacks.

My girls used to (and occasionally still do) pull this. I told them they may have fruit or some veggies. If they were really hungry they would take it. If not, they would whine about wating something else. I always told them the same thing..." that's what you can have, take it or leave it! Dinner will be ready soon." The veggies usually didn't effect their appitite. If they did, at least I knew they had something good! They are also told at dinner, this is it for the night. If you don't eat now, don't ask for anything later. Occasionally they would tell me at bed time they were hungry. I just stick to mt guns and remind them they should have eatten at dinner. After a few times, when I would warn them at dinner they would eat! Good luck!