Up All Night...

Updated on August 02, 2007
R.S. asks from McKinney, TX
30 answers

Hi ladies, just wondering if anyone had any suggestions, here's my dillemma. I just had twin boys, they're 2 1/2 weeks old, who are perfect for me during the day...but won't sleep at ALL at night. Its not really so much of a problem for me, but my husband stays up with them from about 11:00 pm to 6:00 am for me so I can get some rest, and he's worried this may be bad for their health. It seems like they want to eat every hour on the hour for him (they're up to about 3 oz. now, I'm breast-feeding when I'm awake and also supplementing) and they're constantly fussy. We burp them constantly or at least I do, so I don't think they're just collicy...I was thinking maybe they just miss me at night, but was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience and was wondering if you had any suggestions as to how to get them on a more regular sleeping schedule? I heard its bad to wake babies up when they're sleeping, so I don't really know what to do. =/

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K.O.

answers from Dallas on

Go get the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block". Ignore all of the evolution gibberish, but read what it says on what to do. It's great. It worked for my monster child.

K.

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

The best think I did was read The Baby Whisperer. I cannot remember if it talks about twins or not but you could look at the website post first and see if you think the book might help at all. It is all about teaching them how to eat, play and sleep. Good Luck!
www.babywhisperer.com

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hello CONGRATS.. I am not sure what to do for that but i look forward to hearing any answers you may recieve i am due with twin boys in 4 weeks...Did you go full term with your twins curious to know how delivery went and how much they weighed and did they come home with you?

I.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi!
At first I want apologize for my English. It is not my native language.
We had almost the same problem. Now our boy is 11 weeks. I am brestfeeding too and also we give to him formula. First month it was very diffucult and I understand you very well. Babies in this age eat every 1 our or 1 and half our, and it's normal for them! Our boy had collicy and gas, maybe your boys have the same, and therefore they are fussy... because it's painful!
We give to him bifidus bacteria, we started to give it when he was only several days... and it halps a lot, especially it's very good for babies who was born through c-section.
Maybe this remedy will halp you too.
http://store.natren.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PRO...=
Sincerely.
I..

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Well, I am in no way a mother of twins (best wishes and congrats!), but I do have two kids 17 mos. appart(youngest now 3 mos). and nurse/nursed them both (nursed my oldest till preg. w/ my youngest). My 1st born was a terrible "night owl" and very bad colicy. This is what i did, and though it took some time, it did work:

During the day, let them sleep at need but keep the house "abuzz" - let lights on and window shades open. Go along with your normal daily routines, no matter what they are (or no matter how noisy or active). Don't do anything to help babies or keep babies asleep and don't "hush" their surroundings any. And make sure they eat full meals during the day. If they fall asleep during a feeding, wake them back up to finish (they need to stock-pile calories and fat during the day to make it through the night better). If you don't wake them any other time (and I don't wake mine or keep them up either), do it at feeding(as drs., nurses, and lactation consultants will tell you).

At night - keep house as dark and as calm (not necessarily quite-use Happiest Baby on the Block techniques noted below) as possible. Turn DOWN the thermostat (so they don't get hot) and swaddle the babies. I'd recommend getting the HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK by Dr. Harvy Karp dvd ASAP (seriously ASAP) and watch it ALL as well as the questions and answers and USE THE CALMING SOUNDS (in the bonus section) all night!!!!!!!! This video was a total God-send with my colicy daughter once I found it (though it was basicly too late) and worked great with my gassy son!!!!! Use the swaddle, a swing or vibrating chair, the "white noise", and a pacifier (if they take one) as noted in the video at night and at least they will relax and start to get into a more night-time schedule.

Also, since you are supplementing:
-try giving them a bottle of formula before you want them to sleep at night since formula sits on the stomach longer than breast milk and therefore keeps them full longer and more continent!
-let them nurse at the breast several times before the last bottle so the sucking satisfaction keeps them calm and quiet and will put them in the mood to relaxation (best wishes working with two - I sooo admire you for nursing twins - what wonderful dedication on your part). Sucking is very soothing to a newborn (see Hapiest Baby)

Also, please know that at about 2-4 weeks, babies NATURALLY go through a growth spurt and will want to eat non-stop anyway(just ask any lactation specialist)! I personally don't think it is so much that they are missing you (though I don't doubt that they are a little bit) as much as they are missing your nourishment/fat and calories! Breast milk has much better milk fat in it that is absorbed better than formula, so breastfeed as much as possible at day.

And too, just because you burb them often doesn't mean it's NOT collic! Colic often does not have to do with burping or even gas, but is often an undescribable condition (found this one out the hard way after baby #1 was such a prob and I did TONS of research!!!). Please note that it could be formula type you are using as well.

Best of luck and congrats (again)! So excited for you! Though it is a lot of work, having twins is soo neat! I would totally be excited if I ever had twins (it does run in my family). And as a nursing mother, best of luck with that too! I totally admire you for giving it an honest shot with twins! Good for you and "you go girl!" I know it isn't easy but nursing is soooooooo much better for those babies (I was convinced before, but I just did some more research and wow!!!!).

hope I help!

Sincerely
T.

Also, I couldn't have lived without "Gripe Water" - all natural - give it a try!!!! My pediatrician and Dr. Harvey Karp say that the typical gas drops (Mylicon) have never shown to do a thing to help gas, so I tried this and it seems to work!!!!

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

are they sleeping all day?

what worked with both of my children was waking them during the day to eat every 3 hours. some people may say, "never wake a sleeping baby" but that is what worked for me. that way they knew it was day time. my second child first slept through the night (9 hours) at 4 weeks old and consistently starting at 10 weeks old. my first child first slept through the night at 9 weeks old and consistently at 12 weeks old. if i had let them sleep all day and not fed them every three hours i do not think this woudl ahve happened this early. it worked for me.

also, i will tell you that i know it seems like an eternity when you are in the situation, but this time will pass quickly. they are only 2 1/2 weeks old...you and your husband hang in there, they will be on a consistent schedule before you knwo it.

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R.

answers from Dallas on

My 3rd baby turns 2 weeks tomorrow so I'm going through the same thing. We've just been keeping her awake longer during the day and then also starting a bedtime routine. She LOVES having a bath and she goes RIGHT to sleep for 5 to 6hrs after that. We've had the nights where she wants to feed every hour on the hour and I found that she just prefers to sleep near me. So that's our new challenge right now, we have the snuggle nest for her to sleep in bed with us, but she likes to be right next to my breasts so that's how we've been sleeping... not the best but at least we're sleeping! :) Also, 2 to 3oz per feeding at this age is normal according to a pamphlet I picked up from the hospital.

My brothers are twins and my mom went through the same thing... and one of my brothers had colic. And they were on opposite feeding schedules and breastfed exclusively so you can imagine how frazzled and sleep deprived she was...... just remember it will pass!

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I have 2 sets of twins; my youngest (boys) just turned one. Your experience is not all that unusual. There are several things to do, but to a certain extent you must just be patient. Remember that you don't start trying to put babies on a schedule til they are at least 2 weeks old - and your twins most likely were born early, so they are not really gestationally 2 weeks old yet. Also they may have their days and nights mixed up, and they may be having a lot of gas that is causing them to be fussy and wake up. Gently start trying to get them to sleep more during the night and less during the day. Start in the daytime, and after each feeding, instead of putting them to sleep, try to keep them awake for a little bit. Start with 5 minutes, work up to ten minutes, keep at it to try to keep them awake for 30 to 45 minutes after each feeding. don't worry if it doesn't work well right now, they still are just very sleepy and they are not quite gestationally 2.5 weeks. it will get better. Do all you can to keep them comfortable at night - are you swaddling them? that makes them feel more secure and they will sleep. If you don't know how to swaddle try to get someone to show you or buy the blankets especially for swaddling. be sure your husband is burping well; at this age you often have to burp after every few sips. Be sure there is not too much air getting in their bottles. Use gas drops like Mylicon to relieve their gas. 3 ounces is probably ok. Remember that they have very small stomachs and cannot take in that much. The key at night is just to try to keep them comfortable as much as possible so that they go right back to sleep after they eat. You might consider hiring a night nanny or else try to get a friend or family member to come and relieve your husband. also consider joining a support group for multiple moms. In plano its the Plano Area Mothers of Multiples at www.pamom.org. I have an excellent referral for a night nanny if you want it.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

A lot of good advice, and I definitely agree with the mother who said something about the Baby Whisperer. Babies are never too young for a schedule, just in the beginning you have to be a little more flexible. The Baby Whisperer follows the EASY method where you EAT, ACTIVITY, SLEEP, YOU (time for yourself).

The night time schedule may consist something like: Bath, Story and then Sleep for example. And if you do that most ever night they will start sleeping through the night (as soon as they switch their day to night schedule)

Good luck, and that's amazing that you have a husband that will do the night shift - great husband.

C.

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with the responses. Their days and nights are mixed up. Make sure and keep them awake while feeding so that their tummies get full, and burp frequently. With my daughter, I even had to start taking clothes off and rubbing her with a cool cloth to get her to stay awake for feedings. I spent time with her outside or in our sunny hallway so she could learn that she should be awake when it's sunny. At night, I kept the lights low, kept the TV/radio off, and swaddled her. I found out that she cluster fed at night, and would want to nurse for an hour or longer, and then she'd sleep five or six hours.

I had a former co-worker get mad at me when she heard that I was waking her up during the day and told me I should never wake a sleeping baby (because my daughter would want to sleep six hours during the day and then be up all night.) I'm normally a patient and gentle person, but I was so sleep deprived and snapped at her that if she wanted to come to my house at 3am to take care of my daughter so that I could actually get some sleep, then great. But if not, then I'm going to do what I can to get her on a normal sleeping schedule. That shut her up. :D It took several weeks, and each night I'd put her to bed a few minutes earlier, and it worked. By the time she was a month or two old, she would sleep six hours or more at night, with small naps throughout the day.

I had to help a friend with her little guy, as she refused to wake him up during the day, and then he'd be up all night crying. We went to a cabin for a long weekend with them, and my DH and I helped keep him up during the day, and he started sleeping better. When her mom and my friend saw this, they were encouraged and started doing it too. It seems counter-intuitive to wake them during the day, esp. if you are trying to get things done, but it's better long-term for the whole family to be on the same schedule. The babies need to adjust to your schedule, not you to theirs.

Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hi. My baby was born in Feb. 2007 and I kind of had a similar problem. I was breastfeeding and supplementing, as well. He was great but he would have times were he was extremely fussy. He would cry all the time and he acted like he was hungry all the time. The doctor said that babies don't know what to do if something is wrong, you know if they have a tummy ache or something, so they would want to eat. Plus even if you give them a bottle and they aren't hungry they are still going to take the bottle because that is what they know. The doctor also told me that a newborn should sleep about 20 to 22 hours a day. Anyways, eventually the doctor said he must be collicky, but I didn't think that he was. So I changed his formula from Enfamil to the Gentlease, that still didn't work, then I changed to the Nestle GoodStart formula. That did start to work. Also, the Mylacon drops didn't seem tp work for my son. Some friends told me about Gripe Water, you get it at the Whole Food Market, or you can get the Pharmist at Walmart or any pharmacy to order it for you, and I saw it online at Target, but I'm not sure if they carry it in the store. Let me just say, it is awesome and safe. I gave it to my son and it was like a completely different baby. That stuff works. Oh, and I switched to the Dr. Brown bottles. After about five months of using the Dr. Brown bottles I was able to use the bottles I wanted to with out any problems. All those changes, every thing was a lot better. That was my experience, I hope I was of some help. Good luck!

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

Get a copy of the book "Haelthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Mark Weissbluth. It is fabulous. My daughter was sleeping through the night at 2 months old. Keep in mind that sleeping through the night is 12 hours, yes, 12 hours, from 8 pm until 8 am! It will tellyou how to get your boys on a schedule during the day which in turn, will put them on a schedule at night. I never really knew that if a baby doesn't nap well then they get over tired and then won't sleep at all at night and they compensate by feeding to sooth themselves. The book will help you out a ton!

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G.A.

answers from Dallas on

Just depends on weight and health. My friend has a little girl small and the doctors told her to wake it up to feed. She could not see waking up a little one sound so she did not do it. Then she really was fat later on. Then skinny again. So if they are hungry feed them. They may not like not nursing. If you can try to get them on a schedule try but babies usually let you know what they want when they want it. I was told you really can not spoil them but I had one in my Day Care that threw tamtrums for his first nap. Second he did better. He was 4 months. Little to soon to really know because you are all on an adjustment thing for now. It will get better. G. W

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi R.,
My son is now 2 1/2 months old and he just started sleeping through the night (YEAHHH!!!!) about 2 weeks ago. It just takes a little patience. I prbably wouldn't suggest waking them up right now at their age-- you my want to give them a couple more weeks then start trying to keep them up during the day(even if its for only 30min - 1 hr).He was one of those babies that were VERY hard to burp. It use to take me an hour just to get him to burp. Sometimes I found out that if I fed him 1-1/2 oz then burp him then feed him the rest he burped more easily. Another trick I've tried is giving him some of those Milicon gas drops (you can buy them at wal-mart, target, or any pharmacy) I usually just give him some of those after he eats and he burps easy.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

First off Congratulations on your new additions to your family!!! I personally don't believe in supplementing. There are just no healthful benefits for doing this. The constant gas you are describing is most likely from the formula. Combining formula and breastmilk is very h*** o* their little stomachs. Formula proteins are much larger and take much longer to digest. Supplementing will also diminish your supply greatly.

As for the sleep issues at night...
I would definitly try getting them to reverse their schedule although at 2 weeks they are still very very young. Try white noise like an air purifier, fan, or white noise machine. Also try classical music turned down real low. It will take lots of time and patience but soon they will be reversed. Never turn on the lights or talk to them while awake at the "wrong time". Try keeping them up for longer periods during the day. This was hard for us as well as it's hard to keep a newborn interested in anything. We just tried playing eye games and moving his legs so he couldn't get really comfortable and snuggly to fall asleep. Good Luck to you and your family!!!

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I put my daughter in front of a window during the day to sleep. I don't think that you can keep them up during the day. They sleep all the time. Just swaddle them up tight and put their bassinet in front of the window. Something about the sunshine in their face duing the day and a nice cozy dark room at night helps them regulate their schedule. The sunlight will regulate their melatonin and keep it low during the day and higher at night so that they will sleep better. I swear by it. Also, carry on with regular day life around them during the day. Don't keep things too quite. My daugher was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks...and she was six weeks premie...
Also remember the 5 S's
Swaddling, Side sleeping, Shhhshing, Swinging, Sucking
Google it.....there are lots of good websites that explaing it....

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi R. -

My daughter just turned three this week, but I remember the newborn days very clearly. She woke up every 2-3 hours regardless of day or night, though night was sometimes worse. The only thing I got to work were the "S" suggestions in Happiest Baby on the Block. There is a DVD if you don't have time to read (which I didn't). Swaddling with the Miracle Blanket and swinging worked best for us.

Good luck. It gets better.

S.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

Wow! That is rough. I breastfed my daughter also and until she was older she wanted to eat every hour also. Things will get better once they are older you just have to survive as best you can. Let people help you, eat a lot to keep up your energy and possibly consider letting the babies sleep with you. I let my daughter sleep with me and she nursed during the night & I barely had to wake up. I've heard from people who formula fed that their babies would sleep longer during the night because formula isn't as easily digestable as breastmilk. It's really just their age and I think that things will get much better for you after 3 months. It's really important that you take good care of yourself during this time even though I know you are really busy with the babies. Your health and well being determine how good of a mother you can be. Good luck and Congratulations!!

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

R.,

lots of good advice here. Most new babies will sleep all day and be up all night until you teach them differently. We teach Dr Karps method of baby soothing to help you understand how to help them without hourly feedings, and yes we do use a day time feeding schedule of waking babies to help prevent the "all night long" awake time.Please call us to schedule a class. We have a 3 hour class this saturday you, daddy, grandma or anyone can attend. It is here in Grapevine at the Nestingplace, call ###-###-#### for more information.
K.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Here's my two cents. This is a hard time for new mommies, so just take a deep breath and know that it won't be like this forever! Children of ALL ages including new babies thrive for a schedule. You have to be the one to make that schedule in the beginning. Check out the "happiest baby on the block" series (or something like that). It walks you through how to get them on a good healthy schedule from day one for the WHOLE family! If you stick to it, it only takes a day or two to work.

It tells you when to swaddle them, when to play, how long to feed, when NOT to play or feed etc!

Let me know if you'd like more info! My best friend just used it on her now 4 week old daughter and it worked like a charm for her! :o) Best of luck! Keep your chin up, no matter what! If you get frustrated, don't ignore it either! Its normal to be overwhelmed at this stage especially with two! You can't just sit on all those emotions! If you need someone to chat with, do not hesitate!!! :o)

~T.~

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

My sister just had twins boys about 6 weeks ago, and she went through the exact same thing at the beginning. She was breastfeeding and was only getting about an hour of sleep at a time, so she started supplementing formula at night. There's nothing wrong with supplementing formula. Her multiples class instructor told her that any breast milk she could give them was better than none. She has started waking them during the day so that they are more tired at night, and also swaddles them at night. Once she started swaddling them, they started sleeping for 3-4 hours at night. My son was born in Jan. 07, and for him I read the book The Happiest Baby on the Block. There's some nonsense in that book, but the advice on the 5 S's works great!

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

babies are generally iffy during the first month from having seen my siblings grow...they're hungry because they want the calories to burn, them eating as much as they do isn't necessarily a bad thing, but babies sleeping all night that's a miracle if they do. they catnap. They have to be put in a rhythm which you're supposed to try and start while they're in utero. Letting them sleep ALL DAY is not a wise thing if you want to sleep at night, and them being fussy is normal, they're babies, they don't know what else to do with themselves. I don't know what to suggest on getting their rhythms together now, but good luck to you darlin...oh, btw, formula fed babies are generally a little more cranky from what I'm told, they have more gas n such compared to breastfed babies...

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

My little girl did the same thing, what I did, I would try and keep her awake during the day a little more. I know it's hard beacuse it's nice when they are quite, but it does help a lot. Don't let them sleep every hour, play with them, keep them awake, or try to at least, they're only 2 weeks old. You could also try getting a mama bear, it worked wonders on my daughter. It's a bear where it has a heart beat, sold at most Wal-Marts. Also, try the Johnson & Johnson night time bath with lavender and chamomille. It also ready help. Let's see, lavender is very smoothing, and helps anyone sleep. Maybe get a lavender scented air freshener in the room to help. :) Good luck.

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi R.,

I'd also like to recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth to you. It was truly a lifesaver for me during those newborn months. I find those first three months the most challenging. I hope things settle down soon.

C.

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R.W.

answers from Denver on

Hi, Congratulations on your new babies. You can read this in most pediatric books and I am sure you pediatrician will tell you the same thing. What your babies are doing is totally normal. Yes, some babies come out knowing day from night...but some don't. Their brains do not produce melatonin at high levels until 12 weeks of age. Melatonin helps the human brain know day from night and have regular sleep cycles. This is also true in elderly people, they have reduced melatonin.

Yes, this is a tough time for you and your husband and I PROMISE they will start sleeping more and more...especially with longer stretches at night. I have three children and really 12 weeks seems to be around the magic time when the fog lifts. Right around the time their brains are maturing.

You should really read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Or talk to you pediatrician.

Just get as much rest as you can and hang in there!!!!

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Wow, your babies have their days and nights mixed up. This happens and you have to get them back on track. Try keeping them up longer during the day specially two or three hours before their bed time. You have to be consistent with them and stick to the routine. They will get used to it in a couple of days. If they sleep all day they won't be sleepy at all at night which is why they are staying up for so long. Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from Dallas on

R.,

What a whirlwind for you! A new marriage and twins already! Congratulations on all the exciting changes in your life!

I have 3-month old twin girls. I never had as much of a problem with them staying up all night, but the feeding thing was maddening. Please know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My girls are 14 weeks old and they just started sleeping through the night (from 8:00 p.m. - 6:00 a.m.). Here's how I did it:

I'm not usually a "regimented" person, but this system works, and when you have twins, you automatically go into survival mode, just to get through the tough times.

First - make sure the boys get a full feeding every time they eat.

Next - keep them awake for just a little while (maybe 15 minutes)

Then - swaddle them or just lay them down in their crib while they're awake... this will teach them to go to sleep on their own. You should be on a 2 1/2 - 3-hour cycle with feedings and naps. So, if you start feeding them at 12:00 noon, they eat until 12:30 - 12:45... they're awake until 1:00 and then they're napping from 1 - 3. I know this is "perfect world" scenario, but just do the best you can to get them on this routine.

** IF they don't wake up when it's time to eat - DO wake them up. It's not bad to wake a sleeping baby. Of course everyone has differing opinions on the subject, so just do what you're comfortable with. But, in the first few months of my twins' schedules, it was tough to get them onto a routine. But following this routine will help them get better at not needing to eat (or snack) every hour and will help them sleep better because they have sufficient calories/nutrition at night.

Just a word of caution - try your best not to nurse them to sleep. You will most likely wind up needing to rock them or nurse them to sleep every time they need to take a nap and you won't have time to do anything else. Of course you hold/snuggle and cuddle with them while they're awake, but if you set the pace now, your life will be much easier down the road. I have 3-month old twins and a 3-year old and I have time to play with my 3-year old, pick up the house and make dinner every day because I "stuck to it" when it was difficult and it paid off in the end.

Sorry if this sounds too regimented for you. Like I said - everyone has differing opinions, but having twins and a household to run, I had to do something so I have time for myself and the rest of my family and responsibilities.
Feel free to email me if you want more information. ____@____.com of luck. Hang in there - it does get better - SOON!
K.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

I have twin girls as well. In the beginning it did seem they would awaken often. We always made sure to feed them at the same time. While breast feeding I would feed one and wake up the other to eat right after the 1st one was done. Once I decided to go to bottles only one would change the babies while the other made the bottles and we would each feed one. That way they would sleep at the same time. Ours did eat about every 2 hours at least. It will get more consistant as time goes on just hang in there. If you need any other advice or help let me know. My twins are 6 monhs now so what you're going through is fresh on my mind. LOL

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

I have twin boys too. Who ever told you to not wake a sleeping baby doesn't know much about baby nutrition. EVERY NICU and Baby Nursery in the country wakes up their babies to feed every 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours during the day. The daytime feeding schedule is how babies learn to sleep through the night. So have a set first feeding time during the day and then feed every 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours during the daytime.

Also, overstimulated babies don't go to sleep easily or stay asleep. Your little guys only need about 40-45 min of total awake time including feeding before they go back to sleep. At night, after feeding and burping put them right back to sleep.

I also recommend swaddling very snugly. We did it until our twins were almost 5 months old.

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R.J.

answers from Dallas on

You've had a lot of advice so I will keep it short. You should be waking the babies every 2-3 hours for them to feed in order for them to go longer stretches at night between feedings. I fed my son without fail every 2 then later every 3 hours and he was sleeping 9 hours by 3 months. Good luck!

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