Upcoming Custody Evaluation

Updated on January 25, 2010
J.S. asks from Worthington, MN
5 answers

I will be going through a custody evaluation through Hennepin County Family Courts this Thursday and don't know what to expect. Although I know that I have not done anything to be worried about, and have always made my daughter my top priority, I am nervous. Anyone been through this? Any advice?

A little background-My husband walked out on us almost a year ago, after I discovered the extent of his sexual addiction (it was controlling his life, he said; he was soliciting random strangers for sex on Craigslist) and a week after his suicide attempt. He told me he was going to stay with his parents to "get help so he could be a better husband & father". Instead, he filed for divorce and will not make any efforts to salvage our marriage. I have been an unwilling participant in the divorce proceedings, but due to his issues, I have concerns about my daughter's safety with him. He has not been alone with her for almost a year (she will be 2 in March).

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I went through a custody eval about 2yrs ago in Ramsey cty. The gentleman came to the house and walked through the home checked out my daughters room and all of the other rooms then observed us eat dinner and play a board game it was a little weird because he really would not say anything he just sat there and wrote notes. kinda srange and akward but really just wanted to observe our life. I hope this helps you please feel free to contact me if you have any other q's.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Wow. I am sorry that you are going through this. I haven't been through a court hearing, but if this were me, here is what I would be sure to take with me to the hearing.
1. A lawyer.
2. Any emails to strangers, copies of any police reports.
3. A copy of the craigslist postings
4. Any reports about the attempted suicide.
5. Letters from family memebers, your daughter's dr., etc. giving character support for you.

Hugs.
M.

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L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would be surprised if you didn't get custody, but think about what you feel would be safe for visitation. I would not settle for joint custody unless I felt very safe doing it (no doubts). He might ask for it so his child support will be less.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm sorry you are going through this. I was involved in a custody evaluation along with my husband for his children several years ago in Ramsey County. I remember being nervous, but the evaluator was very nice and it was quite relaxed. She met us at our house and talked with us. She asked a series of questions, but mainly just to get us to talk about the situation, what our concerns were, and what we thought was best for the children. We were not allowed to have a lawyer with us. We were not asked to present any documentation or "evidence". If you haven't talked with a lawyer yet, I would suggest doing that.

The recommendation of the evaluator is taken seriously by the judge. The biggest lesson I learned through our years of court/lawyer/evaluator/mediator involvement is that the court system and all involved are NOT logical or rational. They say they are there for the "best interest of the child", but they only follow the law. It will be your responsibility to do the best for your daughter no matter what the court decides. Good luck!

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K.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

I didn't know exactly what a custody "evaluation" was so I looked it up, and this page tells all about it:
http://www.nvo.com/beaulier/custodyinhennepincounty/

It says you should have a parent questionnaire, collateral references, and that psychological evaluations can be done as well.

I would definitely talk to a lawyer if you haven't already since it sounds like this is pretty important:
"How well you prepare for your Hennepin County custody evaluation may have a critical effect on the outcome of your case. As you may already know, the recommendation of a custody evaluator can hold great sway with the court. You should always consult with a lawyer regarding custodial issues and evaluations. "

Sorry I can't help more! Good luck

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