We Are at Wits End...

Updated on August 23, 2007
L.M. asks from Chicago, IL
31 answers

Hello,

We have a 9 monh old daughter who until the past couple weeks, was a great sleeper. I know it can be a few things. She doesn't have teeth yet, nor can we see anything coming through. We USED to be able to put her down slightly awake and she would sleep through the night.

The past couple weeks have been just hell. Our usual bedtime routine starts at 7:15-7:30. We give her a bottle and lay her in the crib. A little background....she started a routine with naps - 11 & about 2 a few months ago. These last from 30 minutes to 90 minutes. She does this alone as well. We went back to her old 7:15 routine, BUT she wakes up screaming 15 minutes (TO THE MINUTE) after we lay her down. Since this started we tried different things...putting her to bed later, letting her cry it out (last night I could only take 1 hour). If we let her cry she wakes so upset she starts to shake. This isn't worth it, but we have no night life. We have been trying to watch a movie for the past two weekends and just cannot do it. We are so tired out when the night is through. We found that when we put her down at 7:15 this entire ordeal ends around 9:30. We put her down later, it ends at 10:30ish. Personally I cannot take it. I get crabby and cannot even have a coversation with my husband, because this upsets me so much. A few times she would literally fall asleep while feeding her dinner, so we know she's tired. Why is she doing this? How can we fix it? Before all of this started we did the cry it out thing a little. Now that she can pull herself up in her crib, she just screams (I mean scream) toward the door. Tonight we started at 7:50. She drank her bottle, she went to sleep...15 minutes went by...she was awake crying. I went in picked her up....it takes a few minutes to calm her down and she finally went to sleep, then woke up at 10 crying.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Hi Everyone....first thank you all for your advice and support. Rose is doing much better. We tried the Ferber Method. I felt/feel allot better being to able to go in & look in on her and not leave her crying. Believe it or not, I gave her a little white bunny and she sleeps with it. I was afraid to, but she's not waking up anymore. Something so small can make a difference. So far so good...I don't want to jinx ourselves.

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L.L.

answers from Chicago on

Hi there L.,

Do remember that teething has 2 stages. First when the teeth comes down into the gums and then when they finally cut. Both are equally painful to her although you can only see the second part. It is worse for them when they are lying down, so use the Tylenol for a few nights if you have to. Have a dose would already make her feel better and it can not harm her. I asked my pediatritian.

Secondly the crying-out does not mean to let her cry without any consoling, but don't pick her up. Stroke her back and her head, if she can pull to a standing position, give her a hug and gently ease her down. Don't let her cry for more then 15 min at a time they way she does not feel abandoned and she learns that when its bedtime and she goes into her crib, its time to sleep and she does not come out until morning. We did all the above with my 13 month old and although incredibly hard, it worked.

I hope this helps. Take heart in the fact that this fase to shall pass.

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H.J.

answers from Chicago on

Letting your daughter cry it out doesn't mean without any consoling. It's important for her to know that you're still there and you love her. Try Ferber's method. Contrary to what many people think, he's against just letting your child cry. Let her cry for 3 minutes, and then check on her. Soothe her by talking to her, stroking her face or back, whatever will make her feel better. But don't pick her up. Stay with her for a minute or two, but not any longer. If after you leave she's still crying, check on her again in 5 minutes. If she's still crying when you leave, check on her again in 7 minutes. Repeat the 7 minute interval as long as she's crying that first night.

The book will go into more detail on how to increase the intervals between checking each night. The first couple of chapters on sleeping are really interesting. It took me a few days to read it, but it really helped a lot with our son. He'll be 5 months in a week, and he was having a really terrible time sleeping. Now he can settle himself back into sleep when he wakes up between cycles. It's like we have our life back. I won't lie to you, the first night was incredibly tough. But we all survived. The next night was easier, and last night was the 4th night and he didn't cry once. He's really responded well.

I wouldn't be able to let our son cry for an hour uninterrupted, that's just not good for anyone. Go pick up Ferber's book "How to Solve your Child's Sleep Problems." It's really humane and it worked really well for us and for our son.

Good luck.
H.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.,

I feel your pain...it's hard to listen to them cry and even harder when you know what's wrong, in this case, probably lack of sleep, but I agree having her checked out by her doctor to rule out ear infections is a good idea.

If that all checks out ok, I want to give you some advice based on my experiences and the advice of our Pediatrician. He's a sleep expert and has written books about sleeping, but generally he would say sleep equals sleep....the more a baby sleeps the more they will sleep and the easier it will be for them to fall asleep. First of all, you might want to try getting her to bed earlier rather than later. Start her bedtime routine at 6:00 or 6:30 so she's in bed no later than 6:30 or 7:00. This way you're getting her into bed before she's over tired. My other suggestion has to do with naps. I've been told that a baby has to nap for an hour for the sleep to be considered recooperative. If she's only taking 30 minute naps on certain days you might notice that those days she's a little fussier to go to sleep. If our baby wakes before an hour has gone by I leave her in there for a while to see if she will fall back to sleep. This may be difficult for you to do if your baby wakes up crying.

I don't want to push a particular method on you and tell you to go buy a book, but if you're in the store and see our pediatrician's book, you might want to skim it. Since we've followed his advice our 11 month old sleeps for 11-12 hours at night and takes 2 1-2 hour naps. She very rarely cries when we put her to bed (unless she's over tired) and even if she doesn't go to sleep right away she just babbles to herself until she does...oh and she also doesn't cry when she wakes up...again, just babbling until we pick her up.

Anyway, if you're interested, the book is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. The book also discusses other options to crying it out if you're not comfortable with that. When we started "sleep training" it took about 3 nights of crying for no longer than 15-20 minutes and then she slept like an angel....I wish I could sleep like her. :)

Please feel free to email me if you have any questions. I'm a first time mom with baby #2 on the way and I know how daunting it can all be and how we need to shut off at the end of a long day.

Good luck!
C.

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

We had this issue with our first.
I would try putting her to bed earlier. 6 or 6:30. Make sure you have a definate bedtime routine. It sounds like she's might be overtired. Notice what time she starts to get sleepy then start your bedtime routine about 15 minutes before, even if it's dinner time, feed her sooner. Last winter we were eating dinner at 4:30-5 because my girls then 2 and 3 were going to bed at 6. Sometimes kids bedtime does not fit in our schedule. Try reading "healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Mark weissbluth.
The good news is, you won't have this problem with any second or 3rd children ;)

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N.M.

answers from Chicago on

Haven't read other responses, just wanted to chime in that it's usually at 9 months that they actually have the memory of you and they miss you. I saw an episode of Supernanny where the little one would do the same so SN told the mommy she thought the little guy was afraid of the separation, told the mommy she needs to sit next to the crib, the room dark (nightlight if necessary) just so she knows you are there, and let her cry it out standing at the crib. What she has learned so far is that all she needs to do is hold out and you will eventually respond. If you are in the room w/ her, already responding as it were, she will sit and cry (scream) at you for your attention... On the SN show, the little boy cried for 1.5 hrs the first night (yes the mother was losing it the whole time, but SN stayed w/ her at the doorway giving her encouragement, maybe your hub can do that?), the second night was 45 mins, the 3rd 15 mins, the 4th they were able to put him in crib and he would fall asleep. Also, each night the mother would move a few feet further from the crib until she was sitting by the door by 4th night... It was a retraining thing i guess, and the little boy would literally fall asleep whimpering. If you have the 4 evenings to donate, or maybe 5 or 6, or maybe 3... who knows... good luck, if you do try this.

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C.W.

answers from Chicago on

Amanda and Naomi are right on target. Make sure there are no medical issues. I would then say, I don't care if it is babies or adults. When someone calls out for help, and is consistently ignored, they will figure out pretty fast that they are not a priority and cannot depend on people to respond to their needs. Of course they are going to stop trying.
I have an idea as to what I would like to do to this Ferber person but will spare you that. I also think that some parents like to sight "studies" that serve their own needs and not those of their children. I am not suggesting that YOU are doing this. I AM suggesting that some of the responders are.
There are numerous studies showing just the opposite....that babies under 12 months cry because they need something. That is how they communicate. Sad that we go through more to get a drivers license than to qualify for raising a human being. There is a difference between fussing and "HELP!". Responsible parents conduct themselves accordingly. You DO need your sleep, no question. Sleep deprivation is the worst sort of "torture". I have witnessed it first hand and it is horrible. Can you take a nap? Can you switch off with your husband or relative/occasional sitter? ......and this too shall pass.

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

I'm sorry you're having a hard time but just wanted to say that parenting doesn't end when the sun goes down. Of course we all need a break sometimes but your daughter is obviously telling you that something is wrong and that she NEEDS YOU.

Waking up about 15 minutes after falling asleep hysterical actually sounds pretty characteristic of night terrors, in which case she just needs you to hold/comfort her until she can fall back asleep.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

First of all, the cry it out method is horrible from a baby's point of view. If they are voicing a need and you aren't meeting it, then they get even MORE frustrated. Crying is the only form of communication your baby has with you. It tells you she NEEDS something. Babies aren't manipulative!

Second, I'm not sure I can say this without being judgemental.... can you not hold her and watch the news? or a movie? I'm sure this would be less frustrating (you wouldn't have to hear her cry and she would be happier as well!)

Babies go through a lot of things at a lot of stages... it seems like it lasts forever when in reality it is very brief. Try to stay calm and realize it won't last forever.

Maybe she's hungry and going through a growth spurt. It won't "train" her to wake up for a bottle if you give her one to get through this stage.

Maybe she's teething and wants something icy to gnaw on. Try Hyland's teething tablets (they have them at Meijer and Walgreens.) You could do this right before bed as well and it might get her past the "hump" of waking at 15 minutes.

Maybe she is getting an ear ache- there is a horrible cold going around right now (ask me how I know- UGH!) Can you try to prop her up on a wedge so that if it's drainage it will not run into her eustacian tubes in her ears? You can put the wedge under her head or under the crib mattress.

It could also be reflux- is she spitting up at all? I get acid in my throat at night and it's horrible- I would cry too if I was her age! Again, the wedge might help with that.

I would try putting her down earlier too- sometimes being OVERtired means the baby has a harder time settling down. It sounds like if she's falling asleep in her dinner, this could be the case. Why not try a night at 6:30 and try to have her asleep by 7? I would make sure her room is totally dark too- light can really impact babies' sleep sometimes. White noise might help too.

Being a mom is hard- sometimes you have to sacrifice rather than compromise! Try to stay cool though- getting upset will only make HER more upset as well. Hang in there! In a few weeks, this will probably be a distant memory!

:)
M.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

We struggled with the same thing. The crying out thing does work. It's painful and my husband and I both cried during the process but it works. We followed the Ferber method. You set the timer for 5 minutes and if she is crying vigorously after the 5 you go in the room.... you DON"T pick her up just calmly tell her you love her and will see her in the morning but it's time for bed. Then you leave (she will cry louder). Next you set the timer for 10 minutes and if she is crying vigorously (that is part of the thing.... if she is only whining not really crying don't go in) you go in and rub her back...tell her you love her and leave. Really limit the time you are in the room... .just a minute or so. Add five minutes to the timer every time you leave....Decide what your max time is.... Ours was 20 minutes. It's hard but it works. If you pick her up....she will know you will give it. It's hard but it really does work and it's totally worth it. The first night was bad.... it was almost two hours.... the second night was better .... 30 minutes and by the third night she was great. If you want to read the actual book it is by Dr. Richard Ferber.. Solving your child's sleep problems. My little one is three and she still goes to sleep by her self. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Chances are it is teeth or maybe an ear infection have you ruled that out at the doctor? Have you given tylenol?

This next statement is going to come out way worse than I mean it to ...but welcome to parenthood - the movies and the news can wait, if your biggest problem is not being able to watch TV for a couple of nights/weekend you ought to thank your lucky stars that is the only issue.

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L.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.!
After reading the responses other have left I am here to lend support--not judge you as many other are rudely doing. There are two opposing views on "cry it out" and way too many oppinionated people being judgemental. If this is not their method of choice they should keep their opinions to themselves. It is NOT harmful!!!

That being said I can sympathize with you and your feelings. Yes, you are a mom, but you need a life too!! It is healthy to desire time alone away from your child and the peace of them sleeping alone in their crib--that is the way it is meant to be in my opinion. My son only had problems waking at night when he was teething so you may want to try Motrin 1/2 hour before bedtime. Has she shown any other signs? Drooling? Gnawing on things? Have you tried a teething ring?
After you rule out a medical problem I would try the Ferber method and don't give in and pick her up. They are testing their boundaries at this age. She just needs to get the message that she has no choice but to sleep. Another thing we do is play soft music every night on a CD player. It really seems to calm him down to fall asleep and even works in the middle of the night if he cries. We just put the music back on and leave and he calms himself to sleep.

Good luck with getting through this tough phase!!
L.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

L.-

Two other thoughts- perhaps she has an ear infection. They tend to bother babies more at night when they lay down. Another thought, what is in the bottle you are giving her? It could be giving her gas or upsetting her stomach. My daughter wasn't a good burper and had numerous issues with gas.

Hope it's just the teething because that has a definite end.

M.

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A.F.

answers from Chicago on

Honestly, all I can say is that it will get better. My little guy is now almost 11 months and went through a similar phase when he got his first teeth (two at the same time! at about 9.5 months) Those teeth can be a serious source of pain. Just imagine.....
We gave our little guy some motrin before bed for a few nights and it seemed to work.
Good luck.

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R.M.

answers from Chicago on

You've received all sorts of advice. I have a strange piece of advice that worked with my daughter. She was relaxing, then peeing into her diaper. She then realized that she was wet and didn't like it. When I put her to bed at night in diapers that were one size larger, and held more, she was drier and slept better. It may not work this time, but maybe will at some point in the future.

Good luck. I agree, it's hard!

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R.L.

answers from Chicago on

Even Richard Ferber has changed his stance on crying it out. Lots of other good ideas and reassurances here. Remember, babies grow up!

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi!
Well, there could be a couple things going on. Our son slept through the night great as well for a couple of months until he learned to stand in his crib. Then he stood in his crib and yelled and it took about an hour for him to fall asleep. It was not fun.
Ok, I would give you a couple suggestions...maybe try to put her to bed earlier. And I think you said she's a little bit awake when you put her down? Well, I would change that as well. Run through your betime ritual (bottle, reading or bath) as usual and then put her down in the crib while she's fully awake. Also, and this is not encouraging, she might be testing you out. OUr son did that too. Kids like to test the waters and see what they can get away with. If you think it might be teething, I would put some gel on her gums right as you put her down. That helped our son when he was getting his teeth.
Good luck. And if you are at your wits end, you might want to try this book (you can buy it online and start reading it right away) Sleep Sense
Good luck!

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H.S.

answers from Chicago on

This could be teeth coming in. I would suggest getting some Hyland's Teething Tablets. They are all natural and work wonders. Try that for a couple nights and see if it helps. You can find them at Meijers in the baby area or cheaper at Fruitful Yield. Our daughter didn't get her first tooth until she was 9 1/2 months old and then 2 weeks later she had another one. I think that she is working on more. It is a tough time. She's 10 1/2 months old. For about 3-4 months before 9 mths we went through the same ordeal of the crying and taking 2 hrs to go to bed. She went from being a great baby to put herself to sleep to having to finally nurse to sleep after an hour or more of crying and cuddling. Just keep giving her what she needs and she should get past it eventually. We'll be thinking about you.

Take care,
H.

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N.O.

answers from Chicago on

How frustrating. I've been there. It sounds like she may be distracted not only by new skills but also a new awareness of what is going on around her. She knows you are leaving her, what door you go through, etc. There is no set time limit on when this will pass. The best luck I have had with my girls (3.5y and 17m) is sticking to the routine and toughing it out. Going outside away from the noise may help. If one of you can handle it better than the other, then one of you can go take a walk or run an errand. Also, since she's no longer an infant/new born (and you've ruled out any physical ailment, etc), put in your ear plugs, run a fan, and turn off the monitor for 3 nights. Also, I have discovered that sometimes new habits form from attempts to ease the child's and your furstrations ~ habits that might not be fun to keep up.

Hang in there!

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

We had a similiar situation. I tried anything and everything. The only thing I could think of WHY it was happening was - major teething, major growth spurt, heartburn, beginning of attachment phase. Unfortunately, nothing really seemed to help but my twinkies out grew it. My son was worse than my daughter. We would give teething tablets or some tylenol on occasion and that would help sometimes... so you could try that? Maybe try putting some white noise in the room or play a cd with music? Hang in there. It's hard!

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

I have to agree with putting her down earlier, as the other post said, start at 6:30. Overtired babies have a very hard time getting to sleep, as the brain produces a chemical to keep them up if it thinks it needs to -- which would definitely be produced if she is falling asleep at dinner, she then has to keep herself up. Even starting 15-30 minutes earlier could make a big difference. Good luck!

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

I haven't read anyone else's comments, but I'm sure you got tons of great advise. My advise is not easy, but it will work. Grab the book "Babywise" and retrain your schedule to disassociate feeding and sleeping. It won't be an instant cure, but in the long run (meaning for the next important years), your daughter will enjoy really good, quality sleep. Not everything in the book is so dead one, but their eat-play-sleep pattern is so well done. You'll probably have to read the whole book to make sure you don't miss any important topics, but it's a quick read and will be worth it.

Might I also suggest getting her one of the wonderful chamois crib sheets from Pottery Barn kids. :-) It's no joke when I tell you that my son sleeps noticeably better when that soft sheet is on his matress (I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is too true!).

I wish you good sleep soon!!!!

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

I can understand why some of the other responses are a tiny bit unsympathetic - you really have no idea how lucky you've been up until now! Congratulations on having such an awesome little sleeper so far. But I certainly understand why a big change of sleep habits can be maddening.

My second son went through a terrible sleep phase at about 9 months (he would be awake in the middle of the night) and I do think maybe there's something about the age that makes things hard. In a month or two, things improved a lot. It might just be a phase - my 3.5 year old still has times every few months when he'll wake up at night and climb into bed with us for a night or two. And then whatever anxiety is going on goes away and he's fine for another few months.

I agree with what a couple of other people have said about looking at her total sleep and the schedule of her day and maybe moving bedtime earlier. If you've ever been super-tired and nodded off and then jerked awake, that's what seems to happen with babies when they are overtired. That's what happened to my first son - naps were just hell, 20 minutes and he'd wake up (and I never found a perfect solution - I think he was slightly overtired during the day for years, although always a good night sleeper.)

Both the Ferber and Weissbluth books have great charts and recommendations for specific sleep issues. I think it was Weissbluth who talks about moving the morning nap around in order to change night sleep habits. I'm sorry I don't have the book any longer to look it up, but you should be able to find it at the library.

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

my only other thought is have you she started on a new food? Does she scream after 15 min in bed even with different previous milk times? My dd has food allergies, so that's where my mind goes.

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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds to me like the problem with her going to sleep at night is really her lack of naps during the day. At 9 mths old I would think she should be getting two good naps. 30 -90 min is not long enough. Sleep really does beget sleep. The more they sleep the better sleepers they are. I would try getting those afternoon naps extended to at least one 2-3 hr nap.It sounds like she is overly tired at night. Don't go in right away. Let her cry a bit. We run a fan or a white noise machine & it really helps my daughter sleep.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L., I have a cousin who had the same issue, it turned out he had a sleeping disorder, it seemed he never got to the final sleep stage and would wake up screaming and crying, while still in one off his other sleeping stages, sorry I know it's confusing. Maybe you should consult your doctor. Good Luck!

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

My 1 1/2 yr old goes to bed by 7, maybe start the routine at 6:30 and move betime to an earlier time?

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K.V.

answers from Chicago on

I can't say for sure why she's waking up so often, however we're going through the same thing with our 10 month old and she is getting more teeth (she already has 8!) At any rate, she did the same thing at 7 mos when she was getting her 4 top teeth so i know the signs. She also has a cold due to the teeth, which we can't see yet either. I would give her Tylenol or motrin, whichever you prefer and see if it helps. Sadly, with ours (she is our third child) we really had to wait it out. We do medicine and it helps some, but it always gets better when the teeth come in.

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

My Mom taught me this trick with my first, and it has helped me tremendously with both of my children. Put them to bed earlier. Babies need 12-14 hours of sleep a day. So if she's having one of those days where she only naps an hour total and she wakes a t 7 am let's say, put her down at six pm...especially if she is falling asleep at dinner. SHe may wake up a little earlier the next day, or not, but who cares, less crabby household. The cry it out works for some not for others, my son was the type who needed to cry for a little bit to wind down at the end of the day, and he would be asleep within 15 minutes, my daughter however just winds up if we let her cry it out to the point where she wwill make her self throw up. The other thing I was going to say about frequent night waking is it could just be the she has began to uinderstand that she has the power to say no...great milestone for baby...not so great for you. Have you tried switching up her routine a little...maybe go for a quick walk after dinner, a nice bath, story or songs, bottle and then bed. The other thing too, I know when my kids wake up a lot it is usually the beginning of some sort of ear infection or sinus infection, maybe have her doctor check...not all kids have the telltale signs of pulling on their ears and such...a lot of kids aare perfectly happy during the day, and then night time hits with no distractions, and all they can focus on is their discomfort. I hope this helps and hang in there. I think when you have previously good sleep and they convert to a not so great sleeper it is harder than having a baby who just never was a great sleeper. I've done it both ways. My son was up good majority of his forst year and half of life ( mostly doe to being premature and chronic ear infections) my daughter was sleeping through the night a 2 months old...but began getting up a lot around nine months too (she just turned one last week)...and I find tha tmore frustrating than the first one. Good luck, and try to get a baysitter so you and hubby can go out for a bit

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

without reading your entire detailed description of what you do at night with your baby I can tell you it is likely that it will last a little bit like this - probably its teething but not always the case. They go through stages...Also, teething is not necessarily noticeable to you because the teeth are "cutting" way before you see it poking through. This can go on for a few weeks to a few months if its teething, depends on the baby. Just know that you are very blessed to have had her sleep as well as she did for as long as she did and that you will have that again soon enough. Try not to get so worked up and just know it does come to an end and then you wonder why you stressed. Loss of sleep is just part of the motherhood "deal" and you'll get through this. I do NOT advocate the cry out method especially in this situation and if she is crying she needs you. Good luck and be well. Hang in there. It'll all work out!

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E.V.

answers from Chicago on

Try putting her to bed a little earlier, like start her bedtime routine around 6 and to bed by 6:30pm, naps at 9am and 1pm. That's what I do with my 9 month old and for the most part she goes to sleep no problem. I also suggest getting this book: Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby by Weissbluth this is a super helpful book with great sleep tips, how much and when babies should sleep! Good luck!

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi,

I can sympathize - making sure your baby sleeps well is one of the most stressful things about being a mom. I agree about putting her down a little earlier, not later. And, in response to the SuperNanny post, I also agree with that approach. I don't remember at what age, but our son went through a regression while going to bed. He had been great and then all of a sudden he wouldn't let us leave. We had always put on a lullaby cd as part of his bedtime routine. In order to make it easier for us to keep track of time, my husband or I would (after bath, dressing, books) hold him for three songs, put him in the crib and sit next to him for three songs, move to the couch on the other side of the room for three songs and then leave the room. The whole routine probably took 15 minutes. Counting the songs really helped because it was an easy and objective signal to move away a little further. It also helped to sit on the floor next to the crib instead of standing. I found that he wanted to be near me, so if I sat, he would lay down to be closer. Then he'd often just stay laying down when I'd move away. It was also easier to rub his back that way - I'm short and have trouble reaching over the rails! And once you've left, if she's still crying after 5-10 minutes (or however long you can stand), you can always go back in to repeat the process. After a while, maybe hold her for three songs but then stay next to her and across the room for two, then one song. Wind it down until she gets used to it.

This can be really h*** o* you so I wish you luck. I think this thing happens with all babies as they get older - they just hit a transitional stage and all of a sudden everything goes out the window. Don't stress about talking to your doctor or sleep disorders or anything unusual like that. And for goodness sake, don't hold your (most likely crying) baby while you're watching the news. That is counterproductive and cannot be relaxing for either of you, which is the goal. Besides, I know you need a lot more than that to feel like yourself again!

It takes time and patience, but it'll pass :) I hope for you, too, that your husband will be behind you all the way and maybe even take turns. Being a team makes all the difference!

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