What Should I Do? - Memphis,TN

Updated on October 12, 2009
M.P. asks from Memphis, TN
24 answers

I will be moving into a house soon. I love the house but the one thing about this house is, my kids 2 bedroom will be up stair and the master bedroom will be down stair. The debate is letting my kids sleep upstair or downstair becuase at the house I'm staying at right now, all our bedroom is on one level. I need help on what to do.

My kids ages are 3 and 6.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

My children are the same age. We live in a Ranch home now but we plan to move to an upstairs at some point. If it were me, it would be hard at first but I would put a gate at the top of the stairs to prevent them getting up at night and being 1/2 asleep and falling down the stairs and I would also get a monitor for the 3 yr olds room. I actually still have the monitor in my 3 yr old's room. I rarely need it but there have been times when she has woken up sick or crying and I am able to get in there quickly. Don't worry too much, they will get used to it soon enough. I would recommend the gate at the top though in the beginning.

Congrats on the new home!

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C.C.

answers from Knoxville on

They'll be fine upstairs, and in ten years you are going to LOVE having the kids on a separate floor.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

thats a tough one i think it all depends on what makes you feel more comfortable i personally could never be on a diff floor than my kids. im just too scared of fires and things like that. but do what makes YOU feel better

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C.R.

answers from Knoxville on

I would give it a try to see how it works out. Is there an option to move your bedroom space is near theirs or vice versa?

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Our house set up the same way. Since we have 2 boys they share one room upstairs and we made a room next to it into our bedroom.Big bedroom downstairs we turned into playroom.
I worry about being too far from my kids during the night(story on the news last week about a fire in the house with 2 boys upstairs and dad sleeping dowstairs did not help.....thankfully they were saved when neighbor got a ladder and dad got them out of the window).My 2 cents.

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L.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Are there three bedrooms upstairs or just two? If there are 3 upstairs, you could use the third one for yourself and use the downstairs master as a playroom or study until the kids are a little older. Even if there are only 2 bedrooms upstairs, you could have the kids share one, and you could take the other. I would be worried about them leaving their rooms and falling down the stairs in the middle of the night. You could put up a gate though at the top of the stairs, the kind you mount to the wall? in an emergency though it might be hard for them to get downstairs though if they needed to. Good luck with your decision!

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F.K.

answers from Charlotte on

My house is similar. My master bedroom suite is downstairs and my other two bedrooms are upstairs. My two sons sleep upstairs in their rooms. They are 9 months old (in a crib) and 3 1/2 (toddler bed). I have a really good gate at the top of the stairs. I was concerned about it at first but it has worked out well for us. Both thier rooms are directly above my room so even without the baby monitor on, I can hear them pretty well, especially when my toddler gets up and his feet hit the floor. He can't come downstairs without me because of the gate and that helps me not worry about him falling down the stairs. I do have a baby monitor in both rooms just in case I am sleeping too soundly and I don't hear them. I recommend you put an emergency rope ladder in each room just in case of fire. I was concerned about it at first too but now I think it's great. I hope this helps.

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D.G.

answers from Chattanooga on

First off how old are your kids? Secondly i think think if you had issues with the sleeping arrangements you should halve thought of it when house hunting. Depending on how old they are and the type of stairs it should be fine letting them sleep upstairs

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L.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Our house is set up the same way. Both my kids sleep upstairs and they have since they were 1, and my husband and I sleep downstairs. We had a baby monitor until this last year (my youngest is now 4). We have had no problems and I actually enjoy having a little bit more privacy. When they were toddlers, we invested in baby gates (One Step Ahead makes a great roll up shade type for the top of the stairs). I learned to run up stairs quickly, and we have nightlights near the stairs.

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A.C.

answers from Charleston on

I have the oppsite problem my master is upstairs and the kids rooms are downstairs and I put baby montiors in both rooms (digital monitors prevent interference) so I can hear if they need me of if they get up etc.... In your case with your oldest one being 6 you can teach her safty things like how to use a fire excape ladder and to help her sister in case of a fire. You will like having them on a seperate floor later on in life believe me.

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J.J.

answers from Nashville on

We moved into a house about a year ago in the exact same situation. My 7 year old was fine sleeping upstairs with us downstairs. We also have a 9 month old that stayed in our room until he was about 4 months old and then we moved him upstairs with a monitor. It seems to be working out fine. You may just want to talk to the kids to let them know that even though they are upstairs and you are downstairs that you are still there with them and they can come get you if they need to.

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P.K.

answers from Raleigh on

Our master is downstairs also. My 2 year old stays upstairs by herself. The kids will be fine. You can always have a locksmith come by and put a dead bolt on the door.

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S.A.

answers from Raleigh on

I grew up in a house where my parents slept downstairs and the kids slept upstairs, though babies under a year usually stayed in my parent's downstairs bedroom so my mom wasn't running up and down the stairs during the night. If your children are young and safety is an issue, put a gate at the top of the stairs on in their bedroom doorways. Also, baby monitors work on on separate floors, so put a monitor in the upstairs bedroom(s) so that you can hear them if they are sick or have nightmares.

A lot will depend on how old your children are. Without that information, it's difficult to understand exactly what your concern is. Children adapt and though it may take a few weeks for them to get used to sleeping in their new room, they will be fine.

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R.U.

answers from Nashville on

hi. it all depends on if this is a house you are buying, if so build a door upstairs and put in a metal stair case for emergancies only. good luck. i know how you feel. we almost bought a house like that and i told hubby only if we put in a door through the attic part to the back of house with metal stairs. sale fell through but it just wasn't where the lord wanted us to be at that time. good luck, and blessings, R. u.

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H.P.

answers from Charlotte on

If your children are old enough to sleep in their own room (i.e. older than 1.5 yrs of age) and know how to go use a bathroom in the middle of the night by themselves then i really don't see the problem and it really doesn't make a difference if they're on on the same floor or on a different floor. if you're scared that you won't hear them, invest in a baby monitor. but i currently live in a 2 story home & a few times that i fell asleep on the couch in the living room, i still heard my 7 month old son upstairs (even when he wasn't crying) so just leave your bedroom door open & their bedroom door open (before you go to sleep) and it should be fine. good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

We are in the same situation and it is no problem w/ the kids upstairs. We love having our room downstairs. It makes it easier in the morning when we are getting ready too.

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A.M.

answers from Asheville on

Hi Lena - I can only tell you what I would do and the reasoning behind it: I would probably have them sleep upstairs and have the master be the downstairs bedroom. A baby monitor would help alleviate any stress for you if you are worried about hearing them. A gate on the youngest ones bedroom door could also be helpful if you are worried about him getting up in the night and falling on the stairs, but if that is not a concern, then no need for the gate. The biggest safety issues/concerns for me would be that their bedroom windows would be on the 2nd floor, not the first floor and they would not be able to easily access the front door. I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for you and your family. Enjoy your new home!!!

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L.T.

answers from Fayetteville on

HI Mai,

This is a tough one. That seems to be a common floor plan today - give the parents some privacy, but it doesn't always work well with small children. Are your children "wanderers"? Do they get out of bed and night and walk around? I have one of each. My older child would call for someone to come and get him if he woke up in the middle of the night - even when he was 6 or 7 years old! My younger child would get up and walk around - as early as two. We'd hear the pitter-patter of little feet in the middle of the night and I had night lights in every outlet. I know some people put a baby gate at the top of the stairs at night, so the kids won't accidentally fall down if they get up in the middle of the night. You could also put in some type of intercom system, so the kids could call you if they needed you in the middle of the night. Do the kids share a room? Is that an option? If they have each other, they may not feel the need to look for you in the middle of the night. I do think it's important for them to sleep in their own room and for you to sleep in your own room. Letting them sleep in your room sets a bad precedent, unless you are planning on this being a permanent arrangement. Good luck! L.

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A.T.

answers from Wilmington on

Frankly, for security reasons, I wouldn't want the kids downstairs. As an adult, I would want to be on the first floor/entry floor in case someone came into the house. Of course, there are other safety concerns like fire, but put a plan in place with escape routes. Good time this month to teach this as it is fire awareness month. The baby monitor is a good idea, too.

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P.B.

answers from Raleigh on

Only you know your kids, but at that age if they were mine, I would have them sleep upstairs. They are both old enough to come find you if they need to.

For added peace of mind, get a baby monitor. Frankly, I wouldn't bother. I know if my kids really need something they can yell loud enough.

Follow your instincts!

P. : )

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A.A.

answers from Raleigh on

I'm not quite sure what the problem is - are you considering having them share the downstairs master and you and your husband have one of the upstairs rooms? My kids are 4 and 7 and their rooms are up while the master is down. Believe me, as they get older, you'll want them on a different level!

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M.T.

answers from Raleigh on

I, too, would be a little uncomfortable but....it isn't the worst it could be. Both my daughters have similar issues with their houses so they got room monitors that they set up in their children's rooms. They keep them turned down low but keep them on all night for the sake of feeling safe and assured. It has worked out wonderfully.
You can buy them at Walmart, Kmart, Target, etc. or even on Craig's list.
Enjoy your new home!
M.

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S.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

My parents had us sleep upstairs with them downstairs. They had a monitor and motion detector at the bottom of the stairs at night. It also gave them peace of mind knowing that to access either of our windows from the outside was damn near impossible without someone seeing (her's faced the street w/ complete visibility) the other had our highly protective dogs (golden and rot) sleeping underneath. Ultimately it comes down to how comfortable you feel being away from the children and how your children feel about being so far away from you.

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B.B.

answers from Charleston on

I think that the Master Bedroom being on the first floor is ideal.It will especially be helpful during the teen years, when you want to be certain that your little ones aren't trying to sneak out of the house! If you're wondedring about what happens if one or both need you in case of sickness or a particuarlly disturbing nightmare, you could always invest in a baby monitor and place it where either child could be heard, it might help, at least until you're all adjusted.

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