What Would You Do If You Knew Your Child Was Sharing/giving Away His/her Lunch?

Updated on October 08, 2013
N.K. asks from Miami Beach, FL
39 answers

Before going to bed, my daughter started saying that her voice was getting hoarse like "Leonardo's". I asked her why, and who he was, and she said he is her friend and it is because they share lunch. I asked her what she meant, did she mean they share the same lunch hour, lunch table? She said no, they share her food because he never has lunch. She said Leonardo's parents are too poor to buy him lunch or even a lunch box, so she thanked me for giving her an extra spoon this morning, because they were able to eat her yogurt together and they shared her apple juice box too, as well as her string cheese (I don't mind so much the string cheese so much since they can break it down the middle and each have their own piece, but they're usually using the same straw and spoon when they consume the juice and yogurt).

I am not sure how long this has been going on, but I was stunned and saddened. I asked her if the teacher was aware of this, and she said the teacher just said "Leonardo, you need to tell your parents to buy you lunch!". Much good that does... Leonardo is sick (hence the hoarse voice), now my daughter's catching a cold (gee, I wonder why), and I am wondering if that is why she is constantly with a runny nose. I feel bad for Leonardo and his parents, I really do, but I am a single mom and I cannot buy lunch for 2 kids, especially not for the whole school year, I wish I could, but I have my own bills to pay. At the same time, I feel sorry, like I said, so I am not sure if I should just let it go or speak up and put an end to it.

In the beginning of the school year, forms were passed around for free lunch for families who could not afford it. I don't know why Leonardo's parents did not fill it out, or why the teacher doesn't email the form or send it in his bookbag with a note stating they MUST complete this form or send him to school with lunch effective immediately. I guess it is easier to turn a blind eye to it and expect him to gather lunch from other kids who are willing to share, have extra food, or don't like their lunch.

Last year, my daughter left her lunch box in the car and you cannot believe how pushy that teacher was about getting the lunch box back or having the school provide lunch with the agreement that I reimburse the school the $5, I don't know how they can be so nonchalant about it this school year, unless both kids are lying and he does have lunch, he just refuses to eat it. Still, you'd think the teacher would contact his parents about packing him something else since he doesn't like his food.

What would you do if faced with this situation? I am not cold-hearted or greedy but at the same time, I feel like his parents ought to be responsible, and I am tired of my child coming home with colds and complaining about very hungry several times as well. Would you let it go or would you email the teacher to ask if this is true, and if so, can she please address this issue so the boy has a meal? I wonder if he even gets breakfast or dinner, it's heart-breaking. Thanks in advance, and please, no nasty, judgmental responses.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for your responses. I contacted the teacher via email and received a rather curt response along the lines of "your daughter is lying because he does get a school lunch and in addition, his parents pack him food to bring from home, so I don't know where she is getting this from but no one goes hungry in our school".

I responded by saying "thanks for your response, I am glad to know he is getting lunch and either he's a hungry boy who still wants even more food, he doesn't like the school lunch, or my daughter must have misunderstood (I didn't want to acknowledge her implied statement about my daughter being a liar), but I am glad that it was just a misunderstanding and that he's getting the proper nutrition".

I met the boy today and he did not strike me as malnourished or sickly, but I will tell my daughter to at least stop sharing drinks, since I'm sure she can get something from him, like the kissing disease, and if she wants to split her cheese or pretzels, she can do so. I am glad she is generous, she wasn't good at sharing in the beginning when she was younger, but I think she has learned that lesson quite well, being an only child and all, she will even share ice cream and other treats with me, but not with strangers who are not friendly to either one of us :)

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I agree with the folks who say pack a little extra for her to share for the rest of the week, and get in touch with the school.

6 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Sharing of lunches is not allowed in my kids school due to allergy concerns. I am a lunch mom at the school. We used to keep some extra food (like a box of cereal) around for kids who forgot to bring lunch or were still hungry, but the new principal did not want to continue that practice. There were some kids who just didn't like what their mom had sent, threw their lunch in the garbage and then asked for cereal. Now when a child does not have lunch the parents are called and asked to bring lunch to the school. I would have the teacher handle it. Call her and explain the situation. Either she can determine if the child is not eating the lunch his mother has sent, or help the parents with the free lunch program if they truly can't afford food.

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

My daughter's school everyone seems to share and for the most part get along about it. They all have there own food though. If a child though is really in that much need I suppose I'd pack a bit more but I'd tell my daughter you cannot share from the same container or drink.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

The cold-heartedness of most of these responses just breaks my heart.

There are about a million and one legitimate reasons this child could not afford lunch, but also couldn't qualify for a free or reduced lunch:

* His family could be undergoing a terrible crisis -- job loss, serious illness, etc. If this came up very suddenly, they could be in terrible financial straights, but without documentation to establish themselves as low income.

* There could be a language barrier, or even a literacy barrier, preventing them from reading the documents from the school, or from compiling the appropriate documents to submit to the school.

* The family could be flat-out homeless, and not have access to documentation of income, or lack thereof. This is actually a very common problem -- people who are truly destitute can't access the bureaucratic levers to qualify for assistance.

* There could be any number of legal reasons why his family is afraid to submit documentation to the school authorities -- immigration status, family member with a criminal background, etc. And you can judge those things all you want, but it's another thing entirely to condemn a small child to malnutrition and the lifelong problems that go with it.

So -- please, please, please -- follow your daughter's lead in terms of kindness and generosity and pack a cheap, simple lunch for this little boy. Put it in a zip-lock bag, to cut down on the transmission of germs. Think of as the cost of raising a truly good person, which is who your daughter is shaping up to be, if you give her the chance.

And, yes, send a discreet note to the teacher letting her know you're happy to help, but you're concerned. A family that can't afford lunch usually can't afford warm clothes, health care, heat in the winter, all kinds of things. And there may be a lot that the school can do.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

first, I would want to make sure Leonard was real and not an imaginary friend. Which may seem silly, but I have heard of kids making up stranger things.

Then I would contact the school counselor. In all my dealings with school, they usually handle the outreach type programs. The counselor may know how to get the wheels in motion to get this kid fed.

I know when I was teaching 9 times out of 10 kids who didn't fill out the free lunch forms had a language barrier or illiteracy problem at home. The parents simply didn't understand the forms and couldn't fill them out. Some parents refused because they feared immigration.

10 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Your daughter sounds so sweet! Bless her heart.
I get where you are coming from. Believe me, I do.
I think I would call the school and make an appointment to go in and talk with someone. Preferably the counselor and teacher at the same time. Let them know exactly what your daughter told you, that his parents are "poor" and not sending him in with food, that the teacher seems to be aware of it and that he is eating your daughter's lunch because he is hungry and she doesn't want to see her friend hungry.
The counselor probably does more outreach within the student body, may know more about his families situation, and can tactfully talk with his parents about what is going on. Often times when there is a child coming from a family that is struggling that much the school is very aware of it.
The one thing that sticks out from her whole story, to ME, is that the teacher apparently said, "Leonardo you need to tell your parents to buy you lunch." That just feels funny to me. Normally a teacher wouldn't call a student out like that and normally a teacher would contact the parents if it is a consistent problem.
I see that you are a single mama. It's really tough! I am such a tenderheart that I would probably go to the store, buy some string cheese for $4, some store brand crackers for $2, and a bunch of bananas for $3 and then send it with my daughter throughout the week for Leonardo. that way I am only spending $9 and I know that a child is eating.
To the woman that said to tell him to stop begging.....IF this child is hungry then it is completely understandable that he is "begging." The boy is hungry. If someone comes to me and is hungry, thirsty, cold, or needs help then I help them. This mama's daughter is being wonderful.
L.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

I would pack extra for a few days, and immediately talk to the teacher and/or the school counselor. I absolutely understand that you can't afford to feed an extra kid (nor should you - there are programs in place for that), but until the school can address the underlying issue of the child not getting free lunch, your daughter will want to share. And you don't want to teach her that she shouldn't help someone in need, right?

So yes - call/email the teacher immediately. If she tells you that the parents simply didn't return the form, escalate to the principal or counselor. Someone needs to make sure this boy has enough to eat.

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

I don't have anything to add to the many excellent suggestions you've already gotten. I just want to say, I think your daughter is lovely. And I'm glad Leonardo has her for a friend.

:)

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd probably pack extra until I could find time to speak with the school counselor.

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S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Mira---- I LOVE YOUR RESPONSE!!
Exactly what she said!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Inform the teacher that you want his begging/mooching stopped.
You don't know if he's really hungry or if he ate his lunch on his way in to school on the bus.
Our schools have a no lunch sharing policy mostly due to they don't want kids with food allergies to have reactions.
If the teacher is told what is going on maybe she can have Child Protective Services/Social Services do a home checkup for this kid and they can help with their food situation.
Besides that I know of no school who will not give the kid something to eat if he has nothing - our schools will give a cheese sandwich, a piece of fruit and a milk.

It's bad enough your daughter is getting sick but you don't know for sure what he has.
Maybe it is a cold but maybe it's flu, whooping cough, TB, AIDS or something else.
Vaccinated kids don't get as bad a case but it can still be pretty bad.
It's not cold-hearted to see that he gets help through the proper channels.
By giving your daughter food for him, you are enabling him to slip through the cracks to continue to be neglected and that's not really doing him any favors.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Surprise your daughter and go have lunch with her at school, but be a little late so you can watch her for a few minutes.

Get a feel for the situation and then proceed.

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K.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Echoing Mira, as well. A thousand reasons a child goes without lunch and none of us are worthy to judge the reason. Just keep thinking that at least Leo is getting something each day he's with your daughter. What a sweet little girl. Certainly, you should contact the school. Perhaps you can work within your community to establish a Blessings In A Backpack program for your daughter's elementary school ... http://www.blessingsinabackpack.org. Our Church does this and feeds 120 kids every weekend through the school year. At the school we adopted, there are still kids missing food on the weekend. It's not unheard of and we, as adults, need to remember food is a vital part of learning.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

At our child's school the PTO and teachers find out which students do not come with a lunch and they are given a free lunch each day. The PTO raises funds for this if needed although this year we started on a state program as well. I guess if your school is not providing this little boy with a lunch each day that I would speak to the principal privately about it. I'd go eat lunch with the kids a few times after this to see what is going on. If nothing happens and it were me, I would pack extra food each day for my daughter to share with Leonardo. I would also praise her for being kind and sharing. What a sweet daughter you have.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Definitely talk to someone at the school about Leonardo and his situation. Your daughter and Leonardo may be stretching the truth about his need for your daughter's food. I'd be really surprised if the teacher and/or lunch monitor is actually turning a blind eye to this situation. At my daughter's school, children are strictly forbidden to share their food with each other. They don't always know who is allergic to what, and there are liability issues here. If a child forgets his lunch, they are provided a hot lunch, whether or not they brought lunch money.

Think about if Leonardo's parents decided to sue you because they thought your daughter fed their son spoiled yogurt. If they are unwilling to pack a lunch for their son or sign him up for free lunches, then they might not be above doing something low like that.

Meanwhile, praise your daughter for being kind-hearted and sharing her food with someone less fortunate that her. But this is not something that she should be doing -- especially since it causes a financial hardship to your family and might be against school policy. Good luck, and please let us know what happened!

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Inform the teacher immediately. Do it with compassion, not from the perspective of "I can't afford to feed two kids!" I would be concerned that maybe the boy is on the list but does not ever get the school lunch and just eats what other kids bring.

Your knowledge of what the teacher said is based entirely on what your child related second-hand, and kids can be a bit shaky when they're reporting things they hear.

Yes, definitely observe lunch. Tomorrow, if you can, and for a couple of days, not just one. I would see if you can observe from someplace where your daughter can't see you -- she is going to behave differently (and so will Leonardo) if you are sitting right there at the lunch table with them, or if they even can see you in the cafeteria. As others noted, he may indeed get school lunch, or bring a lunch, but isn't eating it.

Please don't crack down on your child for "lying" about this if the boy does indeed have lunch. Your daughter is not lying -- she is believing what he tells her, and in his mind, HE may also be telling the truth; a young kid who doesn't like his lunch from home could well say, "I don't have lunch" when he means "I don't have lunch that I want to eat, so I don't have lunch." Or he could be signed up for free lunch but never goes into the lunch line for many reasons - he hates the food, perhaps or the line is very long and slow. Yes, that is a real issue in some schools, where kids wait and wait in long lines and then have just minutes to gobble lunch, Ieading possibly to some kids just ditching the line and asking friends for food. Observe the lunch line; are kids in it so long that they are spend much of lunch just waiting to get food? The school needs to know, if that's the case.

IF he is on the lunch list and doesn't get lunch or he brings it and doesn't eat it: Do they both need to learn the distinction that he does HAVE lunch and she does not have to share? Yes, if he does indeed have food. But should they be punished as liars, especially your daughter? Not to me.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I like what Mira said.

I would pack extra for a few days, send a note to the teacher, and pray for this child and his family.

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M.2.

answers from Chicago on

That is really sad that this little boy comes to school with no lunch =( Shame on his parents - if they are unable to provide him with a lunch then they need to get him signed up for the free lunch program!

I'd pack an extra lunch for him for the remainder of this week BUT at the same time be in contact with their teacher and/or school about the situation so they can resolve the issue with his parents - whether that be send him with a lunch or get him signed up for the free lunch program!

Also just want to add that your daughter sounds like a very sweet little girl to be willing to share her lunch everyday =)

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

What Mira said.

Your daughter is an angel. Follow her lead.

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A.B.

answers from St. Louis on

N.,
First of all, I have to tell that your kid is marvelous! She is doing just what she feels is right, and she IS doing the right thing. I would suggest that you talk or send a little note to the teacher just with the purpose of finding help for this kid.
Actually I would send an "extra" something in my kid's lunch for this kid.....it is heartbreaking and it is sad that there are more kids in this situation that we are aware of.

A. :)

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M.F.

answers from Houston on

I would absolutely contact the teacher from a concerned perspective. At our school children who do not have lunch are given something to eat. I can't imagine the teacher knowing about this and not addressing it and i thought the school was legally obligated to report this type of thing. I know sharing is nice but since my son started school last year I have always told him he is absolutely not to eat other kids food or share drinks and is not to share his food(again kids are fed at his school). Never, the idea just grosses me out and I know he will get colds but if I can avoid the flu, strep, or stomach bugs I will. When I was going to school there was a meningitis outbreak in my town(the whole town had to gather and get vaccinated) so maybe I just have it drilled in my head not to drink after people?!

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

First, I'll say that I had a similar situation last year with my son packing extra snack for a boy in his class who wasn't bringing snack for the afterschool program, so I feel you. As it turned out, his parents thought it was provided because it had been at his previous daycare. Easily resolved.

Remember that the perceptions of young children are not always EXACTLY the reality. Maybe Leonard's parents DID fill out the form and HE prefers your daughter's lunch to the school lunch. Maybe Leonard's parents aren't poor at all and they send him with money to buy his lunch and he just doesn't. Maybe his mom packs him a brown-bag lunch every morning and Leonard just doesn't want it. Maybe his parents submitted the forms and assumed that everything was taken care of but somehow they weren't processed so they THINK their kid is getting fed and he isn't telling them he's getting his lunch from your daughter.

Call the teacher and mention it. Just because your daughter thinks she's aware of the situation doesn't mean she is. What she said to Leonard might not even be what your daughter thought she heard (maybe she said "Leonard, you need to tell your parents that you're not using your money to buy lunch." or something similar).

Either way, you can set the rules for your daughter. If she's not allowed to share food, tell her so.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I would be in that school eating lunch with my daughter to see what the real story is. The least you could do is talk to your daughter's teacher asking to check on the situation for you.

At our school, we make sure that every kid has a lunch. Doesn't matter what the circumstances are. We also have a rule that food cannot be shared. It's very dangerous to share food - lots of food allergies (nuts and others). Say your daughter gives Leo a strawberry and it ends up he's allergic to them? I think your daughter would feel pretty bad about it. Leo doesn't seem to be bothered about spreading his nasty germs around.

Could be Leo doesn't like the hot lunch that's offered to him. Well, that's too bad and not your daughter's problem. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. I would tell my daughter not to share her food and to call over an adult to handle the situation.

Let us know what happens!

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

There are so many things here. Let's start with your daughter. Is it good for her to want to share? I would say so.

Ask her more about Leonardo. She has him on her mind. Is he somebody she feels sorry for, or is he a real friend? Do they play on the playground together sometimes? What does she think of him as a person?

I think I would be inclined, for at least a while, to pack lunches that can be split rather than shared, for health's sake. I would ask her about Leonardo every day. And when I had a chance, I might talk to the teacher. I would not want to teach my daughter that she should make other people's needs none of her business.

Schools deal with children en masse. They have to develop rules and policies for large numbers. They lose some heart that way, but that's the way the system works. It's nice to see your daughter with a heart.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

You're making a lot of assumptions based on what seems like a very short conversation with your daughter, who is a child after all, and not the best resource for factual information.
At our school food sharing is technically not allowed, though of course it happens. What's the policy at your school?
Talk to your daughter, let her know her lunch is for HER only, and she shouldn't share.
Send an email to the teacher. Let her know your daughter is telling you she is feeding another child because he says he doesn't have a lunch. I bet he does, he probably just likes your daughter's food more, or he's still hungry after eating his. Either way, it's the school's responsibility to deal with it, not yours.
Make sure you tell your daughter you're contacting the teacher. She may change her story!

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

I would MAKE my child understand sharing is not allowed PERIOD, no matter the circumstance. Maybe I'm paranoid but it sounds like your daughter is a prime target for that creepy man who hangs out at the playground asking little kids to look for his lost puppy. She needs to know benevolence has rules and boundaries, esp at her age.

I agree with your point that you are a single mom and shouldn't have to provide 2 lunches.

But since I'm not a single mom, but rather a sahm, I would send 2 lunches with my child until Leo's lunch situation was solved. In the meantime, I would take my child in and have him test for any and all tests available to check for diseases, viruses, bacteria, pathogens and even aids. While I'm not in favor of holding people's hands all the time, I would go up to the school and figure out a solution THE SCHOOL, not me, can provide for Leo, since this boy was obviously placed directly in my life in one way or another.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

If I were you, I would pack extra so she could give Leonardo his own. I know you say you're a single mom - I get that; I was too.

At the very least, I think this should be brought to the attention of the principal. Apparently the teacher is already aware and not doing anything. You really can't force the parents to fill out a form, nor can you force them to pack him a lunch. But, seems to me that if they are not willing to do either, then CPS needs to be called. That child cannot go hungry all day. And it could be that he has food, but just prefers to eat what your daughter brings and he may be playing on her kindness when he's telling her he has nothing.

I'll never forget my ex-MIL telling me that my ex used to cry poor and tell the folks at school they had no money and no food. Remember, this was about 40 years ago - no such thing as free lunch. He was really skinny, so that lent itself well to his story. CPS showed up at my ex-MIL's house talking about K said they had no food or money. My MIL proceeded to show them her freezer and pantry - she had about as much food as Safeway!

Kids say the darnest things!

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Mira, you are my hero.

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S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

There are several kids who get free/reduced lunch at my son's school. There is one child in particular who does not bring a snack (lunch is provided by the school for him but not snack). He is always asking for the snack. Last year the teacher had a big box of good fish and he would regular help himself. The teacher's aid was really annoyed with him and said 'He NEVER has a snack.' super loud in front of him and go on how he will cause all the other kids to want the gold fish (sidetrack- I don't think this was the job for her). Also, this boy was from a different classroom but during break half the kindergarden class would play with half of another room of kindergarteners.

In your case I would send an email to the teacher and then the next level up (Leonardo might be in a different classroom). I totally get where you are coming from in regards to not wanting to support another lunch. I also have heard several kids lie at school (maybe he really has a lunch, but your daughter's is better). Either way, it needs to be handled by the school and the family.

edit:
This year, the teacher asked if parents could donate a snack for the class. She said some kids come to school hungry and some to not want to wait for break. It is pretty easy for most of the families to chip in and help. There are some food allergies, but a bag of cuties and a costco pack of string cheese will satisfy most kids. I like the idea. We did it in preschool.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

That is so incredibly sweet of your daughter.

Maybe go in to have a private word with the office staff or principal to say you're concerned about him. They will not be able to tell you the details of the situation due to privacy, but perhaps they can help on their end to fix it. (Or, they might be surprised and say something like, "But he has a lunch account/always brings a lunch.")

I don't know if this makes you feel any better, but schools are cesspits of germs. Your daughter almost certainly was brewing a scratchy throat before she shared her yogurt. Symptoms would not have shown up in mere hours.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Here's the thing. The school has a moral and social obligation to turn these parents in for neglect IF in fact this story is true? Why in the world would a civilized teacher not report this in the first place? A child that comes to school without lunch money, the means to get a free lunch, or to bring their own from home is being neglected in an obvious and "hey, I'm not going to feed my kid and you won't do anything about it" sort of attitude. They think no one notices or cares enough about this child to report it.

I'd call myself if "I" was positive this was actually going on. Go to your child's school a few times in a week and observe whether or not he is taking a tray, throwing it away and not eating it so he can share with someone that has good food, or if he simply goes and sits down at the table waiting for your daughter to feed him out of her lunch.

He may be playing her. This year the schools have taken out all the stuff my kiddo's like and they don't have food the kids will eat. We can't afford to send their lunches and we qualify for free lunches. The kids can choose to not eat but I do provide them the resources to do so.

IF IF IF he's getting free lunch but just doesn't like it then the choice to not eat is on him. IF IF IF he's not being given access to food and is going hungry all day then shame on the school for not reporting this and shame on them for not even noticing a child sitting there day after day without a tray in front of them.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I would also add a little something in there for Leonardo, and then talk to the teacher about it. Honestly, a lot of children go hungry in this country. I suspect there are bigger issues at his home. Sure his parents *should* be responsible, but many parents are not. They may not even care. Speaking to the teacher may be the beginning of getting this child the help he obviously so desperately needs.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I have read most of the other responses and mostly agree with them. One said his "begging" needed to stop, but no one said he was begging. He could be sitting there without food and your daughter may be offering (so that is very sweet) because he's her friend or because she feels bad for him (or both).

I would try to pack a little extra at least for a few more days. Tell your daughter she can share but she can NOT use the same straw, spoon, etc.

I would contact the school nurse regarding the sickness. Explain that you realize she can't disclose health info regarding Leo but can she at least tell you if you need to be concerned regarding your daughter.

I would also contact the principal or counselor at the school. The teacher already knows about the situation and doesn't seem to be addressing it.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I would talk to school, and make sure they know what is going or or find out what is going on.

My neighbor teaches and she has given parts of her lunch to a few kids because the familys just do not have the money and the only time some of those kids eat is at school. I mean these kids are doubled over in hunger pains.

It is terrible, but if the parents are oblivious to the fact that thier child is not eating. They may not realize that they can get the lunch at a reduced rate/free.

Until it gets straitend out, unless you want your daughter not to eat, because she is sharing all that she is brining.. then I would pack a litte more for him.

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C.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I would contact the teacher or the principle if you are not sure the teacher will follow up appropriately. I would expect that sharing and trading happens with other kids. I would probably pack a little more if it was affordable. If money or space in the backpack was tight. I would ask my kid to bring what they don't eat back home including the wrappers for a week. That way I can better judge what is actually eaten and won't waste money on stuff they open and tosses without eating.

S.K.

answers from Denver on

I would contact the teacher and explain what is going on and if he/she is seeing something different. the teacher will know if the kid has a lunch or not. I am not sure what grade your daughter is in but I know my kids are asked at the beginning of every day if they will be having school lunch or packed lunch so they are aware of what each kid is doing. At least at this point you will know if indeed Leonardo has no food and you will also make the teacher aware of the issue as well. I would throw in a few cheaper items just to ensure that Leonardo is getting a little something until this is resolved. I think contacting the teacher is definitely the first step.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

First, sharing her food with this child is unlikely to be the reason she's getting colds. She's in a school with a bunch of other kiddos. It's a germ factory. She's going to get colds. Colds/viruses are equal opportunity offenders, so it's just as likely that your kiddo is going to get Leo sick as this instance where Leo _may_ have been the one to get your daughter sick. (And she'd probably have caught it elsewhere if not from Leo.)

That said, if Leo's parents can't afford to buy him lunch, he should be eligible for free lunch at school. Let the school know. And most schools provide both free breakfast and lunch to kiddos that need it.

ETA: Or you could just ignore what I wrote above and refer to Mira's comment. I like hers better.

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Ditto everything Leigh R. said. Start with contact with the teacher.

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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I echo the folks who suggest talking to the teacher, assistant principal, and guidance counselor about Leonardo's situation. Is there perhaps a language barrier, so his parents didn't know what the form was or how to fill it out? In any case, the school officials need to find a way to address his needs, and if the teacher didn't respond well when your daughter said something, it's time to speak to someone else. Hunger is a real issue in the US--there are programs in the schools in my town to send kids home with food in their backpacks for the weekends because they won't be getting the breakfasts or lunches from the schools on Sat and Sun.

Until the time that you know that Leonardo is getting lunch, it would be wise and kind to pack some extra food. It's good to encourage her humane empathetic response, and I disagree that it is setting her up to be exploited by a sexual predator. Sharing her lunch with a hungry friend puts her in no danger and is a deeply good quality. That being said, do follow up with the school officials to be sure that they are working with the parents so you aren't feeding him until the end of the school year. You have a gal with a good heart!

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