When to Potty Train?

Updated on November 06, 2007
J.J. asks from Gilbert, AZ
13 answers

I am at a stump here as to when is the right time to try potty training. My 18 month old daughter has a potty that we let her play with and she has shown interest in using. We have videos and books and show her how it is done, but I'm really worried that I may be starting too early. She has gone pee in the toilet and she was so excited and I thought that we were well on our way to having a miracle early potty trainer, but then she lost interest. Do I get her to pay more attention to the potty now or do I just let her be? Help me out. Does anyone have any good ideas for a consistent potty training regimen? How do I get her daycare to follow it as well?

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K.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

My now 2 year old did the same thing with the potty. She actually started peeing on it when she was about 16 months old. But now she's almost 2 and a half and still isn't potty trained. She does go before her bath every night and has pooped on the potty a couple of times. I pushed my 6 year old a little too hard in potty training, so with this one I'm taking it easy. Just let her be and she'll let you know when she's ready! =)

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N.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello J....

I have a 3.5 and a 22 month old, and both of my kids are potty trained. Ethan was 2 years and one month when he was trained, and Allie has been trained for 2 weeks now. This is her second night sleeping in big girl panties, and we are still working on the poo part, but it only took Ethan a month to figure it out. They NEVER slept in pull ups, and Ethan never had a accident at night. So far Allie is looking the same!
I new it was time to start trying when both of my kids woke up dry every morning for a few months. All I did was start taking them every hour, and it will get really old after about the second day, but both my husband and I had to be on the same page. So this means that whom ever watches you kids must do the same. It took about a month and a half of working with both of them 24/7. This means when you go out, you should continue what you do at home. I had no problem with either of my kids, and if you follow a schedule, and reward her, and do a HUGE POTTY DANCE, she will want to get that attention as much as possible. Every time Allie goes to the potty and pees or poos, she gets a jelly bean. And that is the only time she gets a jelly bean! This worked with Ethan, and so far it is working with Allie. Just be patient, and it will come. IT CAN BE DONE!

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C.M.

answers from Phoenix on

In my experience with both of my boys, there is a definite window of opportunity (which you have discovered) around 18 months. My oldest started super early(of his own accord) and could do everything in the potty at 14 months, he finished training totally and was out of diapers at 18 months.

My second, he really stepped up the game about 18 months, with going on the potty much more often (he got the peeing part down easily, but poop was tricky for him...he was used to standing to poop in the diaper). So he was always peeing in the potty by 18 months and before age 2 he got to always pooping in the potty. It was a much slower and more patient process with him, a gradual learning, where my first just seemed to naturally understand what to do and want to do it all right from the start. I think my experience with my second is what I would expect the more average/normal experience to be.
I know many other girls who have begun potty training around 18 months successfully. You will need to work out with your daycare what they are willing to do. Basically, you need to establish with her, you and them how she will communicate that she has to go and then its just a mtter of you always taking her when she lets you know she has to go (and you having the potty readily available for her at home) and them taking her and /or allowing her access to the potty at day care.

feel free to write me for more info
C.

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D.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

I don't think there is a set time to start potty training. My daughter is potty trained now and shortly after her first birthday she started showing interest in going to the potty my telling me she had to go potty or saying potty when she went in her diaper. Even if she went in her diaper I would sit her on her potty for a little while w/o the diaper before I changed her, and pretty soon she was telling me she had to go. Then once she got better about not having accidents,I moved her to pull-ups and I took to the store and let her pick out "Big Girl panties." I used the panties as an incentive not to have an accident. Don't get me wrong though, she occasionally still has accidents but only when she isn't feeling well or hasn't slept well. The savings in diapers and pull-ups is well worth the try!

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R.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi, J. ~

My mom says at 17 months old, I was just finished with diapers and the whole "potty training" process just kind of took off on its own. Neither of my boys even dreamed about diaperless days at that age. (In fact, I really didn't see any reason to push the issue with them until they started telling me they needed to be changed, or bringing me a new diaper when they were wet or dirty.) And my daughter isn't quite at a year and a half yet, but it doesn't seem like the average age. I figure if it doesn't come easy, at least at first, then she's too young. When she does get to the point where she's ready, Dr. Phil has a good method to try, based on the principle that a child learns a concept best when they teach it. I'm sure you'd be able to find it at his website.

Best wishes for easy training!

~ R.

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J.L.

answers from Fort Collins on

Hi,
I have 2 girls 6 and 3. While we introduced the potty to each of them at around age 2 both werent really ready until around age 3. Our daycare was really great about working with them at the same time we started potty training at home. It is great when they are trained, but dont push them or make it a negative experience. They will decide when they are ready.

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M.Z.

answers from Reno on

I'm sure you've been told this already, but don't push her. It has to be her decission or she may rebel in the future once you think she's totally trained. My daughter was interested around 2, but didn't actually become trained until 3. That's what she was ready for. She'd use the potty when she wanted too then one day she said she was to big for pull ups and that was that. If you want to encourage her try reward stickers for going, or buy her big girl panties that she can put on after going pee on the toilet. Just as a side note, my son potty trained a little sooner than my daughter, but my ped. says boys seem to catch on sooner than girls and he was also my second so he wanted to do what big sister did. They both did it when they were ready and neither of them have had any regression and they don't wet the bed except for maybe once in 1 year.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

I disagree that pullups are a bad thing, both my kids were a breeze to potty train with pullups and we still use them at night with my 3 year old son. With a new baby on the way your time and patience will be limited believe me. Pullups are thinner, give them the ability to pull them up and down by themselves and simulate underwear. VERY rarely do kids go straight from diapers into underwear with great success. If she is transitioning with a daycare, I would do it in steps one being the pullups!!
Let it be her idea, literally if you push it then it becomes a battle of the wills. She is very young still and may not completely be aware of when she has to go yet or what her body signals are. If she is interested encourage that interest. My son at 3 years old and we just got done and he is in underwear after two and half weeks, we started with pullups. Tell the daycare you are trying to potty train and provide pullups at daycare not diapers. When you are really ready have her aware then no more diapers because she is a big girl, then start with pullups and get rid of the diapers. Pullups feel different and aren't diapers and reduce your frustration with messes. I would PUT her on the potty and NOT ask when you are truly really ready, as asking leads to power struggles, you have to put her on every hour to two hours and see what happens, celebrate when she does go, reward system or whatever works for her. Get her to pick out some underwear and have her wear them when you are at home with her during the day when she has showed progress and ready to put in the time and patience. With a new baby on the way be prepared for regression as a possibility and take it a day at a time.

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

J.,
Don't push it. It will happen. Do talk to her about it. Tell her everyone goes in the toilet. I potty trained 6 and found each one different. When you do start don't use pull ups they feel like diapers and it doesn't make a difference. They are too comfortable in them. Use them when you go out but around the house use big girl panties.
C.

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

Keep it casual and fun at this age. My two girls both showed interest around 18 months and I let them sit on their potties. We talked about it, they went with me, we read books, but I never made them go. They got to decide that. In our experience, when they showed interest that early, the process was a gradual one until they both were completely out of daytime trainer by 27 months. I agree about NOT using pullups. They are diapers. Kids need to feel WET to understand what's going on. Get reusable trainers!

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C.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

Keep trying whenever possible! Mine started trying around that timet too, now she is 2 1/2 and still trying, it is never too early, she may take some time. If she does do it that fast, congrats to you! She's my second and can't wait to stop buying diapers. You could also try pull ups! C.

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J.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hey J.,

The time is right when your daughter feels it is right - you'll only give her a complex if you force her into it *grin*.

Our daughter was the same way, and it was frustrating, she'd sit and sit and sit, and sometimes she'd go, but mostly she just liked pretending to be a "big girl", she really had no interest in going. She is now *almost* there (a few accidents a week, but nothing TOO bad), but she's about 3 months from her 3rd birthday. And she's shown interest for a while, but she was having trouble realizing that she had to go - in our case, the pull-ups were too absorbent. And we tried EVERYTHING - I tapped out my parents, grandparents, mother-in-law, grandparent-in-laws, aunts and aunt-in-laws (my hubby has a great family, if you can't tell, we get along well!), we were SO frustrated. FINALLY, it just clicked - she wore her big girl panties, had an accident, and was SO upset at herself that she trained herself.

Oh, and a hint for in-public restroom peeing - take off the jeans and panties and turn her around backwards, straddling the toilet (yes, it looks funny) and scoot her up until she can grab at the back. This was a problem that one of my (boy) cousins had, and it worked for my daughter as well, as it gives them the appearance of a smaller toilet bowl, and they won't be as afraid of the big rimmed toilet.

And don't worry - she won't be 21 and still in diapers! *grin*

~Jes

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G.G.

answers from Denver on

My daughter started being interested in potty training at the same age. The school she goes to also noticed the interest so we went ahead and put her in panties. She picked out her princess panties and was really excited about them. She was potty trained within two weeks. After we went camping she had a bit of a back slide because she was scared of the outhouse. Then she would only go at home or school and not in a public restroom. But that only lasted a couple of weeks. She has been totally potty trained since 21 months now. I think panties are good to use because they get excited about them and feel when they are wet. She does wear a pull up at night because she won't wake up to go potty. I never pushed Angelique but she was excited about it so I just went with it with great results! I have always been positive about it and made it fun.

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