When to Potty Train - Oregon,OH

Updated on January 04, 2010
C.L. asks from Oregon, OH
17 answers

My son will be 2 in Feb. My husband is so determined to have him potty trained by the age of 2. I would love this, however, I have read that if you force it upon an unwilling child, that it can cause the potty training to be set back even more. We expecting our 2nd in March, and I think that my husband does not want to deal with diapers for both. I want him to be potty trained, but I want it to be successful. When do you think is a good age for potty training? What are some techniques to help him understand?

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K.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I followed the advice of other mom friends: you can potty train a boy at 2 for 12 months. Or you can potty train a boy at 3 for a week. Either way, they are potty trained by 3, but how much work do you want it to be for both of you?

I have three boys and I only potty "trained" one of them. The other two trained themselves, both before age 3, mostly from watching their brother(s) and their dad.

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K.P.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Hello I am not even going to read the other answers but if you push him you will only wear you out and make him aggravated. Seriously, the more you push him the more he will resist. My granddaughter will be 4 and is potty trained now but she used to hide in her walk in closet stoop down and poop. When they are ready they will let you know.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Our kids are 21 months apart. A lot of people asked me if I was going to potty train our son before our daughter was born. We didn't even try until after his 3rd birthday for a few reasons.
1. He had no interest
2. He wasn't going long periods without wetting his diaper

We talked to our pediatrician about it. He said boys do not have the same bladder sensitivity that girls do at the same age. It's most typical for boys to potty train between 3-4 years. So, while it's easier for girls to potty train earlier, it's not necessarily so for boys.

Some people are successful at it, but it takes a lot of patients and diligence. Another question is whether or not he'll regress once your other baby is born (as other people have mentioned).

Personally, I'd wait. Dealing with diapers for both is a pain, but it's worse having to deal with cleaning an accident in public. You're going to be so stressed with the new LO coming along.

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C.F.

answers from Columbus on

I would recommend potty training after your baby is born. You run the risk of your 2 year old regressing after the birth of you baby - and then it is really hard to get potty training back on track....Wait until your 2 year old is comfortable with the new baby and you are in a routine. You will be home more after the baby is born, so that would be a better time to do it. Potty training/and a new sibling is alot of change for a toddler to handle.

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi! Try it or not - if he is ready, he'll do it, if he isn't ready, he won't.

HOWEVER - in my humble opinion, I wouldn't do it. Simply because once he's potty trained, he will want to go to the potty in EVERY public place you ever go to. Trust me, they all do! They want to check out the restrooms, for some reason. I don't know WHAT they think they will find - a different toilet, maybe? But it won't matter if he just went right before you left the house, and the store is only five minutes away. Once he sees a restroom sign - and oh, yes, they learn to recognize it quickly! - he will say he has to go. :)

And let me tell you, helping a child (because he will still need help, especially in the disgusting restrooms where you don't want him to touch anything) in a public restroom, with a baby in tow, is NOT a fun thing to do. :) So, take time to consider how it will affect YOU, if you do it.

Also, remember how children backslide sometimes when a sibling comes along. You may get him potty trained, all for naught, if he decides to use diapers again like that new baby who is getting so much attention! :)

Best of luck! And congrats on the new baby!
J.

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L.M.

answers from Terre Haute on

I feel like at this time it is a waste of time. Maybe not, but you are too close to new baby to be successful (IMO). My kids were 2 when I found out we were pregnant and that is when I started potty training. They were trained by the time the new baby arrived, but there were times of regression after baby was here. Just like you should not take the older child out of the crib when the baby arrives, I think it applies to potty training too. Your 2 year old will not understand why it is okay for baby to potty in his diaper but not him anymore. However, if you do decide to try (which won't hurt to introduce it) just prepare yourself to possibly have to do it again after baby. I think if I were you I would wait until a few months after baby and try then. Just really express to your 2 year old that he is a big boy and big boys potty like big boys and that the baby isn't a big boy yet.

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H.

answers from Columbus on

I wanted to write because my daughter was out of diapers early, before she turned two. We didn't force her to do anything. She wasn't traumatized because we started early with her. We were very relaxed and made the potty part of her routine. I first just had her sit on the potty to introduce it to her and we read books. The books basically distracted her so that she would sit there, but she wasn't pressured to do anything. So you could try that with your son, or whatever activity he will sit for. We then started sitting her on the potty more often- after she woke up, after eating, before nap and bed, etc- and just incorporated it into her routine. It just became something she did, like washing hands, brushing teeth, etc, so she never fought it.

We moved her straight to undies instead of pullups (we did keep her in diapers at night for a while). Yes, we had accidents, but didn't punish her for that. So make sure you are prepared for the cleanup. We did not use any kind of incentive or reward except for praise. I don't like using candy as a reward for anything, but that is just me. Also, I did not count on her to always tell me when she had to go, since she was pretty young when we started. So I would just sit your son on the potty every hour or two and make it part of your routine.

So if you want to try it, go for it. It won't hurt your son to give it a try. If everyone is too frustrated after a while, then you can always try later. Children definitely pick up on our frustration, which will just backfire. Just because you try now, doesn't mean he has to get out of diapers right now. I think people expect it to just happen all of a sudden, when I think it is more of a learning process, just like anything else that is new. Children don't walk or talk in one day, so we shouldn't expect them to pottytrain in a day. So be patient, expect messes and keep a sense of humor! Good luck with your son and your new baby.

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M.S.

answers from Bloomington on

i felt the exact same way. i wanted my 2 year old trained before our baby, and he actually could go in the potty pretty early on... so i put him in big boy underwear... but he had no recognition of "i need to go" and going there on his own until he was well over 3. His "terrible twos" were much worse and we had so many power struggles and frustrations because i would try to make him go potty when he didn't want to... and he had accidents... it became a normal thing for him to pee when he threw a temper tantrum. he was TWO YEARS OLD... so that happened a LOT!!! (for more than a YEAR!!!) it wasn't until i put him back in diapers and just gave all the control to him that he finally got it. i got so disappointed and frustrated by the whole process.

my second child i vowed to NOT force potty training at all since it was such a drama with my son, and she potty trained herself really easily and quickly when she was ready. i did not put her in panties until her diapers stayed dry every day all day. it was sooooooo much easier for me, and she learned really quickly!!! she actually was just two years old, but she was ready so it worked!

so. my advice is to wait. don't add stress to the bonding between you and your new baby, and the difficulty of adjusting to a sibling.

however.... get every book and potty movie from the library, hype the potty and how cool it is and potty train a bear or doll... play potty and talk about how big he can be someday when he is ready. don't pressure him, just educate and play and talk about it. let him try when he's interested, praise him for success, and don't shame him if he doesn't go in the potty. find some little friends who want to "show off" what they can do, etc... good luck!!!

'Go potty go' is a great movie. it has lots of songs and makes it really fun. (also no inappropriate or gross stuff in it...tricky for the topic...although the songs do get stuck in your head, and you find yourself singing "gonna wash your hands! scrub 'em really good!"... or "go potty go!!")

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

You can't force potty training period. It doesn't matter the age, it just doesn't work. All you can do is introduce it and see if he likes it or not. Take him with you every time you go to the bathroom and have him practice sitting on a potty seat. Figure out some sort of reward for 1) trying and 2) going. It doesn't have to be candy, even something like a sticker for trying and 3 for going will work.

Good Luck:)

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A.D.

answers from South Bend on

Both of the pediatricians we have used gave us the same advice: wait until our son wakes up dry and he is ready to initiate using the potty. I have many mom friends who have had success training their 2 year olds, but we waited. Our son is 3 and we are taking it slow and using a reward system for when he uses th potty. We also have a 13 month old daughter, so diapers are actually easier that constantly reminding my son and dealing with accidents. I can understand your husband's desire to not have two in diapers, but you may want to ask him if he would rather change two diapers or handle an accident in Target while the baby is crying :) One thing I struggle with is avoiding comparing my son with other children his age- I have to remind myself that every kid is different and like every other development milestone, potty-training will come in time.

Congratulations and Good Luck!
A.

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M.B.

answers from Dayton on

Around 2 is about right. Try it and see - if it works, great; if not, back off for a while. I don't think you need to wait until they are waking up dry; my kids did that after getting daytime training down. Take off his underwear, put a little potty where he is, and see what happens. I think a lot depends on the child's personality. Some will fight, some want to be independent, some want to please. You'll see which you have once you get started - good luck!

M.S.

answers from Columbus on

I have potty trained three (soon to be 4) kids. I can tell you from my experience, they will do it when THEY are ready. I tried so hard to get my oldest to potty train before my third was born, cuz I didn't want 3 in diapers! After months of trying everything I heard of, I gave up. He ended up doing it on his own before the baby was born. That being said, you can start to encourage your son to use the potty without it being an "issue". Get him his own potty chair, ask him if he needs to go, then take him to it so he connects the words "potty", "pee", whatever you use. You can put cheerios or fruit loops in the toilet to show him how to "aim" for them. These are just some suggestions of the things I tried over the years. It will be a trial and error process. Some kids like their very own potty and some kids like to go in the big potty. My daughter was older than both boys before she was out of diapers. She was 3 1/2. I ended up rewarding her with a trip to Build-A-Bear. But, like I said, if it were up to me, she would have been trained closer to age 3. She wasn't ready and it didn't happen under my terms, but hers. Now, there will be people who say it can be done and can attest to a training regimen. If you are really determined to get him there, it's worth a try, I guess. It's just that taking a toddler to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes is quite a committment and won't guarantee success - yeah, I tried that, too. Having a child trained by the age of 2 is a little early in my opinion. I read or heard somewhere that unless a child can pedal a trike/3 wheeler, etc. they are not ready to potty train. The muscles used to pedal are the same ones used to "hold" pee. If they aren't developed, the child cannot be expected to be able to hold it. Another thing to think about, is that if your son is out of diapers, that opens up a whole new challenge. If you are out and about with both kids and he has to go, he has to go NOW. You will have to plan ahead and know where the bathrooms are and be able to get to them quickly. That's not such a big deal if it's just you and him, but toting a new baby presents a bigger challenge. Not that that, alone, is a reason to postpone the potty training, but just something to think about.
Congratulations on your new addition and good luck with whatever you decide!

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I worked in daycare for years, and in my experience, every child is different. Is your child very tractable, willing to do whatever you ask of him or her, and good at understanding why he needs to do or not do things? Then you might be able to get him potty trained as you would like. However, I should add that potty-trained by age two is pretty early. Most children aren't able to control things quite that well by that age. The child has to be able to feel the sensation of having to pee, use the muscles to hold it in, and have enough ability to see into the future to know that he then has to get to a toilet. That's a lot for a little 2-year-old brain to handle! Not that it's never been done, but once again, it is specific to your child.

I have also seen attempts to forcibly potty-train back-fire with independent and strong-willed children who make up their minds that they won't be pushed into do something they don't want to (which can mean it can end up taking longer to potty train that child), or, even worse, who realize that this is, in fact, a form of power over adults and use it to manipulate the situation. I would tell your husband that you'll be happy to work with him on potty training, but that pressuring your child to be completely potty-trained by a certain time is more likely to backfire.

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J.G.

answers from Columbus on

Similar to your situation, my son just turned two, and I'm expecting my 2nd in March also. I was curious if I should attempt potty training already also. Advice I rec'd from friends is that its easier to wait until summer, when they can just wear a little pair of underwear and shorts...less clothes to clean if they mess, and easier for them to pull up and down. Secondly, I was reading the Supernanny's book, and her advice about it. She suggests to not expect this to happen until a child is 2.5 or 3, and that's okay. My thinking is that I don't want to be frustrated trying to potty train him in my last trimester of pregnancy, and possibly still be dealing with it, and night time messes, etc. while I have a newborn I'm adjusting to again. I think it makes sense to wait, and there is no rush. Sometimes I think people rush it just to say their kid is already potty trained at 2 and people are "wowed" by it. Good Luck.

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T.C.

answers from Steubenville on

Hi C. L...please do not expect him to be potty trained at 2. remember 1 thing, in any childs life of learning, it will all happen, just at different times for different children. Make sure your lil boy even shows interest in using a potty. lil boys often learn later than girls. if you both do want to rush the process, make sure he watches daddy alot, and have him go in with daddy when he goes and try..mommys just can't get that stand up and go thing down. having 2 in diapers is not so difficult, it becomes just another routine, so don't worry there :) oh, i never tried it, but i have heard people say to make a game of it, put a few cherios in the potty for yer lil boy to aim at..just makes it fun. my 3 boys were trained at in this order...
3 1/2-2 1/2-and 3. Night time training comes later, and pooping comes later. GL :) and congrats on #2 :)

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T.C.

answers from South Bend on

It sounds like you husband is able and willing to help.
That's great as things do go better if you have help. You son is at a good age now to begin to catch on to the 'program' :D
Kids usually don't tell you or volunteer that they have to go because they haven't put it all together yet. That is why they need to be trained through practice. It is much less frustrating for them if they are consistently helped onto the potty at regular interval especially at times when you know they will probably go. At you son's age trying him every 40-50 minutes especially before and after meals will go a long way in showing him what you expect. It's not hard and you shouldn't think he is destined to be unwilling but at times, if he fusses just encourage him all the while being intentional in what you want him to do. One thing I noticed about boys is that once they are on the way to really getting the idea, it is easier for them to stand and go and also more fun for them. Get a little stool for him to stand on and watch so he doesn't fall. Then sit him down and read a story or just have a nice visit. PT changes the way your family operates (in a good way) and you will not miss cleaning up dirty diapers. Enjoy watching you son learn this lesson while he has your consistent help.

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K.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

My son just turned two and I'm due at the end of February as well. We've had a potty in the bathroom for the two year old for a while now. I figured introducing it earlier wouldn't hurt anything. He goes from time to time but he only thinks about going on his own when he's getting his diaper changed. My goal is to buckle down and be consistent and get him trained after the holidays.

I also have a nine year old boy and he was past three before he was trained. He didn't necessarily fight it, but he figured out he could keep playing and just go in his diaper and then ask for a diaper change when it was convenient for him. But once he decided he was done with diapers it was instant, which was really nice!

If I were you, I would definitely get him a potty and start talking about it and see how he responds to sitting on it and using it. If he's interested, move forward, if not, it's probably not worth the stress on you and him to push the issue. Try it here and there and he will let you know when he is ready.

I have a friend who trained her not quite two year old boy by setting the kitchen timer and taking him to potty every 20 minutes. I think she said it took two or three days and he was done. I'm not sure that he's had any accidents or if she's had any other issues.

Oh, and we definitely reward! We have a jar of M's (M&M's - my son's favorite) in the bathroom for when he is successful. We did go through a phase though where he was asking to go all the time just for M's and would only pee about the size of a dime! We now reward for "big pees" since he's older.

Good luck!!!

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