Will Not Nurse....

Updated on February 05, 2010
M.A. asks from Island Lake, IL
11 answers

My daughter is going on 9 mo. This weekend she has denied nursing from me, she will take the bottle with no problems. I am continuing to try with her but is this her way of weaning off of me? I am not ready for this independence yet : (...
She is not sick, no earache...she is teething but don't see how/why the bottle would be ok but not me.. Looking for some insight.

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So What Happened?

After 5 days, she started to nurse again!! Thanks for all your wonderful words of advice.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

My mother tells me I weaned myself around 10 months old. My brother didn't wean himself until he was 14 months old! I would keep trying, but I would guess it's the beginning of the end.

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L.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

It could very possible be she is ready to stop. However I think you should still try to offer her the breast before bottle if you want to continue. It ight just be a phase.

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K.G.

answers from Detroit on

SHe is probably go through a nursing strike. Keep offering the breast as often as possible. Cuddle alot with her skin to skin, try bathing with her. Just because a baby is denying the breast does not mean that they are ready to wean.
Blessings, K.

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M.S.

answers from Hartford on

Rachel--I too experienced this exact dilemma with my second child. I didn't not have this obstacle with my first child which must prove no matter the nursing practices of mom, the child can also influence the nursing relationship. And I have similar nursing practices/beliefs/feelings like you so I thought I'd share what we did and how things turned out. Mt son began to self-wean at around 8 months. denied the breast and preferred a bottle filled with either breastmilk or formula (when I hadn't pumped enough, 20 oz. in a day). I was leant (and very thankfully accepted!) an electric breastpump (I had my own tubing and parts) and pumped as often as I could throughout the day to keep milk ducts active and to aviod an almost breast infection. I also had hoped DS would eventually re-accept nursing and get over this very common developmental hump. A few moms I know went with it (and gladly) and promoted weaning during this phase of around 8 mo. (infants begin to crawl around this time and get too easily distracted to be involved in nursing is what I read/researched and what our pediatrician mentioned). I nursed my DD until 7 mo pregnant with DS and she was 23 months when my body and mind and spirit began to switch gears and I gradually weaned her around 2 yrs. old. I wanted this same extended breastfeeding experience with my son. I kept on with the bottles but at night would offer the breast--not forcing. One night at about 1 mo. later he threw the bottle and accepted the breast! He never looked back. He learned to cope and deal with his new found distractions and mobility and learned to calm himself again to nurse. He is still nursing and is 18 mo. I have not begun to gradually wean him yet. So, thankfully my efforts paid off and got him off part time formula! So glad because he'd been sick a few times since and nursing was only liquid he would take. Best of luck to you and a great website/resource for you is Kellymom if you don't already know. Blessings to you both.

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G.J.

answers from Chicago on

I went through the exact same thing at the exact same age. It is a nursing strike. It is very unlikely she really wants to stop nursing. My daughter's nursing strike started because I scolded her for biting me. I was devastated. I did not want to give up. I pumped at her feeding times to keep my supply up and just kept offering to nurse to coax her back. Most nursing strikes are only a few days or so, but mine lasted two weeks! Be persistant... It could be teething or a change in the taste of the milk (has your diet changed?). I hope she will nurse again, keep trying...

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

I agree that it is probably a nursing strike, but since she is also teething, she may just be in pain. Nursing takes more effort than a bottle, so that may be why she won't nurse, but has no problem with the artificial nipple. Try some Tylenol before nursing and see if that helps.

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

my son weaned on to the bottle himself at 10 months, I was not producing enough or the flow for him any more i guess, my daugter preffered the bottle at 7 months.

but there again i was quite glad to stop nursing! so i didnt push it

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

I've heard that this age is common for nursing strikes. Keep offering it even when she refuses, and pump in the meantime. She will probably be back to her usual feedings in a few days. Mine did this right around this same time. It lasted almost a week, and then it was like it never happened.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Our neighbor breastfed all 5 of her kids (the youngest until he was 2.5 years-old).

Her 2nd weaned himself before his first birthday. We didn't experience this with our kids, but I have heard it before.

I'd ask your pediatrician to see if it's common or if it's a nursing strike as mentioned earlier (perhaps the taste of your milk has changed, etc). It's harder for us than it is for them (I had to stop nursing my daughter at 10 weeks to start chemo, and she did fine....took about 1 week to get over the feeling I was being a bad mom).

Good luck!

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

It's a nursing strike. You can call your local La Leche League leader for more info about this, or there are some great books at the library and resources online as well. Keep gently offering, especially when she's drowsy and before giving her food. My oldest daughter went through this at 6 months and it scared me to death b/c she was hardly eating solids, but in the end, she nursed again.... and until she did wean herself at 3.5 yrs old! Children RARELY wean by themselves before 2.5 and usually not until closer to 4 years of age.

:) hang in there!
M.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Its a NURSING STRIKE! Babies don't wean themselves under a year old, they just don't. Parents think a nursing strike is a baby weaning, when its really not.

STOP all bottles. STOP all formula, STOP all solids. ONLY offer nursing to her, and continue to offer at all times. Only offer to nurse at naptime, bed time, and wake time, no pacifier. Seh will come back, just keep offering, and stop all other foods like the bottlesa nd formula.

This is super common, but remember babies don't wean themselves but all babies have at least one nursing strike in their first year, which parents mistakenly think is a baby weaning, when its not. Please don't give up, keep offering and stop the bottles, she will come back, you justh ave to wait and encourage her. This is NOT weaning, I just want to make that clear as all the other responses have offered up this old wives tale. :)

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