Would You Allow Your 3 Year Old to Go to the Neighborhood Park with 8 Year Old?

Updated on March 19, 2012
H.M. asks from Boulder, CO
52 answers

I really don't think I'm ready for this but my gf just asked if I'd let her daughter and my daughter (4 and 3 respectively) go to the park today with their brothers (6 and 8) and while I don't think she is old enough (just turned 3 in February) I want to make sure I'm not being an over protective crazy parent.

The park is the equivalent of 3 suburban houses from my friends house and we can see it from her driveway but I'm still nervous - what do you think?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the responses. My gf is angry that I wouldn't allow it and is being all passive aggressive but oh well - I suggested we all go down together and her response was "they won't want us there" - huh - they are little kids with the oldest being my son who is 8 - he wouldn't have any issue with us being there. Whatever - if I hadn't already agreed to the playdate and told my kids I would not be going at all - I'm angry at her. :-(

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W..

answers from Chicago on

That would happen over my cold, dead, decaying, body.

You are not being an overprotective parent.

Those boys are going to play with each other. 4 and 3 are not old enough to watch themselves.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

No way. You are not over-protective in any way. Leaving two young children in charge of two even younger children on a playground is not safe.

4 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't. What if she decides to run out into the street? Is an 8 year old going to be able to stop her? I kind of doubt it. If it's only 3 houses down, then just go with them.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Easy answer, nope. I would NEVER rely on a 8 year old to be responsible for a 6, 4, and 3 year old.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sure--when pigs fly send 'em on down!

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hell no! The 6 and 8 year olds are going to want to play not watch their siblings.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

I would be ok with an 8 year old going to the park alone. I would not be ok with the 8 year old being responsible for a younger child (especially THAT young) alone. But we could all go to the park together and I could have mom talk on a bench while the kids play!

One thing that sometimes gets forgotten by parents (I'm speaking as an older sibling who was very mature and responsible early on): even if a child CAN be responsible, sometimes it's not FAIR to lay that burden on them. Let them practice their responsibility skills in chores around the home, or watching a younger sibling in the backyard, or playing nicely without beating up the sibling at home. If the older sibling has a friend at the park, it'd be hard to have fun with a toddler in tow (same as it's hard for us ADULTS to do just anything we want, with a toddler in tow).

4 moms found this helpful

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Um, hell to the no!

A 6 year old and an 8 year old are mature enough to know what to do if something should happen to the 3 and 4 year olds.

Legally, in most states, the age for a child to be able to babysit is 12 or 13. Even then, it depends on the maturity of the child. My daughter is 12 and she babysits a friend of ours son...but she does it at home with me here!

There is no way on all of God's green earth I would let a 4 &3 year old go to a park with a 6 & 8 year old without adult supervision. You're not being overprotective at all! You're being a good parent.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

No.

A parent should be there.
Too.

It takes, only 3 seconds for a child to be abducted, for example.
Can you run over there that fast?
It takes, a child only a split second to fall or get hurt.
Can you run over there that fast?
For example.

Put it this way: a child, in many States, it is against the law to even leave them in a car by themselves, while the parent goes into a store or even for 3 seconds.

Also as another example: my 9 year old daughter and her 12 year old cousin, and her Aunty, went to the park near our house. They walked there and back. On the way back, my daughter fell onto the sidewalk. And both her knees, got totally totally cut open and it was bleeding profusely and she couldn't walk and had bad contusions. The Aunty, had to CARRY my daughter home. And she was crying due to the pain. They did not have a cell phone, thus could not call me.
From this accident, my daughter's knees, took like 2 weeks for her to get mobility back in her knees so she could walk without pain.

3 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

no. I would suggest a group trip.
Let's ALL go! It'll be fun!

after giving it some thought..........STILL NO! and I'm not al together sure I'd let my 8 yr old go alone either!

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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Nope! We don't let our DD out of our sight even on our personal property. I wouldn't be comfortable being that far away should something go wrong or if someone spies 4 very young children playing without a parent. Maybe I am over protective but I wouldn't be comfortable not being right there.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

No way. Kids fall on playground equipment, kids have conflicts, kids throw rocks/wood chips.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Please do not even question for one second that you're "overprotective." Your gut knows this is wrong so follow your gut. Also...it's probably illegal. Tell your friend to check the laws where you live regarding supervision of children. If I saw four kids this age in a park completely unattended I'd probably either call the cops or gather them all up and walk them back home right away.

These boys are young kids themselves. Ask your girlfriend, would the boys know what to do, and DO it immediately, if: A stranger started talking to them or the girls? A stranger came up and tried to grab or touch anyone? If one of the girls fell off a piece of play equipment? If one of the girls vomited or got a cut or scrape? If one of the girls wandered off and suddenly wasn't there?

Mostly these things don't happen. Stranger abduction frankly is actually rare. But even if you take that out of the equation -- would you let a child of 6 or 8 be the person in charge when a smaller child falls from the top of a slide or runs into a pole while dashing around? I've seen both those happen on a normal play day at the park. Can an 8-year-old really make the call on whether Sally just got a little bruise or Sally hit her head hard and needs 911 now?

Seeing the park from her driveway isn't adequate and would certainly not be any defense when Child Protective Services comes to her house to ask why no adults were present with these children. Tell your friend that though a lot of parents long for "good old days" when kids roamed unfettered, asking an 8-year-old to be a babysitter isn't the good old days, it's potentially neglect.

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J.H.

answers from Birmingham on

Not in a million years. TOO young. Who told you you were being overprotective?

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Nope, not at all. 6 & 8 year olds are not responsible enough to supervise. Heck, H., I don't even feel comfortable letting my 17 year old watch my two year old for more than an hour because she gets too distracted and looses sight of him. Toddlers are fast and can be a handful. The minute you turn your back, something bad happens.

Stick to your gut, sister.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

um, no.
not the 3 year old, 4 year old, 6 year old or 8 year old either.
My youngest is 9. I wouldn't let her go to the park unless a teen or adult was with her. And I would never want her to be responsible for a younger child.

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⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

No way would I put that kind of responsibility and pressure on an 8 y/o!

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M..

answers from Detroit on

I was thinking what wickerparkgirl said, but Im glad shes the one that said it. lol

It would be a no for me too.

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P.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

NOOOO!!!!! What if something does happen...how can the 8yo be held responsible?? Heck, I myself would NOT go with a 6yo and other two kids under 6, what if they run in different directions and I can't keep an eye on each one of them? No way...

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Nope, too young. I finally let my kids take my youngest with them. She is almost 8. Anything under that is too young IMO.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Uh, hell no. 8 is too young to be responsible for the rest of the kids, especially the toddlers.

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M.T.

answers from Dallas on

Im being totally honest. I have a 5 year old and I wouldn't feel comfortable with her leaving with an 8 year old just simply on a maturity standpoint alone if something happened. Has nothing to do with being over protective. I just don't feel like She nor I are ready for that yet. We live in a VERY nice neighborhood and I am still not ok with it at her age.

Do what you feel is best for you and your family. Trust yourself and your judgement.

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B.R.

answers from Madison on

No!

And especially no! if you are going to be gabbing with a friend while they are at the park...we all know when talking with friends we pay far less attention to our children....and if you say you don't....your probably lying :)

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N.R.

answers from Fort Collins on

hi,
NO WAY.All the kids are way too young.This is way too much pressure on your 8 years old to have to watch so many little kids,I have 4 kids (9,6,3 and 1) and because of the irresponsabiliy of parents like this,i always end up with a few more. They're is a little (about 8 years old) that is always left alone with her 6 years old brother.Parents answer when i asked:oh she is really responsible and can take care of herself and her brother.So far she has ask me twice if she could go to the bathroom in my house(ok I am me and so she is safe with me but what if she asked that to a pedophile??? ),ask another couple to take her back home with her brother by car(they were ok couple too but what if she ask the wrong person someday) and ask me to walk her and her brother back home when it was snowing and she had a bunch of school stuff to carry and her dad was no show to pick them up at school.Everybody else but the parents is looking out for her as we feel bad for her.They have six kids and so the parents are often busy with the little one at home.(Their excuse).Euhh I have a one and a 3 years old and i still pick up my kids at school .Is it a hassle? euh ya sometimes when i have to wake them up from their naps ,put snowsuits and then pick up the older ones.It will indeed be easy to just let them walk home by themselves(0.6mile)but that is just not right and i will never forgive myself if something happened to them because of my lazyness.So no way.Listen to your gut feeling.And print this out to show to your friend may be as not even ONE person as said OH sure let them go .
N.

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Not a single, solid, unconditional yes? I'm shocked! LOL!!

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

My son is only 4..but I wouldn't even let him go to the park himself at 8..so NO way would I let a group of kids 8 and under go to the park.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wouldn't do it. Eight is too young to be responsible for a three year old child (or any other younger child).

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

NO. Maybe with a mature 12 year old. Maybe. 6 and 8 y/o in charge? Hahahahaha NO.

Are you going to be sitting in her driveway to watch them? Might as well get a little closer and sit at the park to watch them.

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

Ummmm, NO, NO, and NO. My son is 9 and isn't allowed at the park by himself. Too many weirdos out there.
Just my two cents,
R.

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T.A.

answers from Seattle on

I wouldn't! Not even when they get older than that, kids disappear in the blink of an eye. Sex offenders look for unsupervised kids, they go to parks. And a seemingly safe park where parents trust their kids to go alone? Even better for them. Sorry, no way. Not my kids! If I am busy, they don't go. I will go and watch them at least, as long as I can. Maybe they can go with a friend in middle school. If then!

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

I didnt even read your full question.. But just from the title... Hell no..

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Nope, your GF can just keep on being mad. The kids are just not old enough for this....

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J.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

No. Absolutely not. An 8 year-old child cannot provide appropriate supervision for a 6 y/o, a 4 /yo, and a 3y/o, particularly at the distance you are describing.

Please do not worry about all of this "over-protective" labeling nonsense that's being spouted (aka helicopter parenting) by parents who say they just want their kids to be "independent."

We all want our children to learn independence. However, that happens on a gradual basis, as we watch, observe, determine our child's level of abilitly..... and THEN we let go...little by little.

Go with what your mothering instincts are telling you (...."I'm still nervous..."). That inner voice is there for a reason. Trust it.

All the best to you and your family.

J. F.

ETA: I think this is the first time I have ever seen every response, and so many, in agreement! Are the planets in some weird alignment? : )

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

No, not unless there were moms of these kids in the vicinity of the kids. Within loud voice distance not yelling distance. If I can't talk to the kids and they hear me I am too far away.

Kids that are 3 have very little in common with 8 yr. old kids. They will ignore the little one in a few minutes and go play what every they are playing. The little one will be left out, alone, perhaps crying from hurt feelings, etc...

If they were all 8 then yes, I would let them go play as long as I could still see them and they hear me at any time. I would not leave the area though. I would still be out front and paying attention.

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D.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'm shocked at your friend's response even more than by her request. I only just started letting my 10 year old go to the park with my 6 year old last summer, and I was freakin' out the whole time they were gone. Ended up riding my bike down (about 2 city blocks away) to 'check' on them. My 6 year old is pretty mature, but my 10 year old is not at all. Although, as it happened, my youngest ended up throwing wood chips at some other little kid (a little boy that was destroying my son's wood chip pile - something that irks him to no end), and the parent of the other kid started yelling at my boys and shouting 'where are your parents!' Doh! They basically ran back home, and told me about it. I guess in that instance I was actually glad I wasn't there to get yelled at by some kid's mom. ;) I digress...

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M.R.

answers from Provo on

In my opinion 3 is too young to go with that age. My sister went to the park when she was three(many many years ago). A cop ended up picking her up taking her back to the station...my mom was terrified! (long story short, older kids were supposed to be watching her about the same age, didn't do a good job and she was left alone!) Could have been bad.

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

The park seems close...closer than ours, ours is 2 blocks away and we can see part of it from our house too...but I say No.

They are just too little and the 6 and 8 year olds are just too little to be responsible for watching them, sorry!

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M.O.

answers from New York on

No way, no how, no siree bob.

The youngest a kid can be and *possibly* be expected to babysit is 14, and that's if the kid has taken a babysitting class, if you know her and her family, etc.

I probably wouldn't even let and 8-yr-old go to the park by himself, let alone kids 6, 4, and 3. An 8-yr-old, I figure, needs to be in the line of sight of an adult, and in shouting distance. A 3-yr-old needs to be in arm's reach (of an ADULT), just about.

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J.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

No way. I think they are ALL to young to be going anywhere without you in arms reach. Always, better to be safe then sorry. What would you do if something happened? 6 and 8 year olds are too young to be going anywhere alone. Don't do it. What is so important that you couldn't take the time to go to the park with them? I think you know the right thing to do here. Enjoy every minute with your sweet children. They'll be grown and gone before you know it.

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My kids don't even play in the front yard by themselves. No way they'd go further.

I took mine to theb neighborhood park today, .5 miles from my house, and there were a ton of kids there and about 5 adults. Sad. There were issues and if I wasn't there who would watch after my kids?

You did the right thing mom!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

NO NO NO NO NO NO!

It is so easy & quick for anyone to pick up & grab your child. The end.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Are you saying with out an adult? HELL BLEEPING NO! An eight year old is NOT responisble enough to monitor a 3 & 4yr old the 6 and 8 yr old are just barely old enough to monitor themselves.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

No, three and four year olds don't need to be outside of their yards on their own without adult supervision.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Good Lord no! My youngest two are 6 and 8 and they're not responsible enough to go to the park themselves, never mind be responsible for a couple of pre-schoolers. Your friend is buts for suggesting this!

A.G.

answers from Houston on

I wouldn't even let my 9 year old daughter to the park alone .

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids are 12 and 9 and they don't go to the park by themselves. And we live in a VERY low crime area, and we live across the street from the police department AND the school. You are doing the right thing. Good luck.

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

No way! They're all too young to be there without an adult, it's not safe. I think if something were to ever happen to kids that young, the parents could be found negligent. I do not even allow my 3 1/2 year old to play outside by himself, and we live in the country.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

No. No. No. Anything could happen and I wouldn't want to take that risk. My kiddos are soooo special to me. I insist on having an adult there always.

L.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

Absolutely not. My almost 6yo wouln't even be allowed to do that.

~.~.

answers from Tulsa on

Absolutely not! Your friend needs a reality check.

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A.L.

answers from Houston on

Too young! You don't have to hover, but just be there. Why was she mad? What a strange response..

Updated

Too young! You don't have to hover, but just be there. Why was she mad? What a strange response..

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

no way. Not without an adult.

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