17Month Old - Time Out for Hitting? or Too Young?

He's too young for a real time out but not too young for correction and a modified time out. He won't understand to stay in his time out. But its not to young to remove him from the situation and set him someplace while you stay with him, holding his arms, and verbally correct him, not letting him get up from the spot you placed him for several seconds (30 -60). However a verbal correction and removing her from situation is about all I do ever for my 23 mo old.

Yes, ask the provider first. It may not be an actual timeout. They may just separate your child from the situation, and call it a time out. If she hits, she gets taken away from that specific scenario. I did that with my son, and it was very effective. 17 months old (in my opinion) is too young for a true timeout. 17 months is not too young for separation and deflection, though. Personally, I don't think the gentle hands bit really works until they are a bit older. I also think she is old enough to be firmly told "no." Hitting is serious, and I think it warrants a serious tone. (Again, my opinion.)

Also, I'm willing to bet your daughter CAN and DOES hurt children when she hits. It's like a little dog who bites and is not taken seriously, because they are small. Yet, if a big dog bites...that dog is bad and needs to be put down. Her size doesn't matter, hitting hurts. She should be taken away from the child she is hitting. In an effort to protect that child, and show your daughter that's not tolerated. I'm sure that's what they are doing.

My son's Preschool (ages 2-4) never used timeout for any age. Children were very well supervised and immediately redirected. They rarely had behavior problems.
8kidsdad? what is a serrogate mom? I've never heard of a daycare provider being compared to a surrogate who carries a fetus for 9 months. I'm curious-is this a new vocabulary trend or are you trying to imply something?

I worked at a daycare, once they moved up to the toddler room, they got timeouts for hitting or biting. Timeouts were really just being moved to another area and being told no hiting/biting, and sat on the floor. If they could talk, they would be told to say sorry. At a daycare setting, rules and discipline really need to be consistent for all the kids. It wouldnt be fair if the other kids get removed from the table for throwing food, but get your daughter gets to stay no matter what she does?? I would look into what happened, they should be giving reminders and warnings before timeouts. But my opinion is shes old enough to sit and think about it if she hurts another kid.

Your daycare provider is right. Please don't interfere with it. You are lucky that she is doing this because it will get your child used to having timeouts. In fact, she might be more successful than you at getting your child to sit in timeout, simply because she's NOT the mama!

I think that you are misunderstanding what timeout actually is. There is never anything wrong with a timeout. It is a break in a child's actions that makes them have to stop what they are doing wrong and not be able to do anything else for a small space of time. It is actually not a punishment. You are doing "gentle hands" at home. She is doing timeout at school. It actually dovetails pretty well.

She doesn't actually understand yet what the timeout actually is for, but that's okay. She will begin to understand it as her brain develops. By that time, she will also know that she has to sit there. Have you seen Supernanny and how those kids run all over the place, rather than sit down in timeout, and drive the parent's crazy? You don't want that! So let your daycare lady do this and be happy that by the time your child understands the connection between the timeout and the fact that she isn't supposed to hit, she will not be acting like those kids on TV!

Dawn

I don't really get how "time outs" are effective in terms of punishments. For me, a "time out" is a way for a kid step away from a situation and get his or her composure. If she is worked up and hits because she can't control herself then a time out will work to help her calm herself. But if she is just doing it because she is 17 months old and it's just a naughty behavior then redirection and a firm no works best. I think the important thing is that you are asking them to do what you do at home.

My son is 15 months and we do pseudo timeouts. I don't think at this age they can associate "I am sitting here because I hit, I shouldn't hit others", but I do think they can understand that when they hit (or bite, like mine) then they are removed from the fun they were having. His "timeouts" means that I pick him up, tell him firmly "No biting, that hurts Mommy" and put him in the pack and play. He is still in the same room, he still sees me, he just doesn't get to play for a minute or two. At this age I think it is more the interruption of fun that gets their attention rather than sitting and contemplating what they have done that they shouldn't have. If you aren't comfortable with what day care is doing, by all means talk to them about it!

There is nothing wrong with what your serrogate mom is doing. Let your provider continue.

Good luck to you and yours.

Too young - a waste of time and energy. They dont really "get it" at that age. At my daycare, they start time out in the two year old room - with limited success with the young two year olds.

I agree with your decision 100%

My 1yo understood timeouts for hiting/hurting

Couple weeks of timeouts and then really didn't need them again except two or three times a YEAR until he was 3.

Find out exactly what is going on. I don't think a toddler understands "I am sitting here because I hurt someone". But I do think I toddler can understand that they were doing something they liked, and when they did a certain act (hit someone with it), they had to stop doing what they liked. But, at that age, 'timeout' shouldn't be more than a minute long, so it's really just removing the child from that situation. I used brief time-outs at that age.

That said, you are the mom and it is definitely within your rights to ask your childcare provider to have discipline practices that are consistent with yours. And if you want to go with "gentle hands", then she should too.

If the daycare's "time-outs" mean sitting in a certain spot for X amount of time for doing X then yes, I agree that 17 months is too young for this. I think saying "gentle" and redirecting is the way to go at this age. Hopefully the daycare is just moving her to a different area when this happens. I'd ask to speak to the director about what is actually happening.

I agree that it is too young. Look at Dr. Sears website and Berkely Network, and they do not advocate timeout at such a young age. It's better to tell kids "no hitting" and "hands are not for hitting...hands are for _____" and to hold the child's hand.