20 Month Old Throwing - Too Young for Time Out?

Probably too young for a full time out, but not too young to be pulled to the side and told not to do something. You don't want to use "no" a lot and they don't understand contractions. They are only verbal enough to hear a few words. The words they most understand are the nouns and verbs. So, when you say "don't hit the dog" they hear "hit dog". Instead of "Don't hit" use "be gentle", instead of "no throwing balls" use "roll the ball on the floor", instead of "don't stand on the couch" use "the couch is for sitting, you can stand on the floor".
Save time outs for when he's throwing a fit and really needs time away to calm down. Otherwise, just correct and redirect.

No, he is not to young for time out. However, at his age anything more than 2 minutes is to long. I would also take away the item he threw and if it is a toy it is gone for a week.

Hello,

A 2 year-old is not too young for time out. Medically speaking a 2 year old has the same reasoning ability as a well-trained dog. By that I mean you can expect a 2 year-old to understand and follow directives such as "come and stay and sit" etc. Your child is just testing the waters and you need to hold the line. I used the time step (low to the ground) and not the highchair as my child would always try to climb out. I didn't want a safety issue. Keep calm and hold the line. A good book is Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

We use time outs. We also reinforce the no throwing by explaining where the item should stay and give it back to her to use it properly one or two more times then it goes away, even if it's food. If she screams at the dinner table we will turn her chair around or put it in a corner until she calms down.

For timeouts, that are not at the table, we put her in a corner and stay close by to be sure she doesn't get up. If she does get up, we put her right back and start over again.

What I'm about to say may seem mean to some. They are never too young to learn things. My son is 12 months old. He does not like to be contained, whether it be in a highchair or playpen, he's not happy if he doesn't have the freedom to roam around some. Usually I try to encourage his curiosity. However there are times when he's too curious for his own good. Sometimes he gets into things he's not supposed to, like power cords. I tell him no and he just smiles at me. He's testing his boundaries and seeing what Mommy and Daddy will let him get away with. To teach him that no means no, when he really presses the issue and keeps playing with something he's not supposed to do he goes into his playpen. He has toys in there but doesn't like to be in there because he's not free to roam the house. Sometimes though no needs to be enforced no matter how young they are. I don't want him to get hurt so I try to teach him that some things are not toys. At so young this is the closest I can get to a "timeout" since he doesn't sit still. I'm sure some people will disagree with me. But it's never too young to start teaching good behavior. By allowing him to get away with behavior that is bad, you're telling him it's ok and he won't ever see a reason to stop. He's testing his limits and sometimes it's up to you as a parent to put your foot down. I'm sure it won't be easy. It never is with my little one. When I put him in the playpen he starts to cry and hold up his arms. But after a couple minutes when I tell him no, reassuring him that Mommy loves him but that he has to play in there for a while, he gives up and plays with his toys in there. May not seem like much of a time out to some people but it gets the point across. Good luck.

I don't think he's two young for a 2 minute timeout. You might even try an old car seat as the time out chair so you can buckle him in. It only took my daughter 2 timeouts to realize that was not a place she wanted to be. I always give a verbal first and if they continue then it's timeout. You might even have to increase time depending on how stubborn the little guy is. It sounds like he is asserting his independence. Hope this helps. Good luck!

No way is he too young!! I started time outs as soon as they were oppositional. Key is to keep it short and have the same place every time. Even if they keep up the behavior, you have to keep putting them in time out away from the stimulus of the behavior. The book I read (Drawing the Line) said that you only have to bo it one more time then they misbehave. It sucked for a couple of days, but they eventually get it and you will be happier. They need to know that there are some behaviors that are unacceptable and it is our responsibility to teach them. You are not harming him, only setting him up for successs when he is older. I think "I am raising men, not boys. Would I want him to do this to his wife later?" and it puts it all in perspective to me. Good luck!

My pediatrician told me at this age to pick one behavior (for my son, it's hitting) and use time out only for that. She also recommended using a pack and play or somewhere he can be restrained (high chair would work) so that it doesn' turn into that game. She advised that for all other behaviors involving something else like a toy or object (throwing, fighting with a sibling, etc), to put that object into "time out"- take it away! I've followed her advice and it works pretty well. This age is such a challenge because it's always hard to know how much they understand...Good luck!

You can use time out, just remember that it should only be 1.5 minutes due to his age, it is a minute per year.
Don't use a high chair, no matter where you put it, it is still his chair for eating.
Use a Rude Rug or naughty step, even a corner, just remember to explain why he is there, and get down on his level. Make sure what you are disciplining him for is really an issue for you, don't use time outs unless you have given a warning and if he does it after the warning then and only then should you use time out.
But he is not too young, you need to set boundaries and rules now or it will get out of control later.

Not too young, when I started, I learned you teach them about time-out by putting them in a chair holding them down, saying that you are putting them in time out. You then let go of them, turn around and in the next second say "you can get up now." That reinforces they don't get up until you tell them it is time. Then after this happens a few times, and you can see they get the idea, you can set a timer for about 1 1/2 minutes and have them get up when the timer goes off. Most important is to stay calm and unemotional. Easier said than done when they get older.
Good luck.
R.

Definitely not too young for a time out or whatever method of discipline you choose. A little bit of discipline now will save you lots of headache later! Good luck.

we put our 18 month old in a tall chair where she cant get down on her own... we stand nearby so we know she wont fall. but not close enough that she thinks we are about to pick her up.

we let her sit (she is usually crying). while we calmly explain what she did wrong, what she should do (in SIMPLE terms- mama said no... you do not throw-) and we tell her to calm down. we will not get her down until she calms down and stops crying... BUT we stay there near her.

It's a great time to start time out. You have to keep at it though.
I used the hold them way myself. I would hold his hands in his lap and look the other way for not talking for two minutes, turn to him explain why he was in time out and ask him to say sorry.
I watch SuperNanny sometimes and she suggest doing what you did, continue to walk them back until they sit the amount of time of their age (1 1/2-2 minutes for a 20 month old). If they don't sit for the whole two minutes they go back into time out. I have seen parents do this for over two hours for a simple two minute time out with one child in order to get them to sit. If you stick to it, and do it everytime the child breaks a rule, it works great.
I also found time out work when we are out--we go on outings like the zoo or museum and we have had to take time outs there. Once they sit in time out, it works and works everywhere.

I'm not sure that he's really old enough to understand the concept of "time out". That's something that both my daughters would do to try to make a game out of it or something.

Taking the magnets away temporarily is a good idea. When you bring them back out, if he tries it again, I'd probably sit down with him and say something like, "Oh - those magnets go here on the fridge...see?" and put it back. Redirect the fun to putting them back to where they're supposed to be.

As far as redirecting - that's really what worked best for us when our kids were that age (oldest is 5, youngest is 28 months). Our youngest we still have to "redirect" some. "Oh, where's Daddy?" and she'll try to go find him, point at him, and say, "Dere-E-is". I still don't think she would really grasp "time-outs", but we do plan on using it when we need to, which will likely be soon.

Good luck!

Instead of putting him in time out since it's still hard for him to understand and yes at this age it alot of times just becomes a game. Put whatever object he is misbehaving with "in time out". This way you can put them up high enough so he can't get to them, but yet he still gets the idea that if you are putting his stuff in time out he won't like that and he'll stop the behavior. Goodluck

He isn't too young for time out, but I prefer to use time out for more serious infractions -- hitting, biting, a chance to cool down during a tantrum, etc.

Throwing is definitely an irritating phase, but I don't think that time out is the best solution. Instead, try a combo of redirection, removal of him (or the toy) from the situation, and ignoring.

Remember that kids throw things to learn what happens when they do. Consider it a science experiment about gravity. ;-)

If he's throwing something that isn't harmful to him or others (balls, stuffed animals, even the fridge letters unless you deem that harmful), just let it be. I promise that this phase will pass.

If he throws something that you don't want him to throw (silverware, maybe the fridge letters), tell him that no, he can't throw that, but he can throw a ball instead. Then, take him outside or to the living room (or wherever he plays), and give him a ball. When he throws the ball, give him tons of positive reinforcement.

If he's very persistent about throwing whatever you don't want him to throw, then put it away until you think he's ready to try safely playing with it again (can be an hour, a day, a week, a month). If necessary, remove him from the situation -- similar to a time out, but without trying to enforce a specific naughty chair. Just move him to another room, and get him playing in there, keeping him away from whatever he wasn't supposed to throw.

As much as possible, be matter-of-fact, and don't make a big deal about it.

I have a 19-month-old myself (in addition to a 5- and 4-year-old), and we've been through this many times. This, too, shall pass. :-)

My son is also 20 months, and he does similar things... usually while in the process of doing something he's not supposed to, he looks at me and says "no, no, no." Our pediatrician says 18 months is the age where you can start holding them accountable for their actions. So, no, 20 months is not too young. The pediatrician recommends a short (2 min) timeout. She says this form of discipline is very effective and that if you start reigning in these behaviors around 18 months, it'll make age 2 (aka "the terrible 2's) go a lot better. Good luck!

Oh, and she also recommend getting a little stool to use for the timeout. At this age, steps are too much fun (at least for my son). So we have a little timeout stool that sits in the corner of our dining room all the time.

Hi S.
I remember my daughter going through this phase and it drove me crazy. She is now 3 years old and I can tell you with great ease that it was a phase. I can't remember how long it lasted but I remember it was long enough. Try this: try to ignore it. I know it is hard to do, but you are making a big deal of it. I understand you don't want him to throw I was the same way but when he realizes that he is not getting a reaction from you even if it is a negative reaction he is getting one. See if it works and praise him and show him love when he doesn't do it. I hope this works for you because I remember how frustrating this is. I hope I sow my own words because I have a 15 month old who is probably going to be doing it anytime soon. Good luck and I hope this helps you. God Bless!

I would put him in time out--about a minute--but the minute doesn't start untill he's still and quiet...sometimes at this age you have to sit with them. It's hard. My daughter trows things sometimes and I put her on our high stools that she can't get down from...it usually lasts about 5mins. but sometimes longer. After I feel it's been long enough, I talk to her to make sure she knows why I put her there...and she usually doesn't remember, but I keep doing the same process to keep consistant.

I would try to do something as soon as he throws something. It works better if you do something right away and do the same thing...if it's holding him on the cough until he calm down.

Little about me:
SAHM of 3--12yr son, 7 & 3 yr daughters. I work part time doing Mary Kay and inventory work...but I do my best to keep my kids my priority.