3 Year Old Girl Throwing Fits

I would seriously look at her diet. Is she eating all wheat and dairy like mac and cheese and cereal and milk? If so you need to get her off these foods for a few weeks. The proteins in these foods do not break down fully in some kids and are converted to opiates. When they 'come off' the artificial drug high they throw horrible tantrums. Another approach would be to have her evaluated by a Homeopathic physician, one that is classically trained (hard to find). When a kid gets the right homeopathic rememdy for their personality and body type, they turn into the normal kid you knew was inside all along. If either of these two things I mentioned are the culprit, no amount of discipline will make a difference. Ask yourself if her behavior makes sense. Sure- it is typical for some three year olds but mine were never like that.

We went through this with our 5 yr. old and still have it from time to time with our 3 yr. old. The only thing that I have found that seems to break this habit for my girls is consistency! so much easier said than done! The moment our older one would start to throw a fit, we would immediately take her to her room - kicking and screaming. We told her that she is allowed to scream and cry all she wants, but it has to be in her room. This way she was allowed to get her frustrations/anger out - but didn't get any attention from anyone in the house. We told her when she was ready to use her words, she could come out and we would love to help her. We even had to hold the door closed, so they would stay in. It takes time, and lots of patience - our older one stopped once she saw that she wasn't getting what she wanted. Our younger one stopped pretty quickly too - but she's a bit more independent & strong-willed, so we still have issues from time to time...but don't we all? :) good luck!

I have one that's going thru this right now.
Most of the time the contributing factors are, she's tired, or hungry.
Sure she throws fits when she doesn't get her way ( it started the day she turned 3) but it escalates when she's starting to get hungry, or she's ready for a nap.
Her schedule has also changed up on me. All of a sudden she's hungry and ready for a nap much earlier.
I just try to ignore it. If she's just throwing a fit over something little, I let her have it out on her own, preferably behind her closed door.
Good luck, and let me know how it goes.

My boys have all done this. Around 3 sounds about right, my youngest was the worst though. As some of the other Mom's said, being tired or hungry can lead to fits. So can the time of day. 4:30-6:00pm and bed time were always rough for us. That said, make sure she's in a safe place where she won't harm herself and ignore her. Or at least appear to ignore her. If that doesn't work, or it's interfering with something pick her up and place her in her room. Tell her she can come out when she can talk to you and tell you what she needs or when she can be quite, then shut the door and walk away. If she comes out screaming, calmly put her back without saying anything and shut the door and walk away again. This often led to my boys taking a nap on the floor by their door. I learned to peek under before opening bedroom doors!

If you are out in public, remove her from the situation as quickly as possible. My boys all know that if they don't behave I will and do turn around and go home. I had a friend who had a daughter that threw major temper tantrums every where. She had the grocery store hold her groceries in the freezer on several occasions until she or her husband could come back later that day to finish shopping.

Just be consistant in your reaction to the fit. If you react she will continue to throw the fits, because it is getting your attention.

I hope this helps.

My older two went through this, but have outgrown that stage, as their speeech has developed enough for me to understand what they're saying. My three year old however, is right in the midst of the fit throwing. I agree about the lack of sleep being an issue. I also think not understanding her is frustrating. Fortunatly, my older kids can decipher most of what she says.

However, what I've done with all the kids is tell them it's fine to scream and cry, but we don't want to hear it. Go downstairs (away from everyone) until you're done. Usually she'll stop, but it's taken awhile to get to this point. If she refuses to stop and refuses and refuses to go, I give her a choice, "either you can walk downstairs by yourself, or I will carry you."

Usually the only fits she throws outside of the house is at the Y when we're leaving. That's when I pick her up and off we go, the hole time I'm telling her, "That's not how Lea's (our last name)act." Which I say a lot throughout the day.

J.,

Our daughter is about the same age as yours. She will turn four in May. She is usually a lovely and well behaved child, however there is this other screaming brat that she can turn into every once in a while. Most of the time it is communication problems, lack of sleep, or being overly hungry that triggers the incident.

I have discovered that my daughter needs a very structured schedule to feel her best. She needs to eat and sleep at the same times each day. I can move a mealtime or a nap time if I need to but no more than one fairly small change per day is tolerated well. A well balanced diet is also important. To much sugar can causes her to run around like the energizer bunny, drive me crazy, and makes her moody.

Communication problems are usually the reason for her worst melt downs. If what she is trying to tell me is not being understood she will get more and more frustrated. This can lead to a crying, whiny, hick-up filled temper tantrum. The only solution I have found for these is to help her calm down, listen very carefully, and repeat what I think she is trying to say back to her and ask I have it right. My mantra becomes "I can't fix what is wrong if I don't understand you".

We came close to having one of these tantrums last night. We needed to go to the grocery store, but she wanted to go home first from day care to get a drink. So, I thought well I'll just fix dinner and then go to the store. Nope, she wanted none of that. Once at the house she refused to let my husband get her out of the booster seat. It took me ten minutes to figure out that she just wanted me to go into the house get her cup refilled and leave directly for the store. The minute I figured out what she was trying to say she relaxed and
went back to being her happy-go-lucky self. I did tell her that she owed us an apology for being so difficult, especially when the solution was so simple. My husband stayed home to fix dinner, while she and I went to the store.

Two tricks that work really well are copying her speech and repeating what I think she has said. If she whines or uses an unpleasant voice I whine back that I can't understand her when she talks like that. She usually laughs and quits whining. Repeating back what she has said lets her know I'm listening. Hope this helps.

J. N.

I don't have any personal experience, but I heard someone say they cured their child of this by throwing ice cold water in their face in the middle of the tantrum. It was such a shock, the child never did it again. Sounded funny to me.

Hi J., Sorry that I don't have any wonderful words of wisdom, but just wanted to know you're not alone. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who is the best at throwing tantrums, screaming, laying down on the ground, etc. Spanking certainly doesn't do the trick. A few times, it has helped when I've whispered in her ear to her. I look forward to seeing your other responses with advice!