Help with Potty Training a Toddler Girl (Almost 3)

Hi J., you need to be more firm, and use some discipline that is going to make you daughter tell herself, I ain't doing that again, when I hear parents tell me a child WON"T do something I'm thinking how can a parent aloow a child to flat out defy them, I would be tanning her butt, and I would take back control, ovbious she's the one in control and sit her butt on the potty and make he sit there until she dos what she needs to do, and if she sits ther all day so be it, but you sweetie are aloowing her to disobey and disrespect you, by throwing her panties at you, No Mamn that's not acceptible. Mom for 24 years J.

J., Boy can I relate. My daughter who is now 8 was the same way. She held her bowels so long, that she actually made herself sick. She did decide at three and a half when we were on vacation that she could go the the potty instead of wearing the heavy "swimmers." She didn't like the "swimmers" in the pool. She said she could go and did. Since then, she never had an accident. She has always been willfull. She wasn't ready until it was her idea. I advise you to be patient. This too will pass and you will look back and see that too much was made of potty training at a certain age. She will learn when she is ready.

She may be a little stressed about the new baby coming, I would suggest letting it go and having her wear pull-ups for now. Let everyone adjust to the new baby, and then try again, maybe using her "big sister" or "big kid" role as leverage. If it becomes a battle of wills it will not be productive for anyone.

J., please step back from the potty training for a little while. You are 9 months pregnant, girlfriend! You are putting way too much pressure on yourself and your daughter. Even if you got your daughter fully trained today, she'd probably regress shortly after the baby is born anyway. Let me say that I truly feel your pain. I was in the exact same situation - 3 year old daughter who wouldn't potty train and a new baby on the way. All my daughter's friends were in preschool (all potty trained of course) and I felt terrible that she couldn't go. Guess what. It doesn't matter. My daughter is now top of her class in First Grade and she potty trained herself in one day when she was 3 1/2. I acutally wrote a rather funny article about the whole experience. Let me know if you want to read it and I will e-mail it to you. Bottom line (no pun intended!) is that kids have control over just two things in their lives - what goes in and what comes out. There is absolutely no use battling over it because this is one area where the parents have absolutely no control. She will use the potty when she's good and ready and not a moment sooner. Cuddle her up. Lavish your love and attention on her because these one on one times will be hard to come by once the baby is born. Take the pressure off both of you and just shelve the potty training for now. Once she sees that you are no longer emotionally invested in it, that might be enough for her to come around and try it on her own.

Best of luck to you and your precious daughter and congratulations on baby #2!!! I wish you a quick and painless delivery!!

I will tell you what, slow down! You are having a baby and your baby (3 yr old) is feeling the pressure, go back to diapers, get her some books for her to read about it, and just go slow. I guarantee no matter how long it takes her to potty train she will not wear diapers to high school. Childhood is short, they need no pressure now.
Just my 2 cents

My daughter was the LAST child potty trained in her pre-school class. The other kids would pull up their clothes and say, "see my underpants/panties?" My daughter would lift up her clothes and say, "see my diaper?" She just didn't care.
My former pediatrician (my actual md as a child), was the grandfather of one of my daughter's classmates (yeah, it was really cool getting to know him as a person), told me that it takes ONE day to potty train a child: the day the child wants to be potty trained. Choose your battles - and this isn't one of them. Your daughter is "reading" your stress. I question why your pre-school doesn't take children in diapers? You would think that if they are a "developmental" school, they would be tolerant of children "developing" at different times. I'd look into other pre-schools and, hard as it may be to do so, appreciate your little one's independence and sense of self. She'll do it. Just give her time.

Don't give up. She will do it when it's her time.
I know it's hard to not get upset, but it just becomes a hot-button issue for her too.
It WILL happen, just put her back in diapers and be non-chalant about it.
good luck

No more pull-ups ever.
This sends mixed messages, and if she goes on the floor or in her panties she needs to clean it up while you watch her to make sure she does a good job, I mean good enough that you don't have to reclean it later. The harder you make her work the first few times the less she will have this attitude to keep doing it. After she is done cleaning she needs to get punished, if time outs work, make it 5 minutes standing with toes and nose touching the wall. This sounds so mean but everyone can stand for 5 minutes, the purpose of toes and nose on the wall: this makes it so there is nothing to look at or watch while in time out. If you see that she is looking around, the 5 minutes start again. The harder you are the less she will take addvantage of you. Good Luck! J.

Hi J.,

My daughter was well over 3 when she finally got consistent with PT. We tried different tactics like sticker rewards, small wrapped presents, etc. I used to get SO frustrated and tried not to push her or show her I was upset, but I wasn't successful all the time.

What worked with her was a Dr appt where I asked the Dr to talk to her about how to use the potty and how proud she was that my daughter was trying. In a couple of days, it was like she decided herself to use the potty all the time and has been great since. She will be 4 in August.

I do agree with other posters that maybe she is not ready quite yet, and want to note that if she was potty trained now, she would probably regress with the arrival of your baby. So as other said, I would not push it and just let your daughter decide. Hugs, best of luck, and congrats on your growing family!

I'm not sure if anyone has responded this way but personally,at that age,she knows how to use the potty and doesn't,she pees on the floor and makes the mess she cleans it up.She'll probably get tired of cleaning it up eventually.Also when I was potty training my daughter I kept coloring books and crayons or markers in there for her to use while going to not think about what she was doing.It really helped.Anyway,good luck!and remember,EVENTUALLY all kids potty train themselves,at least that's what my mom said,and I find it to be true thus far :)

J.,
This is the one area where they have complete control and they know it. The more we push, the more they push back, unless of course they're in the mood to comply. Try rewarding her by letting her have control over something else, like choosing whether to go to the park or to the movies, or choosing to color for 15 minutes or read an extra book before bed. You'll have to figure out where she would like control and use that as her motivation.

Hope it helps and good luck!

Stop! Stop! Stop! Kids are ready when they are ready. Don't push her just because you want her to go to preschool. Just because you want her to be potty trained. She is an individual. She isn't ready. When they are ready, there is really no training involved. It is soooooo easy!!!! I absolutely agree with the pediatrician who said it takes one day to potty train a child - the day the child is ready. Wait 6 months and try again. Stop stressing. Stop thinking about it. Stop driving yourself and your daughter crazy over this. This is a matter where you simply need to step away and wait awhile. Couldn't be easier! And please don't make her feel that she is behind or different - nobody likes to be compared to others. Pointing out that all of her friends are potty trained isn't helpful or considerate. And that kind of thing will bite back in the future. You DO NOT want her to do everything her friends are doing when they are doing it. Mother of four - 26, 23, 21, and 8.

I know how difficult it is to have one on the way and desiring the have the older child out of diapers. As a mother of four with the first three only 3 1/2 yrs apart I can tell you that you can survive more than one in diapers:) And the need to potty train before preschool is overwhelming.

I have found that most children do potty train more easily at 3 but if preschool is a need then you can try another approach as recommended by my Doctor. Now don't laugh... but the approach is to do nothing :). Yes, nothing! Let me explain.

My girls have tended to be the ones to use the potty training as a control issue. My first born wanted to use the potty at 15 months was almost trained by 18 months and then totally regressed due to "her will" right when my second child was born. When she was four we were STILL working on it.

I complained to her doctor that I was trying everything. His response was, "stop trying". And he was right! I stopped responding. I didn't react when she purposefully peed in her pants or on the floor. Wish a pleasant look on my face and little or no emotion I just said, "Okay...we need to clean this up." I just didn't make it a "control" issue and within 1 month she was TOTALLY potty trained.

I have followed the "non-controling" approach with my other ones and it works like a charm. Even with my three year old girl who chose to try and make it a control issue, I metally prepared myself to not battle it and she did wonderfully! this was quite helpful since I had just had my fourth and was not wanting any more control battles!

Hang in there :). It will happen. You don't see any normally functioning teenagers wearing diapers.

(Quick note. Some children physiologically are not ready to stay dry at night. My girls are so small for their age that their small bladders could not make it through the night even if I limited water and woke them up in the middle of the night to go. Most systems will mature by 4 but not all for night time training. I appreciated when my doctor told me this and advised me to save the negative consequences for after 5 when it comes to night training. Positive incentives are also helpful in this area. Example: "If you can stay dry for 7 nights we can rent a video of your choice...or go to the park...etc)". You get the idea.

I hope this helps! God Bess you as the birth of your second baby approaches!

please dont rush her...when she is ready she will do it on her own. with my first child...i waited it out till she was ready and it went great, my second child i did rush and well...she is now in kindergarden and she still has accidents...she would sometimes feel she cant tell me when she has an accident because she thinks i will get mad...i do get frustrated but i see it as my own fault because i use to compare her with her sister...BIG MISTAKE!! now my 3rd child is 3 1/2 years old and i am again waiting till he is ready....because i have a 4th child that barely turned 1 year old and i know he see's her in diapers. the best thing you can do is wait it out and please dont compare her to other children...its not fair for her. it causes insecurities and no child needs that. i honestly dont understand why a preschool wants her to be potty trained...maybe you could look around for a different preschool. as i see it...that school must not understand the developments of a 3 year old if they feel children have to be rushed in order to attend. i live in a very small town and they have 2 preschools and i chose the one best for my child in a sense of the preschool knowing the real situations of a 3 year old.

so please...dont make the same mistake i did and dont rush your child if she is not fully ready

mom of a 6,5,3 and 1 and one on the way

Hi J.,

It sounds like a big power struggle......If it were me, I would just back off, let her wear pull ups, and just occasionally explain the things big girls get to do that little girls don't.

Also, my daughter (along with many, many others), began preschool having many accidents......they are used to this, and shortly after she started preschool (3 yrs old), she used the potty :)......

So, try not to stress.....she will do it!!

I had the same issue with my daughter, She was almost 3 and I was 9 months pregnant. What I did.... stopped trying, we went back to diapers/pull ups and waited until after I had the baby and started again. I'm not talking the day after, more like a couple of weeks (I was readmitted to the Hospital with Post Partum Eclamcia), get on your feet get a system down and start again. You are too emotional and she see it and her eyes she is winning. Take the "I don't care" attitude and make a big deal when she makes the effort and start fresh in July. I wasn't long and it was done, now I'm dealing with her brother who was 3 in February and still not completely trained.

Good Luck

L.

I have a very strong willed stubborn 4 year old (potty trained before 3, on her own accord) who refused at times to be potty trained, and nothing worked but letting it go. I actually started acting like it didn't matter to me whether she was ever trained (even though it was driving me crazy!!!) For her, it is the one thing she can control, and she is using it to her advantage. If she is anything like my daughter, the minute she feels the pressure is off, she will do it. Show her where her potty is, I put a stack of clean underwear in the bathroom, and pretty much let it go. It is truly a power struggle with you and her at this point. The fact that you are having another baby soon is probably giving her pressure to be the big girl, which she is not sure she wants to be yet. In her world, babies get all the attention, and babies were diapers. Hang in there Mom, I know how hard it is!!

J.,
I feel for you. I have been there. The exact situation. I have 7 kids my youngest (boy) is 16 mos. and 2nd youngest (girl)4 now, they are 3 years apart just like your two will be. Anyway when my youngest was born, my then 3 yr. old was doing the same thing as your girl. I can tell you this much some of it is an issue of control. Your 3 yr. old has found something she can control. No one can make her potty train. She is in charge. Does she wear panties already? because if she has the reward of panties there is no incentive there to use the potty to get that as a reward of being the big girl. Simply tell her that when she goes pee pee and poo poo in the potty she will get to wear the panties. Get her the coolest new ones you can find. Say to her that it is ok if she is not ready to go both poo and pee in the potty, but that she can not wear the panties until she does. In the meantime she must wear diapers because she is not ready to be the big girl. Emphasize that it is ok if she is not ready to go both yet that it is normal and when she is ready to do both then she will get the new panties. OK maybe after all this she doesn't care about the panties and says ok to the diapers. Trust me I had to go backwards with my first like this, and within a week that got old and she potty trained both poo and pee and was wearing the panties within a week!!!!
Next, you have a new baby coming. I am sure people have told you all about how the child who is supposed to be potty training will regress if a new baby is coming. That does happen. She is insecure right now about what a new baby might mean for her. She might start potty training when the baby comes, because she will want that attention. This will be tough, however get your husband to help if he is off work for a week or a few days, if you do just be consistent like clock work and shower her with lots of praise. She needs this right now it would be great if your husband cn help you with this you wdill be drained from caring for the new baby.
When kids turn three they are right there as far as getting trained, girls especially. Don't worry about making it happen before the baby. She may regress anyway. Take the pressure off yourself and your daughter. Go the other way. Tell her you think that she is not ready, and that is ok, everyone is different and it is ok, but she needs to wear the diaper until she is ready to do both poo and pee in the potty everytime. Trust me, she WILL eventually potty train and it will be very soon. Potty training is largely a mental game. (Yes, reverse psychology can work) I think that she has found an area of her life that she can control and she senses your weakness right now. Being pregnant is a very hormonal and emotional state, she knows something is going to change and she is testing you in some way. I hope this helps. It is worth a try. Try to enjoy your daughter as much as you can right now. You have to try to pick your battles. Some of them aren't worth fighting right now. Good luck and God Bless you, your husband and your daughter and your new baby.

Good news is Fall is still a ways a way. I am in the same boat with my 3yo son and he starts in 26 days. Lucky for me, they are OK if he still needs some help here and there. Last weekend I read The No Cry Potty Solution and it has helped me this week tremendously. When my son was acting like your daughter a few months ago, I just decided to give it a break. Took about 3 months off and just started back up this week. He has had many accidents but he is also doing pretty well. I'm being VERY patient, no yelling, punishment, etc.. no postive/neg attention when he does have an accident, just a quick and calm change into dry underwear and pants. It sounds like you are doing everything right, if it were me, I would take a month or two off and then give it another shot. I know you are almost due with baby number two, so honestly, you are better off waiting until that baby is about 2-3 months old since your daughter if she potty trained right now might just take some steps backwards after the baby comes. At least that is what my daughter did.
Congrats on number two and best wishes with potty training!
M.

Hi J.,

My twins used to "accidentally" go on the floor, too, while they were potty-training. I'm pretty sure it was just to get my goat, which it did! This probably won't solve the whole problem, but it helped: every time they did that, I would just stay calm and give them a towel and tell them to clean it up, then walk away. (I usually went back and cleaned it more thoroughly when they couldn't see me!)This REALLY cut down on that behavior! It sounds like your daughter is capable of using the potty, but has realized that this is one of your buttons that she likes to push!

Good luck!

Hi J.,
I wish I'd known you sooner!My trick for potty training was this
I'd stay home till we were done,I went to the store without my kids until they were reliable,no playdates, no fun.
I bought a pack of three panties, that they picked out, and ten plain white ones.On the first day put on the cute panties and tell her she needs to stay dry..go through the panties and calmly change her till she runs out of her favorites...calmly tell her she can wear the cute ones tomorrow..so you'll be doing laundry every night for awhile.
Tell her its not okay to pee in her panties.Never go back to pullups or diapers...your in it till she's done.
If she gets it then pees in public, be ready to go back home, asap!
I potty trained all my kids withing two weeks this way.
Good luck!
About me: Mother of four kids 26,24,15 and 9!

Children do things like this for example, as a way of "controlling" their environment. They may be capable or not...but the way they "communicate" is also through actions such as this. It also creates a safety-zone for them... their comfort zone. It's a natural developmental behavior...although sometimes it may not be convenient or acceptable. Regardless, it is a child's way to bring order and control to their world, especially when they are stressed. Children also, can experience "stress" even though we may not think of it.

You seem to have tried many things, that most Moms do. You seem very patient as well. Good for you! 3 years old is also, still, a very fickle age....their emotions are developing and their sense of independence as well as "dependence"....they are "big girls" but are still in a sense "babyish" in maturity...3 years old is pretty much at the cusp of a maturity leap and lots of developmental changes. It's not easy for them either, because at this age, Parental and adult expectations of them, at this age, increases. And afterall, it's "Preschool" age. Another big thing and adjustment.

Your girl has many things to adjust too right now.... potty training, entering into Preschool, and your pregnancy.... and the "idea" and concept of her having a new sibling. Having a new sibling is not tangible to them yet, until the baby is actually here... so until then, they like anyone, will imagine and have adjustment issues.

That being said... perhaps talk with her about it. I know you did that already. Also, try and make her "help" you clean up her pee if she does it on purpose on the floor. They are at the age when they can do simple "chores" around the house... in Preschool they will be doing this as well....in Preschool each child is given a simple responsibility and they call it a "job." Because they are at the age when they can participate like this, and it is good for them to learn responsibility. Then, when her clothes is all wet with pee, have HER put it in the laundry basket etc. Don't "lecture" her about it...but tell her simply that she needs to do it and that it "helps" Mommy. For my girl, she really liked when she could "help" Mommy....it made her feel special and involved.

She may also be balking at potty training because of your pregnancy....it's a lot for a child to handle all at one time. Each child is different in their "coping" skills. Maybe she's doing it because she wants more attention...nothing wrong with that if that is what she needs....maybe this is her way or reaching out for you. Make her a part of you.... and a part of your pregnancy. Maybe she needs to feel closer to you, and "safe" in that she won't be left out etc.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd baby, my girl was just about to enter Preschool too, and she had FINALLY gotten the hang of complete potty training. Just in time. There were a few times she did have accidents....BUT it was usually at times in which she felt stressed or there was a change in her life and in the process of adapting to her "new" life. (as a Preschooler and me being pregnant). I simply explained to the Teacher...and they understood, as they know full well that this can tweak a child's sense of security and well being. My Hubby & I made sure not to "add" to her stress as a child... we never scoleded her or made her feel stupid for having accidents...we talked with her about it, gave her extra attention and love, and spent more time with her... we took pictures of her with my pregnant stomach and made her more a part of everything. We talked to her about her baby brother and how much he will love her too etc. Sure, they are also quite opinionated and stubborn at this age...but they are just children and quite tender hearted...they need a balance... and their acting out like this usually means they are needing something they are not getting.

Well, sorry for rambling on, just sharing my own experience with this that I had with my daughter. Hope it helps and all the best to you,
~Susan

I wouldn't worry too much about the poop thing. But if you know she knows how to go potty and she is just being lazy it sounds like an attention thing. You could try two different things. First when she does just pee just go in there and clean it up don't say anything. Maybe she just wants the reaction. The other thing is make her clean up her own mess. I did with my daughter two times and haven't had the problem since. Good luck

my daughter will be 4 in july and has now been potty trained for a couple months. we went through some similar struggles with her. she knew how to use the potty and did a great job at daycare but wouldnt at home.
i was trying everything i knew. reminding her or just putting her in there. she seemed to go into the bathroom but go in her panties. long story short we stopped making such a big deal of it at home.
i decided one day that we wouldnt use the pullups during the day anymore. they were only "night time training panties" as she named them. we talked about being a big girl and we stayed home for a week or so. she would go in her panties and even went with out any panties at all somedays. my husband even let her put her potty chair in the livingroom. after a couple days we noticed her doing a potty dance and then running to the potty. after a few days the pull ups were gone and she didnt want them at night anymore. she only wanted big girl panties
poop was another story and was in her panties like clock work every afternoon. i had her clean a few panties in the potty and had her throw some away. (poor dora or princess, etc.) that too just clicked one day.
so i say good luck. get rid of the pull ups. i think it is just a power struggle so dont give in. be patient and dont make it seem like a big deal.

J.,

My daughter will be 3 in August and has only urinated in the potty once and that was by accident. She shows almost no interest at all. She likes to pretend but that's it. I'm not concerned and I'm not pushing her. I understand your frustration, since you want her to start preschool soon, but don't forget you've got the whole summer to let her run around in panties, pull-ups etc. When she's ready, she might just potty train herself in a few days. I hope some of the other moms have some good suggestions for you as I know my attitude is a bit lax. Good luck to you.

Hi J. - I can totally sympathize. I went through a very similar situation. My youngest daughter did not want to have anything to do with the potty until she was 3 and then only occasionally. Part of the problem is that the diapers are so effective the kids don't feel a thing. So my suggestion to you is to stop using diapers and pullups. Buy regular training underwear (they are a little thicker, BabiesRUs sells them) with the rubber pants. You will have to do laundry (a lot) but she will feel what it is like be wet, truly. And she will not like it, especially #2. I stayed at home for about 2 weeks and made sure I could clean up the accidents, etc. Folex stain remover is great. I didn't get mad at her when she had accidents and praised her beyond belief for using the potty when she even tried. I also bought some "pretty" underwear for her to use after she was more consistent. The nightime was the only time I let her use a night time pull up. (That took another six months. I waited until she was dry for two weeks straight before I took them off. Her mattress is covered with a waterproof cover.) I also gave her "big prize" of her choice that she got when she reached the "no diaper" goal. Good luck to you!

You would be AMAZED at how well she will do when SHE decides that potty training is what she wants to do. She knows the drill. Just show her where her panties are, tell her that she can wear those when she is ready, but you will use a diaper until that day. Tell her about the preschool thing - if she wants to go, then that will motivate her. Then get a new box of pampers and wait for her to decide. She will decide one of these days and then everything will go like clockwork!

Your daughter is pretty young to be worried about it and since it has become a power struggle, I think you are going to need to back off. Also, my son reacted very badly to being told that his friends were all trained. It made him feel very down on himself and even less inclined to try. He is still afraid to poop on the potty, so we are taking baby steps...at the moment, we make him sit on the toilet to poop in his pull up. And he has to be changed in the bathroom now--no running around in a poopy diaper. I'm hoping this will get him used to pooping while sitting down. I know it would be great to have this taken care of before #2 is born (that was my hope too, back in November), but it is probably not going to happen through an assertion of power. She may come around if you make it seem like she isn't interested. Of course, I am not writing as someone who has actually been successful, but I definitely know the frustration. Having two bottoms to wipe hasn't been as bad as I thought, but I'm hoping to move forward with this soon too.

I really feel for you! How frustrating! I am currently working on potty training my 2 year old (with limited success), but I can share what worked with my 4 year old. She, like your daughter, knew what to do and was more than capable, but just didn't feel like it some of the time. We tried M&Ms and stickers, and she would only go if she wanted some. That approach totally backfired. So, I went and bought a few new outfits with Disney Princesses on them. (Usually my kids get hand-me downs, and she was totally enamored of the princesses). Anyway, I just showed them to her and told her that these clothes could only be worn with underwear. If they got wet or dirty, she had to wear other clothes. (Unless it was an accident, and then I would give her a chance with a different outfit). I washed those outfits almost every day, but she wanted to wear them SO badly, that she was willing to go on the potty to keep them from getting wet. #2 took a little longer, but within a month, she came around.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

This is a control issue, and she will win unless you find a way to make her think it was her idea. First, back off -- don't even say anything about accidents on PURPOSE. Pretend like you don't even care -- you can choose if you want to buy Pull ups or just let her wet herself -- spend time in the back yard if possible.

This is likely to get worse after the baby is born -- just to spite you and she may be trying to stay like a baby for jealousy -- you'll change the baby constantly so why won't you change me -- don't you love me etc.....

As far as pre-school is concerned, its it possible to find another one that potty trains. I was concerned about finding a pre-school when my youngest was 2.5 and ended up finding a good preschool in my neighborhood that deals w/ diapers, pull-ups, wet pants etc. This might take the stress off you and your daughter will likely do fine at potty training when she wants. My youngest was very stubborn about this and wouldn't even use the potty until 3.75. Once she felt like it she was trained like overnight.

Good luck

Aha! I see at the end of your post that you are pregnant due in June... (me too)... this may be the source of your problem! Try buying a video called "potty power"- I am going through the same stuggle with my son only it's only over pooping in the potty. He can do it, he has done it, but he won't do it on any regularity. Luckily he tells me before hand, gets a diaper, lets me put it on him, and then comes to me and tells me "I have a poopy diaper" and we change him. I would suggest to just stop talking about it altogether, don't worry about preschool (having a new baby in the house will be stress enough for your daughter), and just go back to diapers. She'll do it when she wants to. I just remind myself every time I am changing my 3 1/2 yr old's diaper that no child ever went to college in diapers! :) Keep your chin up, being pregnant is probably making your patience thin as well, and being sleep deprived with a newborn won't help either. Just let it go for another 6 months, every child chooses to potty whenever they want to.

My advice is to find a preschool that takes kids in diapers/pull-ups and put her back in them. As a mother of 5, potty training was not one of the battles I fought. She will not be in diapers forever, she's not ready to let go of this part of her life right now for some reason. Please don't fight her on this. She will be fully cooperative when she's ready and doesn't feel pressured and anxious about the situation. Good luck!!
Momma to 28,23,20,15,& 5

J.,

Just let it go for now. All the emotion you and your girl are having is more important to deal with than going to the potty. Forget about how many others you know who are potty trained. It took my daughter a while, and she still wears a pull-up at night and she is 5. Just let her be in more control. She obviously is looking for it with her actions. Just put her in a pull-up and tell her to tell you when she is ready to start trying again. I know its hard. I have been there. Yet when it gets that rough, its time to just chill out about it. She will go one day!
Its all good.
G.

Hi J.,

The worst thing you can do is make a big deal out of it because she'll use it as a power struggle. It sounds like that is happening already. Remember, kids will think any attention, even negative, is better than none. Just put her in diapers or pull-ups and forget about it. Otherwise, she'll manipulate you with it. Walk away if she acts out about it and don't talk to her about needing to train before starting preschool because, if she isn't thrilled about preschool she'll delay even more. I know you would like her to be in school when you have your next one but she may see it as sending her away so you can spend all your time with the new baby. She needs to be on board with the school herself.

V.

First off with a new baby about to come into the picture you might need to lay of potty teaching the first one. She is about to lose her original place in the family for a new place and that is HUGE for a small child! When she is ready she will just do it, she knows how she is just trying to have some of her own control of her own life! And with the new baby coming soon she might feel like she is getting over looked and this gets the attention back to her; which is where is has always been. Give her a "break" and she will start to use that potty on her own as soon as life gets back to some sort of normal. Be patient and all will fall into place at its due time. God bless and good luck with the new addition to the family.

Hello J.,
Your little girl is jealous of the new baby that will come into the house. Talk to her and let her know that she is going to be a big sister and that you will need her help with the baby. Tell your little girl how much you love her and assure her that mommies hearts grow bigger so there is more love to give away for each child. Also buy her a special present for being a big sister that you can give her on the day you bring the baby home from the hospital.
Also talk to her about the hospital and let Daddy or grandparents bring her to the hospital as soon as the baby is born and let her help hold the baby.
When you get home if you have your baby on a feeding schedule, back up to 10 minutes before and sit down and cuddle with the big girl while you read her a story. Then she will not be as jealous over the baby nursing. If you are bottle feeding let her help hold the bottle.
There are to many changes going on right now for potty training to be complete. They usually revert back when the baby comes home. Wait till July when the baby is a month old and start working on potty training again. I have 4 kids, so I have been through this many times. Good luck,D.

Well, she's telling you loud and clear that she's just not emotionally ready to give up her diapers and be potty trained. Sometimes as parents we get too caught up in our own schedules, but this isn't something you can control, and if you continue to try, you could set your child up (and yourself) for all kinds of potty issues (encopresis for one). Just back off, and try again in a few mos. Check some cool DVD's/tapes out from your library made for kids on PT, along with some picture books to read to her. Afterwards, ASK her if she's ready to give up her diapers and wear big girl panties. If she says no, just say okay, and try again in a month or so. Keep in mind she's still SO young, and you cannot measure your daughter on other children, as hard as that is. Don't set yourself up for "keeping up with the Jones". Every child is different, and pediatricians and other experts are realizing it's better to NOT rush potty training. Less children are trained in their late 2's and early 3's now than ever before. Anyway, good luck, and be patient!!