Ivf Results Today

Updated on February 10, 2012
A.M. asks from Jackson, NJ
6 answers

Not for me, but my sister. I'm freaking out though. I want her to be pregnant so bad. And I will feel terrible if she isn't. She will be heartbroken. I have absolutely no problem getting pregnant and did both times on the first try. She has been having a hard time and gets the results today after 1. What do I do if she isn't. I'm planning on leaving the kids with my mother in law and goin to be with her if she isn't. But what do I say? What can I do to comfort her. Of course, I'm hoping she is and then we will be celebrating and going to babies r us!! Lol. But I want to be prepared if not. I am freakin out. I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack. I can't imagine how she feels. Advice?

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

If she's not, just offer to be there for her but also be prepared to give her space if she needs it. And if she has a husband or partner, this may be something that they want to grieve privately. Remember that he will be grieving too - and it is grief. If she has a favorite comfort food that will keep in the fridge for a few says (soup or something), bring that too her and leave it for whenever she is ready to eat something.

My failed IVF cycle was when I was a gestational carrier. This wasn't even my baby and I was devastated and I know that what I felt, the parents felt 100 times more. There is disappointment, loss of a dream, fear that it will never work, thoughts like "why me?" and "maybe we're not meant to be parents" and "I failed (again)" and "it's my fault" and on and on.

In addition to that, she will abruptly stop taking hormones. If you remember being on an emotional roller coaster after your kids were born, she'll be going through the same thing. It took about 10 days for me to feel kind of normal, and those days felt very much like those first post-partum days, when even though I was happy, I was weepy and emotional. Add bad news on to that and you've got the makings of a very emotionally wrecked woman. So if she gets bad news, maybe in a couple of days if she's still feeling hormonal and out of sorts, let her know that that's a normal part of stopping the hormone pills and shots and that she will feel physically normal in a week or so. That was something that the nurses didn't warn me of.

Just be there for her...hopefully you'll be celebrating later though. Fingers crossed for her!

3 moms found this helpful
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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

When I did my rounds that were unsuccessful, I just wanted someone there who would listen, hug and let me know that they were there for me. I didn't want to hear it would happen next time or maybe this is my life plan. I also made sure I planned a feel good endorphin releaser like a massage or foot reflexology as it helps to release some stressors.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't know what her specific circumstances are. I underwent 3 rounds of IVF (one failed and two successful). I was really upset when it didn't work the first time, but I was prepared for that so the let down wasn't as bad as people expected. Sometimes it helps to workout a plan of action. If she's at a clinic with a risk-sharing option where she will get some portion of her payment towards a future round or some kind of refund, then you can talk about being ready to try again in two or so months. But honestly you can also just admit you don't know what to say. You're sorry, you love her, and in whatever way she needs you, you'll be there for her. My best friend was my rock through IVF. She cried with me, got angry with me, and celebrated mightily when i got the BFP. Just having her there while I worked through things was really helpful.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

It's hard to know what to say because it depends so much on the individual personality. My SIL underwent THREE unsuccessful IVF attempts and she is an introverted, private person. Mostly she just wanted to be left alone. I would say listen and try to follow her lead if that is what happens. Tell her you are there for her, but don't say you know how she feels, it will all work out, they can try again, they can adopt, etc. I brought up the adoption possibility too soon (about 1-2 months after 3rd and final failed attempt) and my SIL and brother did NOT take it well. If she is pregnant, great, but I wouldn't rush out to babies r us or anything like that. The first trimester of any pregnancy is risky, but in our experience IVF results can be less than certain. In one of her attempts my SIL's initial testing showed that she WAS pregnant, but her hormone levels weren't really high enough to support the pregnancy and they ended up dropping off even further within days. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from New York on

When I was a child, I struggled with obesity.

When I was a 17 yr old teenager, I met weekly with a well-experienced nutritionist to lose the last of the 5 extra pounds and to begin eating for health.

Each week, as I walked out of her office, a thirty (ish) year old lady would come in for her appointment. I wondered why she was there. She certainly wasn't overweight.

After a few months of working with the nutritionist, I had lost a few pounds...but, I will never forget the day when this lady came in screaming, "I am finally pregnant because of the blood tests & the dietary changes I had to make to acheive this."

This took place many years ago, but, I have never forgotten it.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Just be there to support her either way!! That's all you can do. I sure hope she is..How exciting! Best wishes and prayers and hugs for both of you!

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