Keeping a Girls Room Clean

I would quit cleaning it and make that the responsibility of the girls. Set defined expectations such as, "The room will be cleaned up by xx time on xx days of the week. If not, the consequence is xxx." And stick by the consequence. It teaches them responsibility and orderliness and takes the stress off of you.

Please share with me when you find out!!! I have an 11 year old girl!!! I have the same problem!!!

Make it something they have to do every night before bed, or after dinner and find something that they want that they have to earn by keeping their room clean.

we've gone to, you may not have books at bedtime (read to them or by themselves) until your room is clean (I have a 5 and 7 yr old). As this is the highlight of their day - their rooms have been kept much cleaner. and, since they're picking up at the end of every day, it never gets comletely out of hand. Amazing how much faster, with less grumbling, it gets done so as not to eat into their book time too much.

HERE IS THE THING --- YOU ARE TOO BUSY WITH THE NEW BABY TO BE CLEANING UP AFTER EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE !!
ARE YOU A FAMILY OR A CLEANING LADY?? WHAT IS LEFT MESSY YOU TAKE AWAY AND THAT MEANS IF IT IS THEIR HOMEWORK ,COAT, BACKPACK, IT GOES.... IT IS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM.

LET THEM KNOW HOW YOU WOULD REALLY LOVE THE EXTRA HELP AND THEN IF AT THE END OF THE WEEK THEY KEEP UP ON THEIR CHORES THEY CAN HAVE SOME GIRL TIME WITH YOU TO (BAKE--CRAFT-- ) AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF IT IF THEY DON'T DO THE CHORE THEN YOU PUT THE ITEMS LEFT OUT IN THE GARBAGE BAG. IF THEY IMPROVE AFTER A WEEK THEY MAY HAVE THEIR THINGS BACK AND IF THEY DON'T THEY CAN DONATE IT TO THE SHELTER..
i am a mom of 4 (14,g,10,g,7,b,4,b,) everyone pitches on!! i mean everyone. 4year old takes piles of laundry to each room and dumps baby trash cans into kitchen trash can. he also has to pick up his own messes. 7 year old fixes bed, empty's dishwasher, etc. iam sure you get the idea . it is a little weight lifted off your shoulders. my 14 year old helps do leaundry ,cookes dinner ,sweeps mops , give baths and not to mention the occasional babysitting, ........ 10 year old is striving to do as much as the 14 year old but still needs some guidance. these are all the skills that we need to live on our own . and i strongly believe that it wont hurt them. sorry so long....
take care and god bless

I have a 2 and 3 year old who also share a room. At first, I made a game out of cleaning - to show them how. Now, they are completely cleaning their rooms on their own!!! They know that is is expected of them. They have a rule - they both know it and say it - one toy out, one toy up. If that means every single barbie (along with every single TINY barbie clothes), then so be it. But they canppt get out anything else, unless they clean up barbies first. I have had times when they did not clean after i asked them - so i bagged their toys up, and put them in a trashbag. After a few days of them claening everything else, they got their toys back. It's all about consistency. Your girls are old enough to clean their own room and to have consequences if they do not. You have your hands full with a new baby - give them responsibility and they will find that it is fun to clean up.

K.,

When I had the same problem and had told my kids repeatedly to clean their rooms to no avail, I finally said, "This is your last chance. When I come back the next time, if this room isn't clean, I will bring a trash bag and anything that is not put away will be put in the trash bag and given to a child who will appreciate it." I came back with the bag and through tears and begging, pput everything in the bag and took it away. It was very difficult, but I could not give in. I hid the bag where they could not find it. I explained that when I asked for something (like cleaning their room) to be done, I expected it to be done. About a week later, I had a calm conversation with them and we discussed responsibility and expectations. When I was certain they understood the consequences, I said that I would bring back their clothes and toys and that they had to put everything away. I also said that if this ever happened again, I would not bring their things back. After that, I never had to ask twice for them to do anything because if they resisted, I would just grab a trash bag! Good luck!
E.

I can commiserate with you. I have one 10 year old girl and her room always looks like the aftermath of a hurricane. Clothes everywhere, toys everywhere, paper everywhere ... good grief is right!

The only thing I can suggest is that you stop cleaning for them. When it is time for them to clean, go in and direct them to break it down to where they can manage it and to keep them on task. Try to make it a nighttime habit to pick up. When you just **have** to go in and clean it, instead of putting toys etc away, take them away. My daughter had a whole bunch of Barbies that were in a big mess ... she doesn't have them anymore. (They're at grandmas waiting for her to get that privlege back).

Thinking back, I was none too neat as a kid either. I think it's partly just being a girl, and a kid. So decide how much must be done and wht you can live with.

I just implemented a time out routine where if I have cleaned my girls room (which I HATE!!!!) My girls who are 7 and 5 get one minute of time out for everything I find on the floor or out of place. ie: 2 shirts on the floor = 2 minutes of time out. 10 toys on the floor = 10 min of time out. I am not sure how it is going to work but we have got to try something. I know that I am starting too late with being diligent about keeping their room clean.

Good luck and if you find something that works PLEASE share with the rest of us!!

A.

They are old enough that they can clean their own rooms. I have 3 girls in one room--13,5,4--and they do it all themselves. If it is messy, I just comment and close the door if I have to. I only get laundry from their room if it is in their laundry basket. So if something isn't there, it doesn't get washed. This aspect works better for the 13 yr old because she has her favorite pants, shirt etc and always wants them washed. Then like the other post said, take away something that they like to do until their room is clean. Make it their responsiblity, not yours, to keep it clean.

I like a proactive approach with kids, cleaning in particular. I've been using The House Fairy (www.flylady.com or www.housefairy.org)with good success. My biggest thing to remember (personally) is to expect them to act their age (mess happens) and be sure there is a spot to put everything and that they know the spot and can reach it. I, too, am fairly new to the SAHM job (4 years) and it has been a steep learning curve! Good luck with the girls!

They are old enough to do it themselves!! My daughter is only 3 and she knows that she has to clean her room everyday before she can play or watch TV. She makes her bed, puts her toys and books away, puts dirty clothes in her hamper, and even puts her clean clothes away. I also bought her a little vacuum from Walmart. It is a small hand vac, that has a little floor attachment. It is just her size. It was only $10. She loves it and vacuums every day, sometimes she even does the hall and her little brothers room. 6 and 7 year olds should definitely be doing their own rooms. You are not doing them any favors by cleaning it yourself. They need to learn how to keep a home clean before they grow up and move out. My mom never taught me to clean, so once I was an adult, I really struggled to figure it out.

Are you a maid or a mom? A maid cleans. A mom teaches her kids how to keep their room clean so they do it themselves. I know, you're a mom, so get to it!!! So here are a couple thoughts:
1. Don't clean their room!
2. Give them consequences for having a clean room. Remember, its the expectation that the house remains picked up; and the reward is they get to keep everything! (for us, she can't have friends over unless her room is picked up. Friends come to visit us, not our messes)
3. Get rid of some of the 'stuff'. The more stuff they have, the more they can throw around.
4. For the rest, get a small set or drawers that will fit in the closet to make it easy to put things away. If it doesn't fit, its probably too much stuff.

Once all the above is done and it still gets trashed the its time to get a little harsher...empty the room of everything except their beds. Make 'em earn every piece back. And only as long as they can properly care for their things.

GL!!!

I had the same problem. Last month my husband and I got creative and we mucked out there rooms completely. We took everything out except for one toy (such as the Barbies or the Littlest Pet Shops); they got to choose the toy they kept. We put all of their other toys somewhere that they couldn't get to them. All of the toys are organized in their own containers and we literally took everything out, even the stuffed animals and all of their little "treasures". They can still play with their other toys, but they have to completely clean-up the toy they have now and trade it in. It has worked wonders and my girls have actually like it because now they can keep their rooms clean without too much difficulty.

hi.. when my kids were that age and i wanted them to start helping to keep things picked up, one of the things we did was every night before bed i played a cd that had some really cute kids songs on it. i just picked a one song each night and we hurried as fast as we could to get the room picked up and things where they belonged before the song ended. what they didn't get done in one song i finished up. maybe if they are spending alot of time in there and making a really big mess you could do it once in the afternoon and again at night. everyone is different and maybe they won't go for this little game..but sometimes anything is worth a try. good luck! :)

Pretty simple,donate the stuff. Give them a time line, help them out a few times at first to teach them how to sort and organize. Then, say: you have until 6 pm to pick up your room. Don't worry, if you don't I will get it later. I just can't wait to see what I will earn when I take the stuff to the consignment shop!

Hi K.-
I strongly urge you to teach your kids to clean their own room. My girls are 16 and 18, and their rooms are ALWAYS trashed, along with my kitchen,the TV room and their bathroom. They leave a trail of mess, every where they go.

One of my biggest regrets in raising them is that I didn't teach them to clean up after themselves, and now it is a constant cause of strife in our home. CONSTANT. I've become the nagging mother that I never wanted to be. In reality, if I'd done a bit more "nagging" when they were little, I wouldn't have to be one now. (Consistancy - often mistaken for nagging. Hmmmmm....)

I strongly believe that you teach people how to treat you, and I have taught my children to treat me like a Maid. You still have time to avoid this mistake. Don't blow it, like I did.

Don't get me wrong... I have a wonderful relationship with my girls. They're terrific young women, and we get along great. But THIS is a big issue for us, and it didn't need to be, if I'd just done a better job being consistant.

Good Luck,
M.

I don't understand why you have to clean their room? They are old enough and need the responsibility to put their stuff away when they are done, period. Not your job.
I tell both of my kids who are 4 and 7, you get it out, you put it away.

One thing I did in our office and playroom was make a place for everything, with plastic tubs, organizers, plastic toy drawers you name it. When I put the stuff in it, I labeled it, then there is no question where something goes back to. Barbies go in one tub, Legos in another plastic tub, train set same thing, books on a book shelf and so on. I made it very organized and purged anything broken and donated anything they haven't played with in a year. They even helped me do that part. First reduce clutter, second get plastic tubs or whatever you need to give everything a home, thirdly label it. Then the rest is up to them.

If they do not clean up their mess, I do, if I have to I go in with a garbage bag and whatever goes in there gets put up for 48 hours. No issue.
If you have them help you organize, then show them where Barbies, books and so on go, then there shouldn't be any problem with them putting it away. It is not your job to clean up what they got out! :) Save your sanity, give it to them as a chore and like I tell my kids, we are a family, in order to be part of a family you have to pitch in, I clean up my messes, you clean up your messes! :) Good luck

HI K.,
You've received some good advice so far. I too was going to suggest the House Fairy program (although I haven't tried it yet!). FlyLady is the adult version for decluttering and home care, but has some helpful hints on working with kids too (www.flylady.org).

I have a 7 yr old son, 3.5 yr old daughter and 18 mos son. I've found having a checklist of sorts helps my oldest... what's expected for his morning and evening (dressed, teeth/face, put away dirty clothes, tidy up toys). Have the girls work on that with you. A "home" for everything, reduce the amount of toys/books in the room (have them keep what they "love" and give away or set aside for a sibling things they don't), and consequences for when they don't pick up (loss of privilege/removing things from their room that aren't put away!).

I know it's tempting to tidy up yourself instead of having them do it... I HATE walking past a messy room! But we're doing them a favor by having them be responsible for their room and accept any consequences when they don't keep it clean. Start with babysteps... kids need to be taught how to do it, and it's easy to get overwhelmed when we tell them to "clean your room"... what does that mean? :) Break it down into steps (like the checklist idea?).

Good luck!
M. E

I have read a number of the responses, and the one that works great for me, (because my kids really learn their lesson) is when I say "Feel free to keep anything you pick up in your room, I'll be in in 20 minutes to take care of the rest." My little 7 year-old threw a huge fit when I came in with a garbage sack and picked up everything he had left, but he doesn't do it anymore and I brought back his clothes after a good amount of time without him knowing. He knows I'm serious, and that it is his responsibility. I don't have to worry about his room, I just say the same thing, "Feel free to keep anything you pick up in your room today." I don't get mad, he knows what will happen and I have no more stress about his room. Plus he has a sense of pride and that he is needed in our home because he as something to contribute to the family and the household. I have loved using this method (Love and Logic)
Good Luck!
N.

Make them clean it each night! Once they get tired of that they will work harder to keep it picked up!

K., I didn't have time to read all ofyour other responses, but one thing that definitely worked when I was this age: I shared a room with my sister who is 2 years older than I, and my mom was always on our backs to clean the room. One day she got fed up and came in with a big box (after fair warning - at least once!) and started putting our toys in the box that were on the floor. We had to earn the toys back with keeping our room clean, doing extra chores, stuff like that. I don't think we ever let our room get that messy again! Good luck . . .

sorry if this is a repeat ... I wonder if it might make it easier for them to keep on top of it if you go through everything with them and take the unnecessary stuff out of there?

for example, store their summer clothes in the basement so they don't have to whip out 10 tee shirts to find a long sleeve shirt. you could try whittling toys and clothes down to the bare bones, and then slowly adding things back in as they figure out how to keep organized.

sometimes cleaning up is so overwhelming they just might not know where to start. They'll likely need your presence and assistance while they learn how to keep it neat. My kids are very organized now, but it took a lot of family clean up times for them to acquire the skill set and develop the discerning eye that tells them what is out of place and where it belongs instead.

Part of the problem may be that you are the one cleaning up. Make them do it or else how will they learn? Love and Logic would tell you to say something like, "Any toys that are not put away by (pick a time) must not be important to you and so they will be taken away." Then you take the toys away that are left out and they have to earn them back, if they want, by doing chores or something. Just an idea. I do think you need to put the burden on them. Make it easier/better for them to be clean than messy.

My son is 4 almost 5 and his room was a disaster, until I made it his chore. Now every night before bed he has to pick up his toys, make sure that the dirty clothes are in the hamper, and every morning he has to make his bed. He gets 5 cents a day for picking up his toys and 5 cents a day for making his bed. That is one less room in my house that I have to worry about, and he stays pretty much on top of it. The only time it gets bad is if we are busy in the evening, or if he is sick.

I think you need to change your expectations of what the girls do. They are old enough to clean up after playing with their toys, so you'll need to start having them clean up one thing before taking out the next. THey should also be able to put clothes in a hamper or in a drawer.

Each night, do a "ten minute tidy" in which everyone pitches in and cleans up together. If they really resist this change, you may need to take most of the toys out of the room and leave just one bin with select toys until they get the hang of it. Habits are hard to break! So you will need to be consistent about expecting it clean every day. But they are definitely old enough where you should be able to say "Please go pick up your toys and clean the floor" or whatever - and they should be able to do that.

You may want to use some kind of consequences or reward system too. For example, do they want to watch tv at all? or play with friends or have a treat? Nicely tell them they can certainly have or do whatever that is, as soon as the room is cleaned up. I have to do this sort of thing with one of our daughters. IF the room isn't clean, then they simply don't get X or Y. THat kind of consequence should work very well.

Good luck!!

Hi K.,
I feel your pain! I have 3 and this has been a struggle for me as well. We had to move recently and put much of our "stuff" in storage. I noticed the kids were happy with their favorite toys( the boys Lego's and my girl her favorite dolls and some dress up), so when we moved back to our home I got rid of about 50% of their thing's, they have not noticed at all! And the benefit is their room's are staying much cleaner! This is a great time to do this, many toy drive's are happening with the Holiday's. I can imagine with a big family like your's there is alot of "stuff" to manage and just simply having less help's alot! By the way, the Fly Lady has some good book's and a websight too, she has good tips on managing the household. DO THIS WITHOUT THEM WHILE THEY ARE AT SCHOOL! They won't be able to let "thing's" go! And yes, teach them to do it themselves, give every theme a home, like dress up, stuffed animals etc. Good luck!

2 things are working for me. only 2. lol. j/k but it feels like that some days...anyway, I saw a couple of other people put down the house fairy, but I LOVE her! My sister put me on to her. We have been doing this and it is fantastic. I bought the program and we have started to implement it. I bring in the santa's sister in Jan. since it will be right after Christmas and Santa on everyone's mind and all the new stuff from Christmas--
the other thing is to ask where does this toy live. I asked myself first and am now having my 3 year old help with that. at her age I have to make a home for her toys first then help her know where that home is. I had been doing this with my own stuff (still a process sigh) but we have been doing this with her toys and it is making a huge difference. We do a tidy up before nap and before bed where she is helping and doing more and more of the pick up herself.

My dad grew up in a family of 16 kids and his mom would tell them if things weren't where they belonged they would disappear, they then had one week to earn it back by doing extra chores and if they didn't earn it in that week it was donated to charity. their home was always clean (he says...lol)

there were 13 of us and we never had any kind of consistent programs or consiquences and our rooms were always aweful--as a mom now I feel bad for my mother, doing it with my own kids is hard!

we host kids from other countries and I have them be part of the family with the teenagers I have printed up their daily chores on a paper and put it in a sheet protector it hangs in the hall with a dry erase marker. They have to do their chores daily and check it off. I'm in the process of making one with pictures for my 3 year old that we will start using in Jan.

good luck--

I love the housefairy though because she uses reward incentives instead of punishment--it's amazing how much better we all respond to that...

boy do i feel your pain, but my kids are only 1,2, and 4. i make them DO IT THEMSELVES! we're moms, which means we have way too much to do and not enough hours in the day. your 6 and 7 year old are old enough to pick up after themselves. why not? most of us had to keep our rooms clean and regular chores to boot at that age and we didn't turn out so bad. and we set a routine in our home, which involves all the kids, even the one year old helping out. little chores, like putting a piece of trash in the can, or taking their toys to their room, putting dirty clothes in the basket. but it really promotes team work and encourages them to keep their living environment clean. which helps mom and dad relax a little easier and therefore the kids are relaxed. same routine everyday, using one day each weekend for more thorough cleaning. good luck

Have you tried www.thehousefairy.org, it is a great resource and I don't have to be "the bad guy" any more. My 4 year old tonight cleaned up the toys that had been strewn across the floor today because "the House Fairy might visit."

try www.housefairy.org I have tried to make up my own program based on hers, but I am not consistent enough. But your girls are the perfect age. I think even if you subscribe to the house fairy kit it is fairly inexpensive. It's worth a try.

Good Luck.

They are old enough to keep their own room clean. If they see how much work it is to clean it they probably wont make such a big mess. If they are not used to cleaning, they will probably complain a bunch but I dont think it's your job to clean up after them at that age. good luck

K.,
we have had this discussion several times, and I keep reposting my experience,
hope it will help you somehow.
Also, there are links to those conversations,
the latest one for example has 66 responses:

http://www.mamasource.com/request/5887570798692007937

there should be something that will work for you and your girls.
I copypasted here part of my response,
and wish you to have many happy days:
it is such a time of JOY when they are growing (too fast, I'd say,
my 'lil' one is already 18...)

I can only share my experience, which worked fine with my boys.
maybe, some ideas will help you, but number one, as it seems to me, is that the WAR needs to be dismissed, and a way of COOPERATION to be found, because even if you win this time the war, there will be more battles that you possibly both wish to avoid. So, why not to come to the one side of the barricades, and seek for ways to make PEACE. Then, on the common ground, to find ways for mutual happiness.
He is a smart boy, and he can figure out what is good and of use, you only need to find the motivation, and he will come along. It will be a hard work now, and will need a lot of wise loving monitoring from parents, but the time is not LOST yet, not yet, so, I wish you all the very best success,
and here is what i have to share with you, Katy:

As a writer, allow me to share with you one story which is very relevant to the topic:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/niravameen/2874114301/in/set...
this story I wrote and posted under my elder son's portrait, is absolutely true, no fiction added.
[I have more stories under photos on that site - I do some photography, as you can see :)].

As a mom of two happy young men (25) and (23) now, here are some comments on such issues, including mine under the M. name... hope, something will ring the bell for your situation,
I wish you all the very best:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/12752255403270602753

Why is it your job to clean their room? I think the only way to keep them from trashing it is if they have to clean it themselves and be responsible for it. Clean it one day and then tell them "feel free to pick up the clothes that you would like to keep." Then after you have given them some time to clean go through and take away all the things on the floor. They can "earn" back their stuff by doing chores. The most important part is for you to be matter of fact and not emotional about it. The good day will come when they leave a favorite blanket or toy and then have to go without it for a day or two. They can learn really quick but can you be strong enough to teach them?
look up love and logic...it helped us.
A.