My Son Is Now 3 and I Want to Get Him Away from His Pacifier

Hi E.! Pacifier can be such a life saver but when it comes time to ween them away from them it becomes such a chore! My daughter, now 7, was very attached to hers as well. At first I tried snipping the ends, but she would then walk around holding it in her mouth with her hand. What finally worked was that I soaked her pacifiers in vinegar and when she wanted it and began sucking the taste was horrible and she had never used them since.

Good Luck!

I have heard of offering to pay children for their pacifiers. Maybe 25 or 50 cents, even a dollar everytime they giveitup. I have a friend who had a little girl who was at least 3 and this was the only thing that worked. I know there are lots of things you can try, but maybe this one will work for you!!:) Good Luck!

Hello! I know that there is no wrong way and right way when it comes to parenting, and that everyone has reasons for there choices as parents. I'll tell you what though, my friends are always asking me how my kids are as independent as they are. I have a 2 and a 4 year old, 15 months apart. I am able to do all kinds of things with them, always have. They're extremely well behaved out in public, and they aren't in need of constant entertainment at home. Well, I truly think their independence partly comes from the fact that I took their pacifiers away at 6 months, so that they could learn to fall asleep on their own. I have read a ton of books and have learned that children easily latch on to things as a security bond, such as blankets and pacifiers, and bottles. These things can lower their self esteem in the long run because they make them dependent on having them around in order for them to feel secure. So, paci went bye bye at 6 months, since they were so young, they didn't even miss it. Bottle, bye bye the day after their first birthday. I decided to do this when I saw a friend of mine's two year old throw a tantrum and my friend quickly rummaged through the diaper bag to find a bottle. When she put the bottle in her mouth, the kid immediately calmed down. Well, I thought, "how is that child going to learn how to naturally calm herself down?" Now, she's 4 and is a terror for my friend, throwing tantrums, talking back, and I seriously think that it is because for the first almost 3 years of her life, she had the bottle and the pacifier to calm her down. We are the only things these kids have to learn the basics of life from. They develop their personalities by the time their 6 years old. Sure they change throughout their lives, but as far as the basics go, it's 6 years old. Well, if half of that time is spent having material things available to them as a means to calm them down, then they basically have to relearn this process once the parents decide they need to take it away.

Like I said, I know that everyone parents differently, and I am not saying anyone is wrong. I'm also definitely not saying that the way I've done things is the right way, I just wanted to throw this way of thinking out there to show maybe a side to the issue that may appeal to some other mothers. I know that it has worked absolutely beautifully for me. My kids don't have to have certain things at bedtime, they have bedtimes and naptimes where they lay right down and go to sleep. I put them in regular beds at 16 months so they wouldn't even really realize they all of a sudden they weren't in the cribs anymore. I know they see their surroundings are different, but the younger they are when we make these huge changes in their lives, the more adaptable and better off they are in the long run. Just something I wanted to share and see if it helped at all in the future for anyone else out there too.

Dr Sears is a great man and I look to him for lots of advice. I copied and pasted this from www.askdrsears.com

Good luck!

3 BYE-BYE BINKY TACTICS
Pacifiers are just that � "peacemakers" � which children return to as an attachment object. Some infants and young children have an intense need to suck for comfort, which lasts well into their preschool years. Seeing a plug in a three-year-old's mouth actually bothers adults more than children. This does not imply a psychological problem or a need unfulfilled by parents. On the contrary, the ability to use objects to self-comfort is a sign of psychological health. The only problem with pacifiers at three years of age is the likelihood of exerting pressure on the upper front teeth, resulting in an overbite. If your child does not use a pacifier long enough and suck hard enough to be causing mal-alignment of the teeth, then there is no need to break this habit. If it is beginning to bother her teeth, here's how to wave bye-bye to her "binky."

1. Use the distract and substitute technique. As soon as she reaches for her comforter, distract her ("Let's play�") and substitute an alternative activity.

2. Here's a binky-breaking trick I have oftentimes advised in my pediatric practice. I call this the trade-in technique. Take your child to the toystore and let her pick out a toy to "trade" for the pacifier. Experienced toystore clerks are used to this trading game. By making the pacifier less convenient to use, distracting her, and substituting a treasured toy, you should be able to close the pacifier chapter of normal childhood.

3. Lose it. Make his plug less convenient to find. When he starts to look for it, engage him in such a fun activity that he forgets his rubber friend. Then, arrange for the pacifier to be permanently "lost," meanwhile substituting other touches of comfort, such as lots of snuggling, and a few cuddly toys.

Hello.....I have a suggestion that worked for us when our daughter was 3 and we wanted to get rid of the pacifier. She named hers "mena"...where that came from we have no clue, but anyway. Since she was old enough to understand things better at 3 than when she was younger to just take it away with no easy explanation......we told her that the new babies at the hospital needed them. We bagged them up in a little gift bag. Took them to the local hospital that delivers babies (in our area, there is one hospital for labor and delivery)...found a willing nurse to take the pacifiers and give them to the new babies. From that day on, she understood that pacifiers were for babies and she wasnt a baby.

I wish you luck, she is almost 5, and I know there is a child in her class that still uses one (not at school, but I saw the child about to go in the building with it in her mouth)

Thanks!
T.

Hi E.. My name is Teresa and I have a son who is turning 4 in October and we just got rid of his "poppy". We started out over a year ago limiting it to naptime and bedtime. We were going to get rid of it before 3 but his new baby brother was born and he had one, then we moved halfway across country and moved into new house. I just didn't want to rock the boat. Anyway our doctor suggested sewing his pacifier onto a teddy bear or blanket and do that for a couple of months and then get rid of the pacifier. That way he would have some sort of attachment. We never thought he would get rid of his and we were going to do it after 4th bday when 2 weeks ago he decided to cut them up. He offered him a sword(toy) and he did it. After two weeks we then let him pick something else out. Hope this helps. I will say we went thru tears and screaming and cajoling when I said "poppy is naptime, bedtime only." But I stuck to that and it worked. Maybe you could wean him that way.

I have 2 children. The first I took the pacifier at 3 months, & she never missed it. I swore I'd do the same with the 2nd because that worked so well. Right.
Every child is different. My son was so attached to his pacifier that we were past 3, and he still had it. I systematically cut increasingly larger holes in the pacifiers which made them not as desireable. I started with a pin hole & each day added more. I didn't do all of them at once because we needed one in reserve. In short, in less than a week, he was off the pacifiers. And then, he discovered his thumb. So now, he's nearly 4, no pacifiers (which I limited the times that he used anyway), but he has constant access to his thumb.

This might not be constructive advice for you, but in our household, if my son told me to go to Target and buy a new one, I would firmly tell him not to be disrespectful and if he wants a new one, he can buy it with his own money. At three he would complain he doesn't have any and I would respond that he will one day and can wait til then.

We slowly started "losing" pacifiers when our son was about 16 months, and by the time he was 20 months (at christmas) he gave his last one to Baby Jesus himself.

Hit the "big boy" thing really hard for about two weeks, then force the issue if you have to. Don't let him make having a pacifier an option if you don't want him to have one. You can help the process along by cutting the end off the pacifier.

my friend poked a small hole in it with a needle so that it would deflate. they don't like sucking on them then.

I have B&G twins. When they were 3 I had them limited for nap and bed only. I told them about the "Pacy Fairy". Said she was the Tooth Fairy's sister and that if you put your pacy under your pillow she would leave you something. Well they had 2 each, so they got .50 for the first ones they put under. And then they didn't want to let go of their last one. So at Christmas I put a note in their stockings from "Santa". Telling them that if they wanted big boy and girl toys next year, they would have to give all their pacy's to the Pacy Fairy. It took a couple of months and THEY DID IT!

My five never took a paci but three suck their thumb, try getting rid of that!! As with anything transition, ie bottle, big boy bed and so on.. it's all or nothing. Going back after the crying, tantrum or anything else only confuses the child and he comes to a realization that you will give in. Consistency is key, I know how hard it is to hear the crying, screaming or all out sadness at the end but you have to stay strong. I wish you the best of luck in this tough time but you can do it, you're the MOMMY not him!!!

Take it completely away go thru your house and find all the ones that he has hid and cut the ends off and throw them in the trash even show him what your doing it will be rough for a bit but it will get better
Good luck
M.

so... I think we have been in the _SAME_ boat... my son LOVED his “passy” and it was in his mouth awake or asleep. We took it away and he walked up with another one in his mouth, he had ALL the good hiding spaces!!!

Eventually, still at 3, we talked him into giving it to the baby cow that needed it more than he did. It was a huge family production, we drove down to my grandparents and we all walked over to the cow pasture and he ceremoniously threw the “passy” over the fence and fed the cows. That was the last of the pacifiers for us. Maybe something similar will work for you!!

If that doesn’t work, keep faith – I promise he won’t go to college with a passy in his mouth!

I liked what Tammy said about giving it to babies. I saw on a movie once to do the tooth fairy thing but with a binky (or whatever he calls it) fairy. Have him put it in a little gift bag and hang it in a tree in your yard. Tell him that now that he is a big boy, he should give his binky to a baby in heaven that needs it and an angel will come and take the binky to a baby in heaven and bring him something for a big boy. In the morning have him go outside and see what the angel brought him. (You choose whatever you think he might like as his new big boy thing). Just a suggestion. Don't know if it will work or not but it did in the movie.
Good Luck,
S.

Hi -

My son is now five. He was three when he had his last paci. I wanted him to be over it before our daughter was born, so we worked with him as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

We weaned him first by only letting him have his paci at night. Most times he would fall asleep with it in his mouth, but then it would fall out, so I would just move it to the side. In the morning he would see that it was there. However, one morning it was not. When he asked where it was we said that the Pacifier Fairy came and got it. That since he was such a big boy and no longer in need of it, she wanted to be able to give it to another little boy who needed it. He never asked for his paci after that.

I don't know if this same thing is going to work with our daughter, though, when the time comes. But it's something to try!

C.

GOOD LUCK. With my child, at around three, I limited his pacifier time to only in his bed in his room. So if he had a pacifier, I would remind him, only pacifiers in your room. For awhile, he would retreat to his room to suck it and then return to playing. Slowly, a month or so, he only used it at nap and at night and then like many others wrote, the pacifier fairy came and left him a "big boy toy" He was fine ever since.

Cutting little pieces off works! Took about a week! I did it! My daughter is ten now but I swear by it! Gotta do it to all of them soon there is nothing to hang onto and they lose intrest. S.

When my daughter was 2 1/2 I told her we had to get rid of the pacifier or her teeth would start growing funny. I told her I would take her to Wal-Mart and she could pick out any toy she wanted (within reason), and trade her pacifier in for the new toy. I made very clear that once she had chosen a toy, it would replace her passy forever, so she better be sure it was something she really wanted. Boy did it work! She picked a baby doll and only asked for the pacifier once afterwards. When I reminded her that she had traded it in for "Baby Isabelle", she looked thoughtful for a minuter, then said "Okay." And she never asked again.

I totally agree with the mom who quoted Dr. Sears.....if it works for the child and isn't harming him or anyone else, who cares?....binkys are one of the first tools infants and toddlers utilize as a way to reduce their stressors....most moms want to get rid of the binky to "keep up with the Jones'"...Is it really your son's health that you are truly concerned about or the comments/thoughts of family and friends? It's really the only coping mechanism toddlers have at this small age. If you are embarrassed by his binky, only let him have it during sleep.

As Whitney C. mentioned @ the end of her response...cut of the nipple part. My daughter, thankfully, (but @ times, not so thankfully) absolutely refused the pacifier. But I've heard that cutting it off & then leaving the plastic part where he can find it works. Of course, every child is different. A friend of mine put her daughters' pacifiers in the kitty litter box. They new that was off limits, icky & gross, so they obviously didn't want them after that! Hope you find a solution soon! :>

I agree w/ Pamela and Kimberly - it's a soothing mechanism for him; it's likely one of the few he can rely on outside of your arms or your husbands. Talk to your ped. about any health risks. Work on this slow. Read Dr. Sears info! It's something he's grown attatched too because it was introduced to him by the very person who wants to take it away, that will be confusing to him! Good luck to you both.

I have also dealt with the paci problem. With my oldest (now 6) I started around 3 only letting her have it at nap time and at bed time. She slowly stopped using it and close to her 4th birthday she gave it up. With my second I tried all of those tricks but they weren't working. Sounds like your guy. Unfortunatley we had to go cold turkey on her. It was really hard. She told me she didn't want to be a big girl and she cried and cried. It took about a week to really get her weaned but now she is paci free. I ask her about it and if she wants them back and she tells me no. She's a big girl. I have another girl using a paci and I am sure I will have another experience with that one. Hope this helps. The reality is, your son isn't going to be happy but if he doesn't give it up his teeth will start to be affected. Hang in there.

Hello E., my daughter was the same way...nothing seemed to work. What I did was I told her that "binky's" go bad for older kids after awhile and they taste BAD. I dipped her pacifier in Cod Liver Oil....as a kid my mother would feed it to me by the teaspoon full :( but it worked for Katie. She put it in her mouth and gagged (a little hard for me to watch) but after that wanted NO PART OF IT! You can get Cod liver Oil at any pharmacy....comes in tablets and just prick one with needle and squeeze on the pacifier. Wipe off the extra before you give it to your son....too much might be gross!
I hope this works for you...GOOD LUCK!

OUR PEDIATRICIAN SAID THE BEST WAY IS TO SIMPLY THROW IT AWAY AND EVENTUALLY A CHILD WILL FORGET ABOUT IT. NONE OF MY KIDS REALLY USED A BINKY.....MY YOUNGEST DID WHEN SHE WAS IN NICU WHEN SHE WAS BORN, BUT ONLY FOR A FEW DAYS BC THEY GAVE IT TO HER. BUT I DO REMEMBER BY BEST FRIEND TRYING TO GET HER DAUGHTER TO STOP RELYING ON A BINKY....SHE TRIED EVERYTHING....AND EVENTUALLY SHE GOT RID OF EVERY BINKY IN THE HOUSE AND HER DAUGHTER FORGOT ABOUT IT.....SORRY TO SAY IT WAS ABOUT 2 WEEKS ....WITH SOME FUSSY NAPTIMES...BUT WELL WORTH IT...TO HER ANYWAY. PLEASE DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD.DO NOT LET SOCIETY TELL YOU WHEN KIDS NEED TO BE AT CERTAIN STAGES...