Very Attached 6Mo. Old

Hi,

Have you tried a sling? This way you can get things done but she can also be close to you.

E. P.

Make sure you don't hold her all day long when you are at home. You need to help her create that more "independent" play .. IE Exersauser, play pen, use the Comcast on Demand to play a Barney show, etc. The more you expose her to people the better she will be. It sounds like she has a bit of stranger anxiety. Although it breaks your heart you need to know that she will be okay -- poor little thing! Take her to a park, like I said just keep exposing her to new things with people! Good Luck.

I went through that with my daughter at that age. She would freak if some people even looked at her. It was so frustrating because I couldnt even put her down to fold the laundry, etc.

Its a phase. It will pass. Some take longer than others (my daughter still goes through it occasionally and she is 15 mos but by 8 mos she was ok with most ppl).

I just tried to include her in evrything - that way she was "helping" me fold the laundry and would be ok at first sitting in my lap, then it was sitting next to me, then across the table, etc.

Hi T.-

My 8 month old started the same thing at around 6 mos and we are just now getting the point where I can sometimes not be the one to meet her needs! From what I've read, it's typical for the age and even harder when you are the main source of contact.

What do I do? Always offer someone else's lap/arms/etc. adding a preferred item when ever possible. I also do it when I am just hanging with her and who-ever not just when I have to leave eye-shot. That way it's not always "Mommy's going to leave!"

But mostly I think all it is is time and patience.

Good luck!

V

What you're describing is 100% normal separation anxiety and stranger anxiety. It's a normal stage of mental and emotional development. Continue to encourage her to go to her daddy and other family members, as well as friends, but don't force her to the point of her screaming or she'll be traumatized. Most babies get out of this stage between 12-18 months old. Some sooner, some later. I know it's rough, but you can help her by staying in her sight when possible, and attending to her immediate needs (food, clean diaper, injury) and if there's something you must do like shower, let her sit strapped in her baby seat and watch you shower. Make a game of it. Don't let the crying and screaming intimidate you. Crying for brief periods like the amount of time it would take for you to shower, prepare lunch, change another child's diaper, etc will not harm her. It's not like you'd be allowing her to cry for hours on end. You just have to be OK with letting her cry briefly and learn that Mommy will ALWAYS be back. That it's OK for Mommy to walk away, because she'll come back. That it's OK for other people to hold her, because Mommy will come back. That's called learning about object permanence. Peek-a-boo can help her learn this. Peek-a-boo yourself, or a favorite toy. Peek-a-boo Daddy. It's simple, but effective.

Hi T.,
How old are the twins that you are watching? Is she interested in interacting with them? I was thankful to be able to stay home with my son for 8 mos. and I loved every minute of it, until I realized that the only interaction my baby had throughout the day was me. He got used to me being the one to communicate with,so our "clingy" stage seemed to never end. I've continued to socialize him and he's become more inclined to find interest in other people. Now he loves other people and other children really stimulate him! I think it helped us work through that stage of only wanting Mommy! Good luck, but hindsight is always a different vision...and she'll NEVER be a clingy 6 month old EVER again! Take a deep breathe and enjoy the time you have to give your child your undivided time and unrequited love! xoxo

im in the same boat with my 10 month old son. i never had to deal with this with my first two...when i need to get stuff done, i just put him down and if he screams, he screams. its the only thing i can think of to do to get him to grow out of this. hopefully time will pass quickly and he will stop soon! good luck!

Get a sling like the Ergo so that you can wear her and keep your hands free :)

Hi T.! You'll probably hear this from all the other moms too, but it REALLY is just a phase. I dealt with the same exact thing right about the same age, and it drove me crazy!!!! I could not be beyond an arms reach from my daughter when we were alone, and if someone else tried to hold her when I was around, forget it! What drove me even more crazy was everyone saying "oh, what a momma's girl!" or "do you really need to hold her all the time?" or "don't you think you're gonna spoil her?" You feel like you're being torn in so many directions. (of course all these observations were coming from non-moms, or been-a-long-time-moms). When I asked about it at work, all the moms my age assured me that it was just something they all go through, that it is just a stage in their development to make sure you are always gonna be around. One mom (who now has a teenager) said something that stuck with me. "They only are little for such a short time -give em all the love you can. Treasure the time they always want to be near you" Another mom told me the more you fight this stage, the more unsure they become of your permanence, which leads to independence issues later. I just wanted to let you know that I embraced my cling-on, held her just about all the time, with exceptions for neccesites (ya gotta get something done!) for about a month. She is now a completely adjusted 10 mo. old, still loves to be held by momma, but also everyone else. She is also completely contented to be by herself for periods of time, confident that she will always be taken care of. Good Luck T., you are an awesome mom, just trust yourself!

Hi T.~
Sounds like she's going through the very normal "stranger danger" phase most kids go through at about that age. Even Dad can seem like too much to some kids. Take heart..it is a phase and she will outgrow it. She also might be feeling a little jealous of the attention you're giving the twins you're taking care of. That too will pass.

Hi, This part of motherhood is a double edged sword. Occasionally try to imagine your daughter at 15 waving to you over her shoulder and saying "See ya later ma" when you had actually hoped that the two of you would hit the mall and pick up that new outfit she's been talking about. You turn on the TV and life goes on. I'm not trying to be a downer, but this visualization might help you get through the clingy times.

My second piece of advice is to pick up a couple of books on raising children. I was amazed to read that certain behaviors are almost predictable based on a child's age. It turns out that most children hit a separation anxiety stage at about 6 months and it can last until 12 months or so. These books also give you suggestions as to how to handle theses periods and how your husband can hold your daughter without her crying. It all takes time and patience. Good luck.

It will be difficult for you at first, but I highly recommend getting out of the house two to three times a week and letting your daughter stay with your husband. Maybe one night during the week he can put her to bed and you can go out for an hour or two on Saturday and Sunday. If you're in the house, she'll have a hard time going to someone else. If you leave, she'll have to warm up to him. This is very normal.

Hi T.,
there usually happens a developmental spurt around the age of 22-27 weeks. So, besides that clinging to you, (stranger/other people) anxiety and some more other behavioral "backsteps" look out if your daughter is developing new skills and interests. Unfortunately there is not much to do about it than waiting until brain and nervous system are settled again. This time is very hard for you and your hubby. But don't blame anybody. Maybe you can make your life easier with wearing her in a sling/baby carrier,or let her watch from a blanket/bouncing seat when you are cooking, taking a shower etc.
Hope this is comforting and helpful!
A.

My daughter has been doing the exact same thing with strangers but even does it with family and friends...essentially anyone who is not my husband, myself, or my mom (who cares for her 2 1/2 days each week) What I have found is helpful is to give a toy or something that belongs to my daughter to the other person. Once they have been holding it and showing it to her for a while, she is less reluctant to go to them. It also helps ALOT if I leave the room...once she sees me it is all over!
I also let people know that she needs to warm up to them before they reach in to take her....I was starting to feel sorry for her. A new face would show up and immediately want to take her from me. Kind of scary for a little one, I think!
My daughter is 11 months old and it seems to be getting a bit better. Good luck!