Son Won't Poop on the Pot!!

My son was also pee-trained for about 6 months before he ever pooped on the potty. He was just terrified of pooping on the potty, but here's how he got over it. First, I put him in undies except for nap and nighttime. I thought this would 'force' him to go on the potty, but instead he learned to hold it until I put the diaper on, then he would poop. This was helpful, though, because he was learning control and how to poop on demand. You could probably do something similar (without making him 'hold it' until naptime) by putting him in undies but asking him to tell you when he needs to poop and then putting a diaper on him. Once my son was used to controlling his pooping habits, we went stage by stage to get him onto the toilet. We stayed at each stage until he seemed to do that stage comfortably (minimum 2-3 days). The first stage was pooping (in a diaper) in the bathroom. Next was pooping while sitting on the floor of the bathroom (in a diaper). Next was pooping while on the potty in a diaper. This one was hard for him, and the first couple days we spent a lot of time running back and forth to the bathroom where he would try, but couldn't, until finally he did it. It took about 8-9 days, but eventually he got comfortable. Next, I took off the diaper, so he could poop like a big boy. I expected more resistance at this step, but there was none. From the first time he successfully pooped on the potty like a big boy, he was fully potty trained (barring the occasional pee accident). I gave him treats (small candies) for each new stage, but I think he was really motivated himself ... he wanted to be potty-trained, and the stages made it much easier. Good luck!

We went through this with my son when we were potty training. We finally started a "Poopie Chart" where he got a sticker every time he pooped on the potty and when he received so many stickers he got a surprise. We started out with 3 poopie stickers, then increased the number of stickers required to get a surprise as he started using the potty. We had it posted on the refrigerator and he got to put his own stickers on there. I know how you feel, it can be frustrating at times. :-)

Hi,
I'm not sure I'll be any help to you, but I laughed when I read your post. My son is almost 12 and I had a similar problem with him at 3. He didn't want to poop in the potty and would actually BRING ME a diaper and tell me to put it on him so he could POOP in IT!!! It seemed so crazy at the time and I thought he'd NEVER poop in the potty. I guess he was finally ready when one day I told him he could get a gummy Lifesaver if he pooped in the potty and HE DID IT! Hooray!! Just wanted to give you moral support to hang in there because he will eventually poop in the potty, I promise. They grow up really, really fast! Just enjoy him and love him as much as you possibly can!

What tipped the scales with my son was to create a "treasure box". I filled a clear plastic box with a lid with little things from the Dollar Store and every time he successfully went #2 in the potty he got to pick a prize. That also gave him the opportunity to actually see what was in the box and it was a great motivator for the next time he needed to go. He'd really make an effort because he knew what he wanted to pick out lol.

You really just have to hit on the thing that works for your son. Candy, stickers, etc didn't work at all for us.

Please don't use negative reinforcement or time-outs. That will surely backfire on you and create a power struggle or cause more issues/regression because of his embarrassment in not getting there in time or recognizing the signals to go.

I have no adivce, just wanted to let you know you are not alone on this :) My daughter is also 3 1/2 years old and pees with no accidents in the potty but we are also struggling with poop. My mom keeps telling me 'she will get there just give it time' so I keep encouraging my daughter to poop in the potty (and my fingers are crossed that after enough sitting on the potty it will just click).

Hello!

My daughter had the same problem. She would pee on the potty, but was terrified to poop on the potty. She would just walk around the house on her tip-toes holding it in if she wasn't in a Pull-Up or diaper. The "holding" would cause constipation and pain, and we didn't know what to do. She would walk around the house crying from trying to hold it in and knowing it was going to hurt when it came out (because of the constipation.) We tried potty charts and promises of treats and toys. Even the teachers at pre-school were willing to drive to the grocery store and come back with a cake just for her if she would poop on the potty, but no such luck. She wasn't going for it. We even considered hypnosis (too expensive) or taking her to a child psychologist to see if they could "cure" her fears. We were truly at our wits end!

When she was three years old we took her to a pediatric gastroenterologist to see if there was something that could be done about the holding and horrible constipation that resulted. The Specialist said there are two things you cannot make a child do...eat and poop. She said the more you emphasize the issue, the worse it will become. It will turn into a power struggle that you won't win. She said it is up to the child as to when they feel comfortable pooping on the potty. Until that time, she said not to focus on the issue and allow the diapers/Pull-Ups (only when Maddie asked for them). She said the only thing we could do is make sure the poop was soft when she did decide to finally go. We tried all of the normal remedies (apple juice, prune juice, high-fiber foods, etc.), but nothing seemed to work for her. The Specialist recommended daily doses of MiraLax (one capfull in the morning and one capfull in the evening).

On August 21, 2009 (a day that will live in infamy in our house), my husband and I were in the living room and she started calling my name. I asked what she needed and she announced that she just pooped on the potty and needed me to wipe her. My husband and I both JUMPED up and RAN to the bathroom. Sure enough, there she was, sitting there grinning from ear to ear. We all cheered and clapped. It was crazy!! We called and texted people to tell them the good news...seriously, this was a HUGE accomplishment! She said she just decided to try pooping on the potty. She saw there was nothing to be afraid of and hasn't stopped since!

MiraLax has been a lifesaver for us and I know it will work for you. It is a white powder that can be mixed into any drink. It dissolves completely and has no taste. It is safe for all ages, it is not addictive and you cannot overdose on it (per the Specialist.) It is not a stimulant, so it will not cause tummy aches or cramping. It just causes the body to hold more water in the stool making it softer and easier to poop. Once you start giving it to him, it will take two to three days for results. Just be consistent with the doses and he will feel much better.

If you want to talk or have any question, please feel free to e-mail me. I know how frustrating this can be.

A.

Updated

I had the same thing with my son (who is now 20 by the way). He peed in the pot no problem but just wouldn't poop on it, we found a couple of little surprises here and there until we resolved it. I believed he didn't like the close proximity to the bottom of the potty with his behind, so we bought a training seat for the toilet a little earlier than we expected. Once he realised this was his new potty, we had no further surprises or problems in getting him to poop where he should. Try him on the big toilet with a training seat, it certainly worked for me. Good luck.

I must admit, I am always a bit relieved when I see this question pop up--my daughter was potty trained with pee for over a year--even started out completely potty trained in the beginning, then for some reason she changed her mind about the poop and decided that there was absolutely nothing in the world that was better than pooping in a diaper! There was nothing I could give her or take away from her that was a big enough deal to her, until finally we took the diapers away and were consistent. I always gave in because I couldn't stand to put her through the pain of holding it--and she would and did--but eventually (and this is only within the last month) started going on the potty! It was a miracle! I must say it was agonizing for about a week--but we got a routine down that involved sitting on the potty with some books, gave her a little treat afterward, and of course made a huge deal out of how awesome it was that she did it that now she is a pro and will just take care of biz herself (other than wiping) and going in a diaper doesn't even come up anymore. For some reason there is some kind of mental block and once they get over that hump, they figure it out. Oh, I should add, and this is kind of a big thing, she still WON'T do it on the regular toilet, only a potty seat--don't know why--she pees on the big toilet--but whatever, as long as she goes. So maybe your son has the same issue as my daughter and if you haven't tried a little potty seat, give it a whirl. Good luck! I so know exactly where you are at and it is frustrating! But he'll get there--if my daughter did, he will!

This is common for boys. Especially if they are now standing to pee. I went an bought him a movable stool so that when he sat down he could put his feet on the stool. It helps reposition the legs so that pooping is easier.

I also bought a bunch of regular white underwear, and around 10 'cool' underwear. He got to wear the cool underwear in the morning. When he had an accident, he would be changed into the white underwear. If it was a big accident, I didn't even try to clean the underwear, I would just put it in a bag, hand it to him and have him throw it away.

Eventually we were down to just a few 'cool' underwear. When he asked if we could go buy some more cool ones, I said no. Not until you can show me that you can sit on the potty and I don't have to just throw the new ones away tomorrow.

That did it. He started really trying. When he'd gone a week with little or no accidents, we went out and bought some more 'cool' underwear.

Good luck
M.

I don't know if I can help any but I need to vent a little myself, lol! I adopted my son at almost 8 years old from a foreign orphanage, and he was NOT potty trained!!! We have been working on it for the past three years. He did poop in the toilet for a while, but now that he is trained with pee he has started holding the poop again. When I first had him, I would get so angry, so I'm sure that didn't help; finally, I learned to just let things happen on his own time. When he was at the orphanage, he was spanked for pooping in his bed, so he has some negative associations there, too. And at school, he held the poop for a long time but when he would go in the bathroom he would make a HUGE mess, and the aide would get mad at him--more negative repercussions!!

Now, we just sit on the potty ONLY five minutes each night--if he poops, great, if not, that's fine, too. I told him he does not need to have a big poop, like he does after he holds it a long time. If he goes a little every day, he won't have to have the big scary poop. I give him Colace instead of MIralax to soften the stool; it is the same thing but in pill form, which he prefers. I also got some kids books on the digestive system, and I told him the rectum is the part of his tummy that is like a trash can, and you need to empty the trash every day or it will get stinky and make your tummy hurt.

To sum up, I would advise NO NEGATIVES in potty training--it will just make the process longer. Try to explain about the tummy and poop in a way that a small child will understand, so that the request makes sense instead of just being a command from above. And don't assume kids understand the basics--I realize my son did not connect not pooping with having an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach until I explained how digestion works.

We are still working on it, but I'm pretty sure he will be pooping in the potty 100% of the time by the time he goes to college :o)

Good luck!!!